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posted: 07/26/12 at 4:25 PM
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Wildsnake: That is a good question. I think I will ask him why he did not show that side of him earlier. He has been very slow to open himself on many aspects maybe that is just part of it as well. I know some of it is cultural but I've been hit on my fingers more than once on here for using 'cultural differences' as an excuse.
When I said I would keep my profile up I did for a month maybe longer. I met 3 men in that month, the cheap ice-cream guy, the way-too-enthusiastic guy from last weekend, and the handsome nerd. The handsome nerd texted me Tuesday night at 19h30 with: Feel like going out?!! - Really?? I did not hear from him for a few days and I get this Tuesday night last minute offer to go out, did not even ask if I was home, or free, or tired. Fvck this! I've never replied. I deleted my profile because I don't feel like playing the field anymore.
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posted: 07/26/12 at 10:32 PM
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I am unsure what to think about the comments he is making Gail. Does he know you are not dating other guys now- At first I was thinking maybe he is doing it as a way of "keeping up with" or equal to you if he thought you were dating other guys.
Another alternative is that he is trying to be totally honest and open with you, perhaps so he cannot be accused later on of hurting you etc etc.
My instinct would be to speak to him about these comments, when he makes one, but try to do so casually. (However, I am a very jealous person by nature.)
I do think though that it is possible he may be looking for a slight sign of jealousy from you- perhaps as evidence that you really do love him, not just say it. So I do think it would be a mistake to just let it go entirely.
You are a smart woman and you know Will better than we do - think about how to say to him how you feel about this and what worries you about it without hassling him or being aggressive- make sure an indication of your affection and attraction to him is demonstrated in what you say/do.
His ex being too ljealous does not mean that he does not think some jealousy is normal...- it may be that she was extreme. Also, your feelings are valid and legitimate and have reality that needs to be a part of the relationship, regardless of his ex etc- don't adjust or pretend about what is real for a man, just how you say/do or communicate things- communication is important, and getting it right is important to any relationship flourishing..
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posted: 07/26/12 at 10:50 PM
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I think the cultural aspect was always there and the POF was there from the beginning. And after Gail met Will they didn't or weren't out together a lot (am I right in that?) and when he was, he probably behaved for some reason but the parallel to his 'looking' on POF is the same in a way- He knows Gail knows- and now ths new thing in person, seeing him comment on other women. I think as this hasn't shown before- not sure if it isn't because they haven't been out together before or very often or he was preoccupied. Who knows, it could have been too cold, so people are fully clothed and hurrying by- different in summer, when people are wearing less and are sauntering and people watching- lingering at cafes and it lends itself to the whole scene.
So taken out of context, he may always have been this way but the climate or opportuninity may not have allowed Gail to see this behaviour.
But I still think he is trying to create some distance for something else about to happen- it could have been triggered by her telling him she is in love with hm- It could just be he is letting her know to not brand him as hers....not yet.
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posted: 07/27/12 at 12:46 AM
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I don't think his 'new' behavior is relate to the climate changes..well, it may be possible but quite unlikely imho.
Anyway, that's NOT my point here, I think you didn't see what I am trying to hightlight to Gail here..
As I have already said in my posts..the issue here is not really about looking/admiring women or his remarks on random women or the lack of compliments etc..I know Gail can still deal with that as we know.
The BIGGEST issue here I SEE is the way he treats her..let me ask you this. If you know your partner is upset or unhappy with your remarks..do you still continue to upset/piss her further? Seriously..for what?.He could jolly well shut the f@@k up if he cares abit about her feelings.Gail may not be the jealous type but to most women..it still feels good to hear compliments from our guy once awhile? Right ladies?
He is generous to compliment a total stranger but not to Gail??..alright, in japanese culture, it could be..but Will is not a japanese..lol..yeah, japanese men don't compliment their women, some have huge ego issue and think its weird to compliment his partner..my ex-bf is a jap-mixed so its true I would say.
However, what I see here from Will is..oh honey..if my remarks/behavior makes you feel jealous or upset...its just too bad,there's nothing I can do..blahhh, Of course he can do something!!..bcos surely he doesn't need to keep commenting about random women knowing that this upset her.
Anyway..I really think nothing he do will really pissed Gail, she will always take him back no matter what happens..I lost count how many times that happened in the past 9mths of dating for them.
Just for the way he treats her and other threads about Will is already 'sayonara' for me long time ago.
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"Always BE YOURSELF! No matter what People Think..An Original Is Always Worth MORE Than A COPY! Speak Your Mind and Be Honest! That Is A Good Recipe Of Self-Respect, Self-Love And Self-Worth."
"Double-Standards Are Lies, Hypocrites And Contradictions. Live By What You Preach!!!" 
"Don't Waste Your Time On Revenge, Those Who Hurt You Will Eventually Face Their Own Karma Because What Goes Around, Comes Around And Karma Has NO Dateline.Life Is Too SHORT To Waste Time On Stupid People,Bullies,Haters and Whiners..Don't Ever Let Anyone Bring You Down When You Know You Are Better and Wiser.Be Someone With RESPECT, Good Attitude, Style And Class!" ~WildSnake~
"The Smiles From My Children Reminds Me How Wonderful And Rewarding Motherhood Is. You Can Never Fully Understand The Beauty, The Power Of Motherhood And The JOY Of A Mother Unless You Are One!" 
"There May Be Many Flowers In A Man's Life, But There is Only ONE Rose In His Heart." 
"I love seeing old married couples, it makes me realize that someone can actually LOVE ONE person Faithfully In A Lifetime!..It's BLISSFUL that my hubby is All MINE and the ONLY woman he Loves!" 
"Haters Gonna' Hate! I Laugh Cuz You FAKE! Go And HATE All You Want, Know I'm Something That You Ain't !!!" ~Hon Raps~
"Be A Light, Not A Judge.Be A Model, Not A Critic! I Do Not Judge People By The Scriptures Of Their Faith And The Scars From Their Past, I Embrace Them By The Contents Of Their HEARTS And KINDNESS." 
***  Read My Blogs On Profile ***
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posted: 07/27/12 at 1:31 AM
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Seriously, why go through so much trouble to find out WTF he's doing or saying. Why he throws you out of the loop suddenly time and again and you STILL accept it. You tip toe around him to make him comfortable and putting up with his crap.
HE is a MAN!!! Not a little child that one little wrong thing he'll be hysterical. You know what, if he's so damn afraid by women then he shouldn't be dealing with them. He's sneaky, and what he's doing is very manipulative. Suddenly he comes on so strong by making comments constantly about random women, and says if you don't like it, it's your problem. He's a tactless, disrespectful jerk, and believe me if he told me that, the coffee would be in his face.
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posted: 07/27/12 at 1:32 AM
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Thank you girls!
Well, here's the thing, when it happened I rolled my eyes at him, I thought it was tasteless but I am not hurt or upset in anyway by these comments. Actually the first time this happened I let my pride lead me and I told him: Honey! You go ahead and look ALL you want! I don't mind at all (lol)
Jen, I don't think it's weather related because here it's been hot since May.
So I did ask him why I had not seen this side of him before. He said he did not know, it just did not come up before and to not analyze it, there is nothing to it. I added: ' you know it's fun to look at sweet things but it's bad for you to eat them' . He replied yes he knew, and he doesn't want to deal with the consequences of eating sweets...........Can you believe that was our big talk about fidelity?? LOL
I don't think he's trying to create a distance. He picked me up early at the office, we did all our errands together, we watched a show on tv, had something to eat and 45 minutes after he was back home he was calling to say hi.
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posted: 07/27/12 at 2:57 AM
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Hell yes it's seasonsal!! Duh....summer means mini skirts, bare legs, and my fave, CLEAVAGE!! 
Sounds like a normal guy to me. Since it doesn't bother you, I think you should just relax and go with the flow.
If it IS a "test", I think you passed and he'll relax.
Enjoy him for who he is, have no expectations he'll change, and you'll be ok.
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Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another
~My opinions change with new information.~
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posted: 07/27/12 at 3:04 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by baby07
You know what, if he's so damn afraid by women then he shouldn't be dealing with them.
Pot, kettle, black. You need to settle your own issues before going off on anyone else about theirs.
And if Gail doesn't find it disrespectful, where's the problem? My bf and I check out men and women together all the time, and it's fun.
Actually, you ALL need to lighten up a bit here. Everyone's boundaries are different, and it's nonsensical to tell Gail she should be upset when she isn't.
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Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another
~My opinions change with new information.~
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posted: 07/27/12 at 3:51 AM
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[[He's a tactless, disrespectful jerk, and believe me if he told me that, the coffee would be in his face.]]
I don't agree baby. This sounds SO full of anger and bitterness over every lost and fed up experience YOU have had poured out onto Will. Yes, he's got his flaws and imperfections, but it has nothing to do with gender. Look in the mirror. And for the comments? Gail and he have already reached a comfort zone for dealing with it. They can only be processed thoroughly a few times-after that, it's all kind of like stale coffee. Loses it's taste.
Gail: Will makes you happy. I never hear thet in posts of these other oddballs *shakes head at text in the evening* Your heart is with Will and regardless what the women say, I vote for giving him as much a chance as you think he's worth. After all. He is choosing to be with You
Blessings,
Poetman
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Rodger Swan 12/19/1986-1/26/2010 Gone too soon, remembered forever. R.I.P my friend.
You have everything that I have to give; it is the only way that Love truly exists. You and I are each One, and we are both One~E
I cannot be accurately judged by the meat and bone wrapped around me - its features were not my choice.~E
I Love you. Love Me as I Love you, you are Me. you are not me; only here are we we, separate rather than Me, One.~E
Last edited by Poetman on 07/27/12 at 6:21 PM
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posted: 07/27/12 at 4:13 AM
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Errr..actually only Gail knows how she REALLY feel, not you, not me nor anyone else but quite frankly, I'm puzzled and I just don't quite understand why would anyone start a thread if she didn't feel bothered AT ALL about the whole thing,really?lol. if she is truly perfectly happy and ok with the remark thing ,why would she post this.? For what purpose?..that doesn't sound right to me..or Perhaps it's pretty much the same pattern in Gail's threads..I guess its nothing new for this one too..
But somehow I always feel that after we commented, she will 'defend' him and cover up for him just about anything..lol..oh, and no need to agree on that but that's what I strongly feel PERSONALLY in all her threads and I think everyone is free to share their different views and thoughts on any threads.No comments is nonsense,stupid or strange if you respect everyone's views equally..likewise, I wouldnt call any views nonsense too when I disagree. I DO think Gail
is open to hear what we feel/think honestly.
Oh geez, that's precisely why I don't like to comment on some posters threads and btw, no one have the right to tell me how I see/feel in this situation..if you do, then what's the point of sharing my thoughts in this forum when I can't speak freely and truthfully.
I'm so done with this thread.
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"Always BE YOURSELF! No matter what People Think..An Original Is Always Worth MORE Than A COPY! Speak Your Mind and Be Honest! That Is A Good Recipe Of Self-Respect, Self-Love And Self-Worth."
"Double-Standards Are Lies, Hypocrites And Contradictions. Live By What You Preach!!!"
"Don't Waste Your Time On Revenge, Those Who Hurt You Will Eventually Face Their Own Karma Because What Goes Around, Comes Around And Karma Has NO Dateline.Life Is Too SHORT To Waste Time On Stupid People,Bullies,Haters and Whiners..Don't Ever Let Anyone Bring You Down When You Know You Are Better and Wiser.Be Someone With RESPECT, Good Attitude, Style And Class!"~WildSnake~
"The Smiles From My Children Reminds Me How Wonderful And Rewarding Motherhood Is. You Can Never Fully Understand The Beauty, The Power Of Motherhood And The JOY Of A Mother Unless You Are One!"
"There May Be Many Flowers In A Man's Life, But There is Only ONE Rose In His Heart."
"I love seeing old married couples, it makes me realize that someone can actually LOVE ONE person Faithfully In A Lifetime!..It's BLISSFUL that my hubby is All MINE and the ONLY woman he Loves!"
"Haters Gonna' Hate! I Laugh Cuz You FAKE! Go And HATE All You Want, Know I'm Something That You Ain't !!!"~Hon Raps~
"Be A Light, Not A Judge.Be A Model, Not A Critic! I Do Not Judge People By The Scriptures Of Their Faith And The Scars From Their Past, I Embrace Them By The Contents Of Their HEARTS And KINDNESS."
*** Read My Blogs On Profile ***
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