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Lovingyou.com > Relationship Support > Multicultural Romance > Black & Asian Rating: Thread Rating: 2 votes, 3.00 average.
Black & Asian posted: 05/17/05 at 5:51 AM

swoltz5001  [more]
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I am a black female involved with a Korean/Chinese/Cuban man. Things are going great... but I'm not sure how comfortable he is with me. He talks about his mother, who is Korean, but has never introduced us. Do Asian parents really not like their children dating outside of their race? He's met my family though. Except for my father, should I give my father a heads up before I introduce them? My father is not the most open minded person. Also, me being with him is the first time I've seen a black female with an Asian male, that's strange you don't see that very often.

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posted: 05/17/05 at 9:59 AM

chica guapa  [more]
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quote:
Do Asian parents really not like their children dating outside of their race?

I have dated outside my race before and my parents were fine with it. My mum, however, has always been against my sister and I dating black guys as she doesn't want her grandkids "to be part black". But the blacks where I live (Australia) tend to keep to themselves and don't associate with other races.

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*Believe that you can deal with things as they evolve, because you can*

Spain - Australia

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posted: 05/17/05 at 10:14 AM

Lulind3111  [more]
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first, welcome in this forum swoltz5001

One of my best friend is Asian, and he's dating a white girl, at first his family was acting weird, but now the girl is a part fo the family so.

Don't be scared to show who you are, and what you believe in.

hope you well
Lulind

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posted: 05/17/05 at 11:10 PM

swoltz5001  [more]
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Thanks for the replies

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posted: 05/21/05 at 12:45 AM
Seraph  [more]
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Yupp, welcome Swoltz5001!

Being Asian, it all depends on the community where you guys live. If your bf is living in a tight knit Asian comunity (God I hate those) then chances are it will be hard for him to introduce you to his folks.

Me being Asian (Filipino) living in a Jewish community, my folks have always been fine with me dating any culture/ethnicity that I want, though they prefer I marry a Filipino, I told them I won't coz Filipino girls are just too old fashioned and culture-centred (LoL Im not, Im a banana (yellow asian on the outside, white on the inside )

If U want someone specific for advice regarding ur BF/AM relationship, talk to Meowmix, U guys are on the same page ^^ With the exception that she and her boi are getting married (I believe)

Hope U enjoy ur stay here at Lovingyou.com!

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posted: 05/21/05 at 2:34 AM

meowmix  [more]
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Hey it looks like I just came back just in the nick of time! Hello and welcome swoltz

I am a Black American female and my fiance is Chinese. Now from what I have experienced in dating a Korean man in the past, his mother was very traditional as far as the type of woman she wanted her son with. She wanted him only with another Korean woman who were a lot like herself. He only introduced one of his exes to his mother and his mother didn't even like her because she was "Americanized." He said the girl was educated and everything, but his mother felt like she was too independent acting and that she would not be able to take care of her son the way she did. I was thinking to myself like "omg he already has a mother, why need a second one." She was also annoyed that she didn't even speak their language. She didn't give this girl a chance, so I knew right from there that my relationship with him would most likely never get past the dating stage and I stopped our relationship shortly after that story!

Now in my relationship with my fiance, his family (which is very traditional)accepts me and has welcomed me with open arms. I feel that is because I don't fit the stereotypical role of a Black person, you know....uneducated, lazy, loud and aggressive. They are also proud of the fact that I am taking the initiative to learn mandarin and that I am able to take care of their son as far as being encouraging, loving, and respectful. They are also thrilled with the fact that I can cook Asian dishes for him. So I feel that if your boyfriend is worried about the race issue and bringing you home because his mother may be the closed minded type, you can possibly change that! Try to learn as much as you can about his culture and take a lot of initiatives! I believe that a lot of Asians are very hard workers and they respect those who too are hard workers and aren't afraid of challenges! You have the opportunity to leave him with lasting impressions, so that he has really wonderful things to tell his family about you... prior to the meeting! I feel that he would want to prepare them with information about you, before informing them about your being Black. My fiance had to do that with his grandparents, because they were horribly racist against blacks. Because his parents prepared them in advance about what type of person I was and what I do for their son, they now can't wait to meet me and are accepting!

You can visit www.aaaunity.com to see more stories like ours! I also started a thread in FWAAM (a site about women who love Asian men) on AM/BF relationships and even posted a picture of myself and my fiance and have gotten nothing but love their from both Asian male and female, so I would suggest you join that site! You would be surprised of how accepting our type of union can be especially to our younger generation!

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http://www.blujay.com/virtualmakeover

Last edited by meowmix on 05/21/05 at 2:46 AM

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posted: 06/01/05 at 3:40 AM

CoreysGirl  [more]
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I have a friend who's dad is Chinese and who's mom is black. As far as I know, they're still married, but I never met his mom or dad. Just him and his sister who told me. I thought they were Spanish. But I think it's cool. I'm half Puerto Rican and European (possibly British) and my boyfriend is Slovakian, German, and a bunch of other things. He doesn't know any of the languages that go to those countries, but I know Spanish. We're really cool about it. I love learning about other cultures and I know that in China sometimes, the marriage is arranged. My favourite author is Chinese and her older sister's marriage was arranged. Her older sister was 17, the man was 31 or something like that. He was also Chinese, but the marriage fell apart. I've also seen a couple of black and white couples at my high school and someone in my birth family is white married to a black man. And I also heard that Puerto Ricans might have some black in them. I like interracial relationships because it gives you a chance to learn about other cultures like your partner's culture. I've taught my boyfriend some words in Spanish and he's totally cool with that. If he knew Russian or Czech, or German, I would let him teach me.

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The future Mr. and Mrs. Corey Resetar

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Black & Asian posted: 06/01/05 at 12:46 PM

ro'sluvbuzz  [more]
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This is the discussion i was scrolling though this page for and Walla! I found it co I really want to talk about this.

I agree with you and i give you much love and best wishes.

Recently, i met an Asian guy at my job, His Asian and Hawaiian and I am black. He is a great guy, we talked for about a month or so, getting to know each other superficially (on the surface) you know when you just meet someone. He was quickly turning to be the guys of my dreams and i think i was really fitting in a puzzle on his end also. I didn't care about what i have always wanted my partner to be Tall, but everything seemed to be falling in place superficially, he liked the sports i liked, some i did not care too much for and he liked the outdoors (nature) just as much i as i do. He sings and plays guitar and the piano, which is something i have always wanted to learn how to do - quite a few more things i found very intriguing about him and honestly was looking forward to know him beyond the Mr. nice guy but really the good and the bad. I mean i loved the way he made me feel, the attention.

Wasn't sure that a guy like that wouldn't already have a girlfriend, especially since he had the physic that matches with that romantic side of him.

Anyways, the sad part to the story is, it never went beyond the first meet. I wouldn't say date bcos it was not. But he was just almost perfect even though, i have to say the defects were also big but for the others i thought it might be worth it.

When after we meet and i guess he found that Im not like some girls, I have strict rules about my life style (sex - one big issue) he kind of based it on that and guess he decided that all the other things we felt so good about each other was not big enough to cover that part. I was sad and disappointed, you know, looked forward to some good times (cos we seemed to have clicked).

The funny things is lately, more Asian guys have been drawn to me than I ever thought possible, i mean the others are looking, they see but it's not like the Asians i have seen and meet lately.

I once saw, a very nice looking (reputable) guy at the Public Library and he wanted to talk to me but every time, i was not busy discussing with someone, he was, and some how we kinda just lost the sight that they. This was prior to meeting the Asian guy i mentioned above. And now since then, it's been Asian guys all around. You know just Monday when we finalized that it was not going to work. I was on break when another Asian guy introduces himself to me with an invitation for lunch, as if he knew the other was gone! = )

In a (large) nutshell, yes Asian guys with black girls, i think are going to be just a little more popular.

Another funny thing before i leave the forum is before i meet this Asian guy at my job, i was just telling my Ex (White) sis, in an Interracial dating discussion, that the only races mixes you barely ever see is an Asian Man with a black girl, Asian women with white men are common just not the other. I say bring it on and have fun!

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posted: 06/01/05 at 2:27 PM

Breezyblews  [more]
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Ro'sluvbuzz...what has likely happened is that you are checking Asian guys out differently and they notice. You can pick up an "interest" vibe from someone and all of a sudden these Asian guys are thinking..."hey...she is giving the vibe and so that makes her a possibility"...You have opened the door for these men...men like to be safe when they approach a woman and if they get an inkling that the woman is slightly interested it makes them bolder. I think that perhaps the gulf between Asians and Blacks comes only from the idea that we are so very different, that there is no reason to even try to bridge the gap but when you flirt with an Asian guy and he does the same it opens a whole new world for each of you and I think that this is so cool.

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posted: 06/02/05 at 12:58 AM

ro'sluvbuzz  [more]
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Thanks Breezyblews for the respoce i do aggree with your insight. I am finding my self hooked here.

I guess i was just shocked by the attention. the guy at my job i metioned, you konw i asked why, among every one else, anmd atv firsthe thought i wa giving my self enought credit (beautiful) but i told him no it was the esteem issue cos i have a lot of it but the fact that he is Asian and i am African (black - color) which is the beauty of it all.

On one hand, i wasn't too supprised, bcos i am more attracted to guys out of my race, quite frankly never really dated one, and guys from other races seemm to be attracted to me too, at least the ones that express it.

But thanks, once again for the mssg make me feel a little better, still feeling the incompleteness from that attempt, i don't like to leave things half way especially if i did not abandon it = )

I have one last comment more like a question, Breezyblews, are you an Asian guy?

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