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Now what  posted: 08/03/12 at 8:39 PM
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My story is complex and some of you may have read my post in the ask a guy group. For those of you who are not familiar, I am an unhappily married 30s something whose husband strayed from the marriage earlier this year. We sought counseling and I just don't know how to feel as to whether our marriage will last. I have lost all feelings for my husband. I took comfort in a male friend who helped me through some very dark days when I couldn't understand how my husband could do what he had. Through that journey we fell in love.
I am not stupid to realize how complicated and wrong this is. Not only am I married but he is as well. I am confused, sad and torn. I know in all reality of the situation that we will never be together in the end. That stuff is made for fairy tales not real life. I don't know how to pull myself away after he has gotten me through so much. We have such a strong bond. This has only been an online and phone connection however we did meet years back and have known each other face to face it is just that we now live a few hours apart.
The last few times we have talked I have tried to pull myself away, trying to cut ties knowing this would be hard but knowing it would be something I would have to do. I avoid saying I love you this way he doesn't feel obligated and if this is just truly about having sex, then he's not feeling obligated to say it cuz I haven't. What is confusing as heck is the less I have said it the more he has. He hasn't forced intimate conversations either.
This just adds to the confusion. Don't married men just seek outside of their marriages for sex? We can never be together so why are you making me fall for you if leaving your wife would never be an option?
I grew nerve last night and sent the following letter. I am absolutely miserable. I want to walk away and move on but I just can't seem to do it. I knew it would be hard but how do I do this? How do I walk away from someone that I can see forever with?
I miss you so much it hurts right now. I hate that I feel like this. I love you sooooo much, but I don't want to be caught up in you when the thoughts of a happy ending with you are so far from reality. I have been thinking a lot about things lately with my future and I am so very uncertain what any of the right answers are any more. I am so afraid to love you any more than I do because if I choose to love you and leave my husband I will still spend my nights alone.
It has made me wonder if running away from it all and starting over might just be best, but it isn't without a very heavy heart. I hate the thought of being alone after I feel like I have met my soul mate. Maybe you don't believe in such a thing, I didn't used to either but you just seem to fit me. I can't live in a dream world though. I can't dream of a future with you when the world is prohibited from knowing about us. That won't change. I am not blind to see that you are in love with her and I. Or at least I think you love me. You say it so often and so much of me wants to believe those words but words are just words. I can say anything to anyone. It doesn't make them accountable to prove it.
As you know I spent yesterday with my husband. When he hugged me I wished it was your arms wrapped around me. When he kissed me, I imagined what your lips would feel like. I want you so terribly bad and I know I shouldn't. I want to know what making love with you feels like; your lips on mine, your tender hands caressing my breasts, your manhood as it enters me and I grip it tightly. No one can move me like you do.
When I've talked to you about dying you've had a hard time understanding it. I can't get much more honest than this. I have before me two men. One vowed to love me forever and strayed to someone I considered to be a best friend. The second was a best friend that I began to have feelings for. Had I been smart I never would have shared those feelings. I would have buried them and kept him as a friend. As I stand here at the crossroads of my life I realize I can not end up with either one and my heart lays in pieces shattered on the ground. I would rather die than have to live through this pain that I have to deal with every day. You have someone to hold you at night, to kiss you, to appreciate you, to make love to you. Even if these are things you would do with me these are things you do with another woman as well. I can't and don't blame you for that. I spend most of my nights alone staring at walls, thinking, crying. How did my life end up this way? Why did it end up this way? Why for once can I not just be happy?
I don't know what to do. Your gonna read this and tell me that you will give me space and deep down I know that's not what I want. I don't know how to fix this. I don't know how to not sit here every night and not be in agony wondering what I am soldiering on for. All the fancy letters behind my name won't mean crap if I don't have love. If I don't have a husband and kids to share it with. These are my dreams and I just keep watching them slip away. All the accomplishments in the world can't fill the void love leaves behind.
So what do I do? What do I do when every fiber of my being wants you and knows it will never have you? I hope that you will hold to your word and that I will hear from you tomorrow evening. I am sorry for this but if you understood my loneliness and tears perhaps this would make more sense to you.
All My Love ALWAYS,
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posted: 08/03/12 at 11:57 PM
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This man is a band-aid on your wound. You are using each other as crutches in your difficult time. If you both ended up together it would probably not hold up for long. He came into your life in a very vulnerable time, it happened to be him, could have been a co-worker, a neighbor, a stranger at the grocery store.
As long as you stay in your unhappy marriage you will need this other man for emotional support. It's a vicious circle. You need him because you're unhappy but as long as you have him you won't move forward with fixing your marriage or move along with life.
I think your next step is to move out of your home. You did not mention any children so pack up and go spend some time on your own, concentrate on your work, family, friends, concentrate on yourself and reflect on what YOU want. Life is much more than having a man in our life, especially a cheating man, or a married man for that matter.
Both of them have nothing good to offer you. You are young, smart, articulate, you can rebuild your life with someone worthy of your love.
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posted: 08/04/12 at 2:42 AM
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I have afew questions to ask before I offer my advise.
1) How long have you been married? Any kids?
2) Is this the first time your husband stray?how did you find out?
3) Are you still on couselling?
More infos will be good for others to offer their advise and opinions.
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"Always BE YOURSELF! No matter what People Think..An Original Is Always Worth MORE Than A COPY! Speak Your Mind and Be Honest! That Is A Good Recipe Of Self-Respect, Self-Love And Self-Worth."
"Double-Standards Are Lies, Hypocrites And Contradictions. Live By What You Preach!!!" 
"Don't Waste Your Time On Revenge, Those Who Hurt You Will Eventually Face Their Own Karma Because What Goes Around, Comes Around And Karma Has NO Dateline.Life Is Too SHORT To Waste Time On Stupid People,Bullies,Haters and Whiners..Don't Ever Let Anyone Bring You Down When You Know You Are Better and Wiser.Be Someone With RESPECT, Good Attitude, Style And Class!" ~WildSnake~
"The Smiles From My Children Reminds Me How Wonderful And Rewarding Motherhood Is. You Can Never Fully Understand The Beauty, The Power Of Motherhood And The JOY Of A Mother Unless You Are One!" 
"There May Be Many Flowers In A Man's Life, But There is Only ONE Rose In His Heart." 
"I love seeing old married couples, it makes me realize that someone can actually LOVE ONE person Faithfully In A Lifetime!..It's BLISSFUL that my hubby is All MINE and the ONLY woman he Loves!" 
"Haters Gonna' Hate! I Laugh Cuz You FAKE! Go And HATE All You Want, Know I'm Something That You Ain't !!!" ~Hon Raps~
"Be A Light, Not A Judge.Be A Model, Not A Critic! I Do Not Judge People By The Scriptures Of Their Faith And The Scars From Their Past, I Embrace Them By The Contents Of Their HEARTS And KINDNESS." 
***  Read My Blogs On Profile ***
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posted: 08/04/12 at 5:50 AM
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All of this is stemming from the fear of being alone, feeling unloved and unwanted. You have to eventually come to terms with the decision to get out of this. Your boyfriend can only do what he knows how to do, which is to continue seeing you until you dont want to see him anymore. If you know he wont leave his wife, the other option is clearly to break it off with him, divorce your husband properly and start over. Its horribly difficult, but if you dont change your pattern, you will only be self-inflicting your suffering. The road to recover will be long, painful and hard, but it is worth it.
Every second is a chance to turn your life around. The precious life you have, you want to give in a way that makes you happy and makes others around you happy. You are doing no one favors when you are feeling miserable. Trust me that you are not the only one suffering. Everyone in this equation is suffering in some way because they are all living the lives they dont want. Your husband is trying to work out his marriage with a wife that no longer is happy with him, nor trusts him. Your boyfriend is living a double life, probably guilt ridden he is hurting you and hurting his wife in secret. This is very poisonous for all parties involved. You do no favors to anyone when you are not truly happy in a relationship, dont stay for the "possibilities." Only stay for the hard facts and the hard facts lead to the very strong knowledge you already possess: This is not going to work out.
You got to take care of who you are, a wonderful, beautiful woman that deserves to have a partner she can trust, love and that will not take her for granted. Neither of these situations is giving you those feelings, are they? Boyfriend can only be "part time wonderful" and you know part time is not good enough. A man's walk is always stronger than his talk. If he can't walk the walk, you should think he isn't worthy of you. You are in a vulnerable position where you feel unworthy of anything, but there is no reason to. Two men in this world do not make up the whole lot of billions of men that have potential to give you what you want.
This is a lose lose situation. I think you are frozen due to the fact that you have no where else to go from here. The road is at a fork and you now have to choose the bad [stay miserable] or the scary path [forge a path to recovery and self-discovery...by yourself]. I know being alone is not an option for you right now, but honestly, what is the difference? You ARE alone. You living in another house, or you living with your husband. Is there any less pain? Is the fakeness of a kiss and a hug really saving anything that is already broken inside of you? Its only reminding you what you don't have. And honestly, do you want to be with a man that you are begging and pleading for him to leave his wife so you can feel good about yourself? Isnt it depressing enough that you are in the same situation with him as your husband, except you are on the other side of the equation?? Why accept a man that is willing to cheat on his wife for you? If he did it to her, he will do it to you which brings you back to square one of your problem. There are so many other available men that won't have this problem. You should also consider, even if hypothetically you get what you want, can you honestly recover from all of the hurt you are going through now? Can you trust a guy that did the same thing to his exwife that your husband did to you? This "great love" escapade is no different then your husbands cheating. The root is still dishonesty in the core.
Until you break away from both situations, you can not possibly think clearly about either. Could you move back home? Where is your family and friends in all of this? The only way you can break this pattern is if you had a good support structure that will suffice as your loving unit until you become confident in being single and who you are as a person. I can tell you are so underconfident at this moment about making it by yourself and you have no idea who you are anymore. You lost all sense of self and balanced principle.
When you are ready to cut ties. I challenge you to find ways of looking at this in a different light. Instead of thinking this is the ending of a great love, think of it as a beginning of a new life where you are free from pain and sorrow.
Then you must try to lose contact as quickly as possible and write a letter to yourself about all the reasons why you are moving on. Then read this letter each time you feel weak and it will help remind you why you are moving on from this position in your life.
Then cry. Cry as much as you want, eat ice cream, and allow yourself to feel that cleansing tears as you shed these feelings away bit by bit.
As hard as this is to follow, it is the gateway to a better, happier and more positive life. Until you are ready to take the first steps to remove the chains that hold you down and keep your life at a stand still, your life will continue being terrible. Because in some bizarre way, you stay because you get something out of this for you. Removing yourself will be very difficult, but you can do it and with patience and time, you will feel better once more.
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When I am at work, its like I am Iron Man...I feel invincible when I don the armor of success....
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posted: 08/04/12 at 7:57 AM
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I just take alook at your post on 'ask a male'..so you have been married for about 7years.
But I don't understand why would you still stay on in a marriage when you said you lost all feelings for your husband..Is there other reasons? I assumed you guys are trying to work things out to save your marriage by attending counseling as you stated in your post.
Imo..being involved with a married man will not do any good for the relationship bcuz it will create more problems sooner..He is cheating on his wife and may possible cheat on you someday AND what if his wife found out about the affair?..OP, you should know how you feel when your husband strayed/ cheated on you then why would you want to hurt another innocent person (his wife).Imho..if that guy really loves you, he will leave his wife to be with you and not make you his secret lover.
So I would advise you NOT to carry on this mistake..you know clearly that you don't want to be his mistress and he will never leave his wife so why get involved in a relationship when he cannot offer you what you want..You are getting into another mess when you should be fixing your marriage problems first.
If you have tried and cannot save your marriage after counselling..then leave when you are truly unhappy with your husband, it is pointless and miserable to stay on in a marriage when there is no love.
This is my personal views and opinions for now but I don't want to make any wrong assumption..I will add more if I see more updates/infos from you.
EDIT for typo.
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"Always BE YOURSELF! No matter what People Think..An Original Is Always Worth MORE Than A COPY! Speak Your Mind and Be Honest! That Is A Good Recipe Of Self-Respect, Self-Love And Self-Worth."
"Double-Standards Are Lies, Hypocrites And Contradictions. Live By What You Preach!!!"
"Don't Waste Your Time On Revenge, Those Who Hurt You Will Eventually Face Their Own Karma Because What Goes Around, Comes Around And Karma Has NO Dateline.Life Is Too SHORT To Waste Time On Stupid People,Bullies,Haters and Whiners..Don't Ever Let Anyone Bring You Down When You Know You Are Better and Wiser.Be Someone With RESPECT, Good Attitude, Style And Class!"~WildSnake~
"The Smiles From My Children Reminds Me How Wonderful And Rewarding Motherhood Is. You Can Never Fully Understand The Beauty, The Power Of Motherhood And The JOY Of A Mother Unless You Are One!"
"There May Be Many Flowers In A Man's Life, But There is Only ONE Rose In His Heart."
"I love seeing old married couples, it makes me realize that someone can actually LOVE ONE person Faithfully In A Lifetime!..It's BLISSFUL that my hubby is All MINE and the ONLY woman he Loves!"
"Haters Gonna' Hate! I Laugh Cuz You FAKE! Go And HATE All You Want, Know I'm Something That You Ain't !!!"~Hon Raps~
"Be A Light, Not A Judge.Be A Model, Not A Critic! I Do Not Judge People By The Scriptures Of Their Faith And The Scars From Their Past, I Embrace Them By The Contents Of Their HEARTS And KINDNESS."
*** Read My Blogs On Profile ***
Last edited by wildsnake88 on 08/04/12 at 8:13 AM
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posted: 08/04/12 at 4:10 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by wildsnake88
I have afew questions to ask before I offer my advise.
1) How long have you been married? Any kids?
2) Is this the first time your husband stray?how did you find out?
3) Are you still on couselling?
More infos will be good for others to offer their advise and opinions.
1) My husband and I have been married for almost 7 years together for almost 11 years. We don't have any kids due to issues with infertility with me a few years back to which he put the kabosh on kids when we were told IVF was our only option ~~he doesn't believe in it and I still have a very strong desire to be a mother!
2) This is the first time I know of that he has strayed however many women have been coming to him over the last year or two seeking out "counseling" for their failing marriages or relationships and he doesn't see the problem with it. Yes I am aware that this is pot calling kettle black syndrome as this is more or less happened here however my relationship has not been physical like his. He was actively going out meeting this girl places and going over to her house and never once did he tell me about it. My husband is well aware that I talk to this gentleman and that he has become my confidante, he is just unaware of my feelings for him.
As far as how I found out, he came to me one day and told me he had fallen out of love me. Just like that. I was absolutely devastated. Without cause all of a sudden my husband was making plans to divorce me because he didn't feel anything for me anymore. Knowing him as I do, this is very off the wall behavior. I did what I could to figure things out. One day he made a fatal error by leaving his facebook open on the home computer. I had originally gone on there to print something off for school but I now had the opportunity to see just what I needed. It was all there in black and white. He discussed it with 3 friends and there was conversation with her as well. She told him how to go about the divorce. They talked about how surprised I would be when I found out he would keep the house. They were planning it all, and I knew none of it. I was devastated. She was a best friend. This girl stood up in my wedding and I almost asked her to be my MOH. She had apparently had a thing for my husband for quite some time as I later found out from her ex-boyfriend. Yes, she was seeking out my husband while she was still with him.
3)Yes we are still in counseling and I know it is not fair to be dragging him through counseling if in my heart I feel it is already over but I guess maybe part of me is hoping for a revelation that will change things for us. Do I really want to throw 11 years of my life away? No. But I also know I deserve more than I'm getting. Maybe I'm holding out the small hope that this counselor can finally break through to him in a way that I never could. The only reason I lost love for him is because of the disappointment and the factors of life. I know these things happen in a marriage. I know the counselor isn't a miracle worker but we have made slight progress. I guess to say I don't have feelings for my husband would be a lie but I just haven't figured out if the amount of pain subjected in the relationship is worth the little good that I still get from it. I need to figure out if my tears are because I'm afraid to fail or because I love him still and just won't let my heart know it.
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posted: 08/04/12 at 4:42 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by fair_is_fair
This is a lose lose situation. Isnt it depressing enough that you are in the same situation with him as your husband, except you are on the other side of the equation?? Why accept a man that is willing to cheat on his wife for you? If he did it to her, he will do it to you which brings you back to square one of your problem. There are so many other available men that won't have this problem. You should also consider, even if hypothetically you get what you want, can you honestly recover from all of the hurt you are going through now? Can you trust a guy that did the same thing to his exwife that your husband did to you? This "great love" escapade is no different then your husbands cheating. The root is still dishonesty in the core.
Until you break away from both situations, you can not possibly think clearly about either. Could you move back home? Where is your family and friends in all of this? The only way you can break this pattern is if you had a good support structure that will suffice as your loving unit until you become confident in being single and who you are as a person. I can tell you are so underconfident at this moment about making it by yourself and you have no idea who you are anymore. You lost all sense of self and balanced principle.
I have definitely thought long and hard about that very thing. It kills me to think that I am doing the very same thing to another woman that was done to me. I have tried to put these feelings to bed. Then I guess I just get selfish and say to hell with it. Even if it's only for a moment I'm gonna get something out of this because I deserve to be happy even if it's only for a moment. No one has to know. Sure someone could find out, but no one may find out either. I realize how screwed up my logic is. I realize continuing this is only gonna hurt worse in the end. He won't let me let him go. When I talked to him last night he acknowledged the letter and said I know how you feel sometimes and there is no need for you to apologize. Again throughout the conversation which lasted over 2 hours he dropped more I love yous as I tried to keep myself from getting tied up in this. I know the reality of the situation. I can tell it to myself over and over again. My husband makes me miserable. He makes me happy. If he left his wife and came to me I would worry he would do the same thing to me despite the fact he's never done this before as he's told me before. I told him I haven't either and that IS the truth. A side note that is of interest in all this is that he admitted to me shortly after his feelings came out to me (his feelings came first not that it matters just for the record) that when he had first met me six years ago that he had a crush on me but never said anything. I would have already been married but I had no clue. My relations with him have always been with my husband so I can see why he never would have said anything back then.
As far as staying with family to start over, that is an impossibility. I graduate with my degree in December and am not willing to jeopardize what I have at this point. Family is 4 hours away and there is no way for them to fix this. My mom has offered emotional support from afar and she apologizes every time we speak for not being able to be here in person. As much as I don't want to drag out my marriage, I need my husband for the financial support to get through until graduation and then I can make my move on. I would be paralyzed if I tried to do it right now.
One more thing for you guys to analyze. Occasionally when my friend will tell me he loves me he will say my full name afterwards. He refuses to use my married name though and will always refer to my maiden name. Is this his way of trying to draw away from the fact I'm a married woman to make himself feel better about things? Can anyone see into his psyche on this one?
Ultimately what I can tell all of you is this. I know deep down each of these relationships is doomed to fail. I've never been in a relationship without a cheater. The idea of starting over is not something I look forward to and to be honest when this all blows up I would rather go back to focusing on my career like I had before I met my husband than try for love again. It's just not worth all this anymore!
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posted: 08/04/12 at 4:50 PM
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Oh boy, I somewhat know how you are feeling. When I was with my ex bf, he treated me badly. He was verbally abusive and told me I was nothing, would never be anything, I need him on my life, I'll never find someone to love me, I'm fat.( which I'm not), I'm ugly, yada yada yada... In reality, he knew i.could leave him and he did and said whatever it took for us to stay together. We were together for 7 years before I left him...
At one point in our relationship I was so down, I will make no excuses for what I did, I feel beyond horrible. I was working and he was at home going to school, at work there was a man who sat in the cubicle in front of me, he was a gorgeous ex marine, I was 21 and he was 27, his wife also worked with us..... One day I left my phone charger at work so, I called the office and out of 300 employees I got his extension and asked that he put the charger in my drawer, there were theifs there. The next day is when he started textting me, throwing notes on my desk and we decided to meet a couple times while his wife was at school. We never had sex but, we kissed and touched. We both talked about leaving our relationships and moving away together, that obviously never happened. One day I sent a text message to my best friend, talking about how my boyfriends best friend who sat behind me was catching onto what I was doing... Silly me I sent it to his bf instead of mine. That was the first time we almost got caught. He showed the message to his wife and I said it was about smoking that I was smoking and he was catching on....
We decided to end things. Now 3 years later, his wife found out through a co worker and, they are now divorced, because of me. The reqason I say this is so you know how horrible it feels when you know youcaused it...... I felt like a terrible person when I found out about the divorce and that sure knew it was me. I wa using him as, an emotional crutch. Btw I do not believe that once a cheater always a cheater, I cheated on my ex a few times, I hated him, I didn't feel bad about it but, I would never chest on my fiancé, ever..... People don't cheat on people they truly love.... Right now, I think your not ready to leave him and that'd why your still going through steps to recover the marriage. Sometimes, people get over it and it works but it seems like your wants are different then his....,
Wether your with him or alone trust me when I say with time it gets easier. You will be ok and you will find someone who treats you well. I did not leave my ex until I met my fiance, I was scared of being alone so I stuck around... I had other chances to leave and be with other ppl but, I didn't until I met my fiance and I will be with him for the rest of my life. So me sitting here telling you to leave is hhypocritical because I was never able to because I knew id come right back. When I left he begged and pleaded and cried but, I was in love at first sight , I knew I wanted a future with my fiance and he kept me strong and away from my ex abd taught me how to love again. I coukdnt be alone I wouldn't have left. Best of luck to you. Just sharing my story since it may help you in some way
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Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
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posted: 08/04/12 at 5:23 PM
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SuzyBoo your story actually brought tears to my eyes as in a way I feel like you have lived my story. I have never had confidence in myself. My husband is very verbally abusive and while he has never hit me there are times he's thrown things at me. I have always worried that some day he would life a hand to me. He has a very bad temper. My problem is I always worry about how everyone else will feel and never about my own feelings in the end. I worry how badly this may crush my husband to leave. I worry if I were to leave my friend what would it do to him? I don't want to hurt anyone but I know it's far too late for that. I obviously don't want to hurt her. I know what the pain feels like and it's horrible. I don't want to walk around with that stigma and I thank you for being brave enough to share your story with me.
When I say I am confused it truly is an understatement. I spend my nights crying myself to sleep. Luckily my job puts me on call away from home so I am rarely home to ever sleep with my husband so he has no idea all the tears I have been shedding.
9 years ago before we were even married or engaged we up and moved 4 hours away from my family. It was a huge step for me. Now I sit here and 9 years later he wants to make a decision to move for a job again. While we don't know for sure if he'll get it or not, he has planned out everything to benefit him as far as where we will live making no consideration to my future. Once again my career goals and me are an after thought.
When I look at that and someone who just can't agree to having a child with me in the only way I can have it along with the continual verbal abuse, regardless of the love left in my heart I just can't help but believe that this marriage is broke beyond repair. I hate that I will fail and disappoint my parents. I planned on forever, I didn't plan on this!
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posted: 08/04/12 at 7:11 PM
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Thanks for the updates and infos.
I think if you and your husband is still going for counselling together..I think there is still some hope to salvage your marriage..indeed, 11years is not a short period so I can see it's not easy for anyone to give up a relationship this long.
But ultimately..you still have to make a decision, what if things didn't improve after all the counselling, then what's your next plan? Personally, if it didn't work out in the end and there is no improvement in your marriage, then I think its time to leave.
Personally, I would choose to end an unhappy marriage than holding on bcos I think being miserable and unhappy is much much worst than being single and alone.I understand no one likes to feel lonely but your loneliness may just be temperory as you could meet someone better, find a new love and start a new life again but if you choose and continue to stay in an unhappy marriage..that is truly wasting your life away imo.
As for that guy, I wouldn't carry on with him..yes, no one needs to know and no one would know about the affair but what about your guilt? or your morals? Bcos no matter how you see it, the fact is that you are sleeping with someone's husband if you allow the affair to progress, can you live with the guilt that *if* by chance his wife find out about the affair and you become the one who break up a family?
I would try to put out the fire (marriage) first instead of creating another fire(affair) your situation is complicated enough and you don't need an affair to make it worst.
When you start an affair, you are stepping into a failed relationship bcos its only a matter of time you will get hurt again.I would rather stay single for awhile than to be with a dishonest man who cheats his wife.
Think OP, is this the type of man you deserve? Will you really be happy being his mistress? how long will this feeling last? don't fall in deeper when you still have the chance to walk away from the affair now..
Well, I don't have the best advise for you and I don't have any experience to share but this is my thoughts and opinions on this thread.I sincerely hope the marriage counselling works for you and your husband.
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