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Guy at work posted: 08/05/12 at 7:11 PM
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A male co-worker used to flirt with me whenever he got a chance , there were times where he asked me a couple of times to go out for a cup of coffee, in a half joking way. Well, very recently I heard he's going out with a girl that works in his department and it seems they've been official for the last month or so. He's completely changed and everyone has noticed it. He used to be extroverted and funny but now he's awfully quiet and in his own little world.
I've noticed his behaviour towards me is almost hostile and rude. I've noticed this more when I recently tried to add him on f.c. and he never accepted it, whereas my other lady co-workers he's got them on. I have no idea where it's coming from but sometimes I catch and feel him looking at me but we mostly ingore each other. I just have no clue what I did and I'm not interested in him in that way since he's 2yrs younger than I but we work together and he made a complete 180. Is a being an immature jerk? I'm interested what you think of his behaviour.
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posted: 08/05/12 at 7:21 PM
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Why does every guy's behavior have to be analyzed and decoded?
No one here knows what's going on in his head. What you may interpret has hostile and rude, he might think of as being respectful to his relationship. OR it could be something else going on in his life. There are hundreds of possibilities.
But the real question, WHY does it matter?
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posted: 08/05/12 at 7:46 PM
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Well for starters it matters he made rude remark to one of my friends and when I mean he's been rude, I mean childish nasty "bully" type. Like I said, I have no interest in him in that way, because if I did I would've taken that opportunity and this isn't about decoding his personal life because I just don't care. I never even knew he was dating because it doesn't matter to me,
so please stop assuming I'm "decoding" for other hidden purposes. Sometimes, I'm just getting frusturated with some POSTERS attitude towards giving "advice" ...if you gotta be rude and nothing productive to say don't reply.
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posted: 08/05/12 at 8:34 PM
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I agree with K, what does it matter?
If you really want to know, then ask him what's going on, no one here can tell you what he's thinking or why he's behaving that way because there could be a million reasons. Just approach him, ask him if he's alright and just say you feel he's mad at you and you can't figure out the reason why and just wanted to talk to him to clear up any misunderstandings.
Though it does sound immature to me, you are at your job to work, not have to deal with someone's behavior, regardless of the reason.
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posted: 08/05/12 at 9:19 PM
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Why do you have this thread in the "love advice" forum?
He is NOT your boyfriend. He does NOT owe you an explanation for his behavior. Leave him alone.
He made a remark at your friend , NOT you. Let them sort it out. She's not your child. For that matter, why you would add him on Facebook makes no sense if you were never interested in him at all in any capacity. Again, leave him alone and mind your business.
Get a dog or something.
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posted: 08/05/12 at 10:09 PM
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I have to agree with everyone else, what does it really matter?
I was given some good advice by my psychologist last week that I think could benefit you. She told me, you can't change other people; what they do or say or how they are or how they react to things. It is pointless analysing why he said this, or why he did that. All we can do is change how WE react to things.
So, in short... does his behaviour actually affect you in any way? If yes, you can take steps to deal with that. If no, then why are you wasting time and energy worrying about it? Perhaps he's unhappy in his relationship and taking it out on others. Perhaps he's being distant because he thinks you might be interested and he's uncomfortable. Perhaps he's just a bully. But it's not your problem, it's his.
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"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone."
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posted: 08/05/12 at 10:53 PM
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baby, the way you describe this scenario sounds like a problem happening in a high school, not a workplace. I understand that workplace gossip is a part of working life, but do yourself a favor and stop engaging in it. It does no good and only makes you look very immature, imo.
I'll agree with everyone else, move on. If it's bothering you that much, ask him. If he looks at you as if to ask 'wtf?' then it's all in your head which it probably is.
or maybe....just maybe, it's not his behavior that's changed
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posted: 08/05/12 at 11:14 PM
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| Let me explain this clearer. I walked passed him while going about my business. He makes an offensive remark infront of my co-workers. At first I was oblivious but I noticed the reaction one of my friends. I'm not into gossip, and some of you here don't seem to get it, I find it really rude that you assume I participate into this. It can very well effect my relationship with other people who work there so I explained my situation in a nutshell, and as I wrote on my OP...We do IGNORE each other during work...but when it's a must he's been really offensive and hostile. Maybe ya'll need to read it again. I'm just amazed at how you're all flying off the handle. Christ!!
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posted: 08/05/12 at 11:57 PM
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No one is flying off the handle. We are simply wondering what is there to get advice on in this situation. It's not about a love relationship as bialy pointed out and it's really just you being hurt that some co-worker is being rude.
Again, I will repeat myself, if you feel harrassed, go to your human resources and report him. Otherwise, just continue to ignore him and move on about your day.
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