 |
| |
|
|
|
Would you leave your country? & poem posted: 04/14/06 at 10:37 AM
|
|
|
For those of you who live in different countries and who are waiting to pass the hurdles of the local love police, would you leave your country, sell your house if necessary and possibly even change your citizenship in order to be with your loved one? Most often the emigre is the woman. But what about if it is more fast or easier for the man to leave? Would you do it?
In my own case, my country, in its own bizaare sense of love and immigration has made it completely legal for me to either live with or marry anyone down the street--regardless, but not my foreign love.
But when my love is somewhere outside the lines in the sand, suddenly there are laws against love which say that many things and ungodly delays must happen first. The prejudices and assinine assumptions are stunning.
The waiting has brought her near to a nervous breakdown and in a prolonged and untenable depression. For real. So I had to make a decision. A hard decision, as this was never originally even on the map as a possibility, until she nearly collapsed from the emotional fatique. The pain from the gutwrenching sobbing, the uncontrolable weeping and soul-deep heart tearing agony in her voice was what made me know that I had to do something.
Thanks to the governments of the world for playing God with people's personal life because of those LDR's which ultimately went south and engendered these ungodly laws. Ever heard of the term "failed marriage" when the people in it were both locals?
This policy of jumping through hoops and waiting for some pencil-pushing geek to approve my love life on his lazy @ss schedule makes me want to smack some politician and their bureaucrat bosses on the side of the head. F.U.
----------
There are no secrets... only those who refuse to admit the truth.
Last edited by curiousme on 04/16/06 at 10:58 PM
click to: respond to this topic
|
|
| Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted: 04/14/06 at 5:25 PM
|
|
|
I believe if you love someone you should be prepared to move to them. If it is easier to go to them, then that is your choice half made.
I would leave my country and sell up to go to someone I loved. I hope he would do the same for me. Which it will be will depend on factors such as visas, work permits, employment prospects, current income, family...lots of consideration.
Its ok for people who have no ide of the stresses and strains to say stick it out, but if you can do it now, do it...be happy for as long as you can be, no one knows when it will be snatched away.
----------
Don't get mad, get even... better!!!
Cadbury's take 'em and cover them in chocolate
I thank my lucky stars everyday for the wonderful people I have in my life.
I follow the maxim for the perfect woman: Lady in the dining room, wh0re in the bedroom & chef in the kitchen. One day I will make it into the kitchen  
click to: respond to this topic
|
|
| Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted: 04/14/06 at 6:00 PM
|
|
|
| I met my bf when studying abroad in sydney. we dated for 2.5 months, then he went on holiday and we said our goodbyes in hopes of him visiting me in the states. while he was away i decided to stay for a month longer once he got back. if i never had decided to do that, we wouldnt be where we are today. that month showed us a lot and we fell in love and randomly one evening while we were chatting he offered to move to the states to be with me while i finished grad school. its just funny tho bc it was never pre-meditated that we would decide on this decision. we've been apart now since dec18 and we are doing amazing. our love has just expanded to god knows what. its just working very well but of course my heart breaks a lot bc of not having him here... anyways my pt is, he will be leaving his apartment, car, belongings, family, job, etc. ALL FOR ME!! soo yes for him, he's willing to do all that. im willing after 3+ years to move permanently back with him to sydney. soo its negotiable. hope that answered your question i didnt read your whole post, sorry!
----------
I love my Aussie!!!!
Met August 6, 2005 and married August 20, 2008.
click to: respond to this topic
|
|
| Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted: 04/14/06 at 6:05 PM
|
|
|
At the risk of my man reading this and TOTALLY freaking out....(It's okay, honey, I'm speaking hypothetically here, really... )....
Yes, I would move. If the circumstances were right, yes, I would make the move. Granted, in my current situation, it's not like anyone would be more than about a 2 hour plane ride away, but still....
----------
No matter how this all turns out...know that there is one man who loves you unconditionally darling.....unconditionally. ~LCM
click to: respond to this topic
|
|
| Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted: 04/15/06 at 4:31 AM
|
|
|
In my case, I'm a single mom with an 11yo daughter who has special needs. My ex hubby lives here, and due to the custody arrangements, I don't think I would be allowed to take her out of country.
My sweetheart is in England and single~so, when the time comes, he is packing up his stuff and moving over here.
----------
Wherever you go, whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you...
Cause I miss you body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away...
click to: respond to this topic
|
|
| Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted: 04/16/06 at 10:57 AM
|
|
|
| He's already left his country to join the military and is now running around half of the UK. I have already emigrated from my place of birth, and then from another country where i grew up, to where I am now. I love where I live right now, but after university, I will probably move as well- and this is actually nothing to do with him, I would have moved whether or not we had been together, it is simply luck he will be where I planned to move to. We have no restrictions on being together through citizenship thankfully, it is simply educational circumstances forcing us into this right now, so yes, I would move.
----------
**Me**
click to: respond to this topic
|
|
| Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted: 05/02/06 at 1:48 PM
|
|
|
Yes, I'd leave my country to be with her when the relationship has reached that level. But you shouldn't do it just to save a long distance relationship strained too much by distance. You should do it because you're ready to start a life together. In my case I've been with her while I was in Czech Republic as long as I've been apart from her working in the US and flying back to attend classes and see her every other week or two there. So we're together often enough not to abandon one another's country just yet, and since she's coming to the States at the end of June for three months and we'll resume the twice a month visits come the end of September and hopefully a month together during winter break, we'll have enough time together that the distance won't become a big issue again until February 2007 
She never wanted to stay in Czech Republic and always figured she'd move to England since she studied English for so long and went there on holiday. Now the US is much more on her mind, so we'll see, it could be her leaving to start a life with me and not vice versa.. but definitely one of us are leaving our country behind in the coming year or two, it's just progressed in that direction.
click to: respond to this topic
|
|
| Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted: 05/02/06 at 1:56 PM
|
|
|
| im 99.9999% sure i would move to his country if i could. i actually lived there before tho so im familiar with everything in his town so that helps. i dont think people should rush things and jump into it though without serious thought. i did that when i was 19 - met a guy and married him 6 months later, then another two months after that i moved from canada to germany. the relationship wasnt good tho, but i still liked living in different places and that helps me to know that i would move for my relationship now if it was possible. i enjoyed living in that country even while having a crappy marriage, so i can only imagine how good and exciting it would be this time... but i cant move because of my daughter so thats out of the question. he would have to be the one that moved here and sell his home and belongings.. i wish it didnt have to be that way but it does... but we arent rushing anything or that would just spell disaster and cause too much stress.
click to: respond to this topic
|
|
| Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted: 05/02/06 at 11:26 PM
|
|
|
I left mine to be with my husband but i have to tell you,
you might want to list down EVERY advantage and disadvantage for you to move in there. Coz if you just move there based on LOVE, i could guarantee you it wouldn't take you long to leave her. ONLY love itself won't even make a relationship work,not to mention a moving to be together that might cause you to a huge deppression and stress. Once you move to a country that you don't speak the language, eat different food, different culture and tradition, not only culture shock you will have to deal with,
but emotional break down you will face. and with the fact you have taken the HUGE step,everytime you feel down, your someone will feel stress and deppressed too. You move to her you will feel very stress and deppress with the new environment and the fact you move FOR her and still feel not happy, will leave her to a stress and deppression moment too. In short, you both will forget to pamper each other's love and will focus *more* on your break down.
If you list down all the things u might have to face and see the advantages for example:
1. language. if you don't speak her language while she speaks yours, the only person you can communicate in her country is her. of course you can go to class to learn her language but remmeber,it might take at least one year to be able to *communicate* with the language. the question is can you hold on your stress for that long? coz whether you like it or not, the fact you don't speak her language might make u feel down when she is around her friends or familyu and they start to talk their language and you don't understand.
2. Job. Will you like the work in there?although it pays probably not as high as your place? Can you accept that?
3. House or place to live. if both of you have a house ,then it wouldnt be a matter who moves to who.
4. Family. If you ever live far from your family and are not very close to them,you willl be pretty much fine. but if you NEVER live far from your family and very close to them,it will be very difficult to deal with.
5. and the list still goes on.
Me and my husband did the list things and figured out it's me who did the move. I might have type this over and over but who moves to who is a BIG deal. I am the one who moved and i used to be the one whom the guy moved for me without second thought and was VERY DEADLY sure he could do it. only 3 months he could survive and flew back home. For peaople who moved,if they finally fall in love to the place they move,it's very likely the moving success but NOT everyone can do that. You would think the longer someone stays,the more likely he or she will like the place and get used to the culture and stuffs. but not my ex,he admitted after 3 months,he hated EVERYTHING in my city. pollution,food,traffic jam, different culture, EVERYTHING. but i knew a friend from U.S.A who moved to my country and married with a woman from my country and had been liivng in my country for more than 10 years and LOVED it. everyone is different. thats why everyone should be prepared to what they might have to face.
I have a friend from U.S.A and went to Thailand to teach English. He met his wife there and got married and they had kids. I could tell you he loved his wife and kids very much but he doesnt like liiving in thailand at all. he ended up leaving his wife and kids and flew back home after 7 years of marriage. He could have applied k3 Visa for them but the fact he has been working in Thailand and not U.S.A,he didnt have enough money to apply that visa.
I am not sure where you aer from but if you are from U.S.A ,you always can apply K1 visa for your someone no matter where she is from,it might take sometime but if you both figure out it's better its her who moves to you,i'd rather wait for LONGER than rush to try to be together and finally end it up breaking up because we can't handle the stress and deppression. Remember, ALL people who do the move ,when they do it ,they are 100% SURE they can do it. but you have NO IDEA what you have to deal with untill you are *on field*.
I was young and naive when my ex moved to me and when things didnt work out,i blamed to the fact MAYBE he didnt love me enough. but after i met my husband and i moved and we got married and things go great, i realized it's NOT that my ex didnt love me enough but love itself doesn't conquer all. you need MORE than love to conquer all.
----------
To the question of u'r life, u r the only answer. To the problems of u'r life, u r the only solution.
Nobody is perfect and I am nobody. That's why, i am perfect.
click to: respond to this topic
|
|
| Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted: 09/25/06 at 5:52 PM
|
|
|
quote:
originally posted by Riri
you might want to list down EVERY advantage and disadvantage for you to move in there. Coz if you just move there based on LOVE, i could guarantee you it wouldn't take you long to leave her. ONLY love itself won't even make a relationship work,not to mention a moving to be together that might cause you to a huge deppression and stress. Once you move to a country that you don't speak the language, eat different food, different culture and tradition, not only culture shock you will have to deal with,
well said it
As Riri already mentioned above her post, this is really important for you to think about. Can you answer all her questiones without any hesitation??? If not, think harder. Because what she said her post is really ture story. I had to leave my country because I thought that was the only option that I had to save my relationship with my hubby. It was really hard decision to make. Probably the hardest decision that I had to make in my life.....love is of course important, but like Riri said it, love itself doesn't conquer all. My hubby LOVES my country so much, but it comes to living, it's totally different story. Make a list of all pros and cons. Good luck.
----------
******************************
It's not so important what you have.
It's important whom you have in your life.
Last edited by Sunflower202 on 09/25/06 at 6:06 PM
click to: respond to this topic
|
|
| Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted: 09/27/06 at 3:32 PM
|
|
|
Country? yes I would leave.
But the other question is relatives and friends...
I'm on LDR now and sure we plan to leave together... First of all we determined who will moove where in case relations will be on the stage of creating new family... I think it's not right when one person demands and refuse to think of moving himself/herself... There should be reasons... On my case I wil move to him because of his better job and salary and that on my country it will be harder for him to get such a job plus with salary that will allow him to travel home often... the second is that he won't able to get used to our culture and traditions... So I will move...
The second problem is whether I can moove- yes I can if i want him to be my family but sure won't do i without thinking... First of all always should be backup plan- for me it's my property in my country... in case something will go wrong I always can come back home...
And sure third thing and main thing- relatives! I would never moove without knowing that every 2-3 months or like that I won't go home to meet my mom and others... I can sacrifice but with normal level... I think such decision should be made not with heart only- but first of all with your brains.
----------
"I like you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you."
"In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged."
click to: respond to this topic
|
|
| Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted: 09/30/06 at 11:56 PM
|
|
|
| Yes i would move for my boyfriend. We've actuallyt talked about this the past month or so bringing it up every now and than, and he actually wants to come here, so we are going to work on that, see if we can actually get him here. But the red tape to get here, or go there, is amazinly thick, and i can really understand how the first poster is feeling. sometimes it just feels like this isnt going to go anywhere, and we are going to be stuck in our two differenct countries forever. But we are ready to wait as long as we need to be together. If we really cnat get him here, than i'm going to try and go there. I would prefer to go there anyways, he has a very good relationship with his family, and i know he would love to be around them more than once a year, while ever since i've been with my boyfriend, my relationship with my family has gone down the drain, so i havent much to loose right now. But we'll see. But yes, I would deffinitly move for my boyfriend, and I know the answer is the same on his side.
click to: respond to this topic
|
|
| Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted: 10/01/06 at 10:19 PM
|
|
|
| I have seriously been thinking about moving to my boyfriend's place. I have lived there for about 7 months and enjoyed it mostly.. I speak the language, could find a good job and have even some friends, but there is one thing that really worries me: MY FAMILY. I have the duty to take care of my grandparents and parents when they get old. I could not do it if I lived far away. How do you handle this with your conscience? I am very family oriented and I don’t know what to do..
----------
You're one in a million, don't try to be someone else!
click to: respond to this topic
|
|
| Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted: 10/01/06 at 10:29 PM
|
|
|
| Yes I would leave my country, for me it's a bit easier since my guy lives in the country that I was born in and spend the first three years of my life (not that I can remember haha). I have always had plans to move back there for a couple of years and to experience life there so regardless of things working out between me and him I'll be moving there. Plus half of my family lives there and my parents also have plans to move back home.
----------
'Remembering
Your touch, Your kiss, Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
If you'll be waiting'
click to: respond to this topic
|
|
| Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
posted: 10/03/06 at 5:30 PM
|
|
|
If he doesn't get his visa by then, next year I will be moving there. I'm preparing myself for the culture shock. In February I spent about a month there. So I already know how hard it will be. But it's only going to be for a year or so. It's not really to save our relationship. It's more to just spend some time together.
His country is Mauritania which is an Islamic country. I have already gone through the whole thing with the language and all of his friends and family knowing Arabic and French but me. But they were all kind with me and was trying to help me learn it as well.
It scares me to be away from my family for so long and such a distance. But right now in my family we are having a lot of problems. Like my mom and dad seperating, my brother is incarcerated, my other brothers have pretty much dropped me because they don't like my husband. Plus, I only go around one of my grandmas. And she has been telling me to go. I feel like, I need to get away for a while. I need some time for me and I feel like this is the best way to do it.
So yes, I will be moving there temporarily.
Debby
----------
We are geographically challenged!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me and My Habeebi
click to: respond to this topic
|
|
| Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
|
|
|
|
|
