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seeking advice posted: 04/13/06 at 11:57 PM
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hi there, im a divorced and single dad raising two children. well just found out my daughter that is 14yrs old is sexually active.seeking advice in this subject.
I have sat her down and talked 3 different times.
about this and the possibilities. plans are in the works for a trip to plan parenthood. really think she needs to stop having sex. but she says she wont. do I get her on
the pill or what. im kinda lost.........help
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posted: 04/14/06 at 12:33 AM
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Oh geez, thats early.
I would definetly suggest you take her to a gyno (make sure youre there with her) and look through the options of Birth Control.
The Pill would not be a bad advice to be honest.
She said she wasnt going to stop being sexually active - I do not know what advice to give for this one, since Im not a parent. Other people in here will probably be of more assistance for this issue.
Good luck!
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Jess
Soon to be divorced 
Mommy since February 2007
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posted: 04/14/06 at 1:11 PM
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| I am 20 yrs old and married with a daughter of my own, i have been sexually active since i was 16. I wish my mom would have set down with me and ad told me she knew, i wish she would have taken me to go get on birth control. I think that you are doing a preat job by talking with her. Just support her, i dont mean tell her to go ahead and do it but support her in the sence that take her to get the pill and encourage safe sex. You cant stop her from doing it and yelling wont get you anywhere but you can relax and tell her to use protection. If you need anymore ideas please feel free to pm me.
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****Proud Mommy****
Audrie Noelle Matta
July 6, 2005
6:55 pm
AND
Brayden Tyler Matta
February 28th, 2007
12:20pm
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posted: 04/14/06 at 1:26 PM
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Yes I think the best thing is to get her on birth control, I believe she will have to learn to be resposible if she thinks she is ready to start having sex.
She is going to have to be responsible though in taking it, I would try to go the best route that she can take it , like the patch or the shot, most girls are not good about taking their pill everyday so you can only hope.
This is a tough one , but you are doing a great thing by trying to lead her in the right direction, and I see with teens , fighting gets you no where.
She is now taking her own risks and hopefully will come out of it barely skaved by her actions.
Best Wishes!
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posted: 04/14/06 at 2:40 PM
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thank you for your responses.yes I agree that yelling at her will not solve anything. im just really proud of her for being honest with this matter. safe sex is most important I agree.
I also like the idea of the patch or the shot.she wanted to go with a couple of freinds. but I insisted on going . and letting the freinds come along also for support.
thanks again all for the help and ideas.
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posted: 04/14/06 at 11:02 PM
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| I know she is still young but i have heard ALOT of bad things about people trying to conceivce later in life that that did the shot. I know she doesnt want kids now but 10 years form now if she continues with it, it could really mess her up. Just wanted to let you know.
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****Proud Mommy****
Audrie Noelle Matta
July 6, 2005
6:55 pm
AND
Brayden Tyler Matta
February 28th, 2007
12:20pm
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posted: 04/15/06 at 2:21 PM
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I agree whole heartedly. she really isnt ready for sex.
but she is having it. as far as I know its just the same 16 yr old boy for now. they been together almost a year.but after having sex now if something was to happen to the relationship.
its possible it could be random guess. hell could be now.
omg I hope not.she is well aware of stds and pregnancy.
a couple of her freinds are pregnant. makes me wander?
also she is dealing with her best freinds suicide.
alot going on for her right now. .....I agree we will be going to gyno this week......thanks for input.....jackson
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posted: 04/16/06 at 12:19 PM
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| Planned Parenthood goes by your income (you have to put your income down). But I always put I didnt have a job so it would be for free. My friend was on the shot and gained A TON of weight. I was on the patch and I loved that better than the pill. Good luck
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Proud mommy of two!
Wynter 3/7/06
Liliana 12/7/07
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posted: 04/17/06 at 3:18 AM
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It is young I agree but she obviously has a decent level of maturity and trust in you to come forward and tell you she is sexually active. PP from my understanding is very similar to something we have in Australia they offer councilling for all ages on all means of BC as well as the ramifications of being sexually active at an early age the physical and the emotional.
I think its great that you can both talk but it would be good if she had a close female relative or friend she can talk to. Someone who will not judge her or talk down to her and she feels safe confiding in.
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"Self-Realization is effortless. What you are trying to find is what you already are"
Ramesh Balsekar
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posted: 04/21/06 at 7:01 AM
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She needs to know that if she is grown up enough to be having sex then she needs to take the responsibility that goes with it ie: birth control and physical exams.
I agree that a trusted female friend or relative should have an in depth conversation with her.
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I wanna be a cowboy baby.....with the top let back and the sunshine shinin'
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posted: 07/11/06 at 1:53 PM
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update, my daughter is pregnant now. she and her boyfreind are broken up. after hearing of the missed periods. I decided to go buy an at home pregnancy test. sure enough not even 2 sec later positive. not believing my eyes I had her do another one. sure enough positive.
so off to the doctor we went. after running a few tests that also said she was pregnant. she is three monthes along. wow got pregnant around time I posted on here. we have cried ,laughed and just been all emotional. after talking with her it seems. she would like to keep this child. her mind is set on it. im so destrought I can't sleep. im just trying to be the best dad I can.
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posted: 07/11/06 at 2:41 PM
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Wow! i only just had a read of this thread! 14? pregnant?
Well i was 15 when i first had sex. No i still dont regret it to this day.
I think the best thing you can do now is support her no matter what her choice.
Also if her and her bf have broken up, go about getting some kind of payment from him every week, and make it offical, not just take his word on it, while it may not be much, its some thing.
Another thing to keep in mind is when she does have the baby, the birth cert. if she decides to put the fathers name on it, he can then take her to court and try and get full reasponsiblity of the child. Ive seen this happen many times before.
Yes i would be stressing like hell if my 14 yr old told me she was pregnant! But just remember, shes proberly stressing out even more then you are.
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posted: 04/18/06 at 8:36 PM
