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How far would you go? posted: 07/27/12 at 1:48 AM
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How would you feel if a man you were casually having sex with (after 6 months) asked you to have a threesome, make a sex tape, and ask to nut in you (cum inside)? Or men have you ever requested such a thing from a casual sex partner?
Im sure this is not the norm. Im also sure there are also some feelings behind this as well because this same guy has called me at midnight only to hang up 20 seconds later (im guessing to see if another man was at my house.)
Have you asked or been asked these things or anything stranger?
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A man is only going to treat you with the respect you demand-- not deserve!
Last edited by starlight_20 on 07/28/12 at 2:17 AM
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posted: 07/27/12 at 3:43 AM
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You shouldn't read too much into him calling you and hanging up. What if he accidentally dialed the wrong number? Generally speaking, when a guy says, "this is casual sex" you should believe him. If you are beginning to catch feelings for him, you need to STOP and let him know things have changed for you. You'll only get hurt if you make assumptions without actually talking to him.
He asked you because he wants to do this with you and wants to know where you stand. Asking for a sex tape or a threesome is the realm of the sexually adventurous. The timing to ask a partner to engage in such adventurous activities varies wildly, depending on how experienced they are and how comfortable they are expressing their fantasies. Actually, I discuss such things fairly soon, because I'm quite open about my sexual adventures. I want to be sure the person I'm dating is on the same page sexually as I am. Maybe he is the same.
I wouldn't make a sex tape with someone unless I knew them very, very well and we were in a serious LTR. I'd also want it erased after we enjoyed watching it together. Keep posseson yourself so you know no copies were made.
As for threesomes, you have to decide for yourself whether you can handle it. If you like this guy, and would be jealous, I don't recommend it.
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Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another
~My opinions change with new information.~
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posted: 07/27/12 at 4:08 AM
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Blond I know for a fact he was trying to reach me. I just hate the games. But again that is another story. Me and this guy haven't had sex in two months. Of course he is just trying to get back in good. I have explained what I want and now I have decided to date other people.
However this hasn't stopped us from talking every once in a while because we enjoy having sex with one another. The sex tape is out of the question; although I have dabbled with it before. The threesome wouldn't be an issue because I want to see him with someone else sexually just without the kissing.
I see it for what it is. Casual sex. I do care about him that can't be denied but I have told him I will continue to date other people. Simple as that. I just wasn't sure if this is what people generally do outside of a non committed relationship.
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A man is only going to treat you with the respect you demand-- not deserve!
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posted: 07/27/12 at 4:18 AM
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Thanks for clarifying. I understand your question better.
And well, yes- people do these things both in committed relationships and in casual ones. I have done threesomes both with guys I'm dating as well as with casual sex friends.
LOL... a guy once asked me to do a threesome right after our first date! He even had a couple lined up. Since we hadn't even discussed anything about it, I felt it crossed a boundary and told him so. Needless to say, that was a huge turnoff and made me question his ethics. I let him buy me dinner as an apology, but that was it.
These days I'm not into casual flings or sex friend situations, but would consider it with my bf if the right person came along.
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Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another
~My opinions change with new information.~
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posted: 07/27/12 at 10:27 AM
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Well, I don't do casual sex. Not my thing. But here's my view on the things you've asked:
- Make a sex tape. I would strongly advise against this, unless you could somehow make one that avoided showing your face or any identifying features. What happens if it appears publically at some point in the future - people have lost their jobs etc. over that. I'd think very carefully about the possible consequences before going ahead with that.
- 'ask to nut in you' I'm not familiar with this term. Do you mean he's asled to come inside you without a condom? If so, the questions you need to ask yourself are: are you both STD-free? Are you certain that he's not having unprotected sex with anyone else? Are you using another form of birth control? What would happen if that failed and you ended up pregnant anyway? Personally I wouldn't advise this in a casual relationship - not if there's any possibility that he's sleeping with others too - but different people have different levels of comfort.
- A threesome. If you really are interested in it, this might be the one to go for. In some ways I think this is better done in a casual relationship than in a serious long term relationship because there's less chance there will be any damage caused by regrets afterwards.
Just don't feel pressured into anything that might cause you harm in the long run.
Anyway, just my thoughts on it.
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"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone."
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posted: 07/27/12 at 12:25 PM
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Thanks for your advice everyone. And broken.. yes he wanted to cum inside of me. At this point I don't know when we will have sex again. When he decides to be more forthcoming and more mature about his decisions- then yes.
I only considered the sex tape without my face showing and I had to keep all of the evidence. But since camcorders are made without tapes these days, I'm not so sure about making one. As far as his sexual partners he has finally let me know that he has had sex with a condom ( I don't fully believe the whole story). And I let him know I had sex with someone while using protection. I like him enough to try these things but I would feel better doing it in ltr.
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A man is only going to treat you with the respect you demand-- not deserve!
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Re: How far would you go? posted: 07/27/12 at 1:42 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by starlight_20
How would you feel if a man you were casually having sex with (after 6 months) asked you to have a threesome, make a sex tape, and ask to nut in you? Or men have you ever requested such a thing from a casual sex partner?
Im sure this is not the norm. Im also sure there are also some feelings behind this as well because this same guy has called me at midnight only to hang up 20 seconds later (im guessing to see if another man was at my house.)
Have you asked or been asked these things or anything stranger?
Threesome: I think every man I have dated have come up with that question as soon as we got intimate. I would not read anything positive or negative into it, I would offer an honest answer to his offer.
Sex Tape: There are a couple of dirty pictures and a solo sexy tape I have done for one man. We were in a relationsnip at the time. I don't think I would go through the trouble of doing that for a FWB. I see this more as something to enjoy for an official couple.
Nut in me: Took me a while to figure that one out..lol. He could 'nut' in me all he wants after I see his std-free report. Do NOT beleive someone when they say they've always used condoms, don't beleive condoms protects you from all stds, don't think because they're coming out of a long term relationshi they're std free, trust me, I have learn that one the hard way, I am now living with H.
To summerized, yes I've been asked these things by FWB and by partners. It had nothing to do with how we felt for each other. It was simply sex related.
I don't know why you think that if a man calls 20 seconds and hangs up it means he has some feelings for you. If he did have feelings for you he would not let go by 2 months without touching you.
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Re: How far would you go? posted: 07/27/12 at 1:56 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by starlight_20
Have you asked or been asked these things or anything stranger?
This one fwb guy asked me to put on a lot of makeup. I don't know how to put make-up on..lol, all my life I only wore mascara and lipsticks but I gave it a try.
First time he told me he’d liked more of it, second time he said he’d liked MUCH more of it! Finally he told me what he liked was those big black raccoon eyes!
I asked if he could ask me something simpler like buy a whip or put on a strap-on or something!!
I told him ‘no make-up’ take it or leave it. It did not go against any morals, it was just freakin annoying to me.
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posted: 07/27/12 at 3:22 PM
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Gail, you are right. In these two months he has tried his hardest to see me. He went from trying to see me once a week.. to asking every other day. I always turn him down. He contacts me everyday as well. He calls a little bit more now and has even come by for a minute to talk when I told him to kick rocks (he didnt try to have sex; just kissed me and left). I did go and see him one night but we didnt have sex.. I wanted to but then I saw an earring on his dresser and left. He stated his daughter who happen to be in town was playing dress up and it was his mothers (who he lives with). But I didnt totally believe him.
I normally get mad at him for something and I wont talk to him for days. Just last night he asked me what did I was doing this weekend. I told him I had plans and if he wanted to hang out ask me in advance.
Im trying to re train him on how to teach me. Its really partially my fault. But yes.. now that Im not available he is trying to be on me like white on rice. He asked me to hang out 3x this week but again all at the last minute.
And Gail.. Im going to get my yearly next week. Just to make sure everything is ok.
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A man is only going to treat you with the respect you demand-- not deserve!
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