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Im Freaky and he's more reserved?!?!  posted: 07/09/12 at 11:48 PM
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I met this wonderful guy recently. He has everything going on for him. Smart, funny, gentleman like, good career, never been married, no kids, and wants to settle down, get married, and have babies. We have gone out twice in 10 days and he has been great. Plus we talk all the time. However.....
He wants to wait to have sex (which is ok). Maybe like 60-90 days. He doesnt give oral sex right off the bat (i dont like this). I like to experiment and have sex or act dirty outside if need be. Im a bit of an exhibitionist. He has never tried these things. I feel like sexually we may not be compatible. I like someone who is up for anything and to take me on wild rides. Im not sure if I would be happy with this in the long run. We havent had sex or anything and isnt even close to it. I cant imagine being one of those wives who have everything but husband cant satisfy her.
Any suggestions on this or is anyone else in the same boat?
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A man is only going to treat you with the respect you demand-- not deserve!
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posted: 07/10/12 at 12:01 AM
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I'd just ask him if he's open to trying new things and learning. If he's hesitant or says no, then there's your answer.
What does he mean he doesn't give oral right off the bat? Does he expect it though? IMO that's a give and take sort of thing!
I guess if having sex outside is the limit for him you have to ask if you can deal with that, I'm totally up for trying new things and what not, but sex outside the home? Flashing body parts? Nope... Not unless it were like camping and we are in our tent or something! 
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posted: 07/10/12 at 12:14 AM
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Well he told me his size was 7 and some pennies but I like girth as well but this isnt a problem. I think he may be open to it over time but again I dont want to force it on the poor guy.
As far as oral sex he doesnt expect it right off the bat. He has said that women generally gives before they receive. He is so picky about everything with sex.
As far a outside I mean maybe in the woods, or outside on the balcony when its dark, or fondling each other in the car, or even discreetly doing it with guest at the house. These things turns me on. I told him I masturbate at home in my living room with the door open (for the thrill) and his eyes popped out of their socket.
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A man is only going to treat you with the respect you demand-- not deserve!
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posted: 07/10/12 at 1:03 AM
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I would NEVER invest 3 months in a man without sex.
Sex compatibility is very important to me. Maybe because I am older, I am not looking for a husband, or a father for future children, I am looking for a man to enhance my life and sex/intimacy is on top of the list on how he will enhance my life with.
I would think something is wrong with him. Something like he's not very sexual, he has erectile problems, size problems, I would definitely think he does not enjoy giving oral.
What is this about no oral off the bat? If you are std free, what condition do you need to fill-in to be entitled to oral? Notice in the way he presents this to you it's as if he expected you to give him oral though!!
You sound like a woman that has a healthy sex drive and knows what she likes, not sure a man like this, a man that calculates his moves, is the type of man that would make you happy.
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posted: 07/10/12 at 7:01 AM
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Kudos to you for talking with him so honestly and openly. If only every couple would, sigh.
I'm with Gail. It would drive me crazy to wait three or more months for sex. I'm also very kinky, and it's incredibly frustrating to be with someone who is strait laced or who isn't open to exploring my fantasies.
My bf isn't as kinky as me, and it's caused me some frustration. Don't get me wrong- he's very open to things like outdoor sex, different positions, pegging, even threesomes. The problem we have is that I'm dominant and would like to do BDSM play with him, but he has no interest in it. Oh, he offers to sub once in a while, as a favor, but his heart is not in it. He's just not submissive by nature, and impossible to fake that.
But my case is different because I have his permission and blessing to go outside our relationship. I haven't taken that option yet, but knowing that it is there keeps me happy.
I doubt this guy will give you that option. You have to realise that while he might change and open up over time, he may never really inderstand you, and not having an outlet is going to eventually just kill your libido completely. There's nothing else that can kill a boner like incompatibility, and knowing that your partner doesn't understand your sexuality.
Nevertheless, you don't know him well yet. It might be worth a few more dates to suss him out further. Keep talking about sex and fantasies. If he seems put off by yours, you'll know that you are just on a different level than he is.
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Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another
~My opinions change with new information.~
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posted: 07/10/12 at 7:55 PM
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This guy sure has a lot of rules he expects you to abide by. Don't think that his rules will be restricted to the bedroom.
He's given you HIS expectations. Now you give him yours. If he's willing to compromise, great, but if not, then there's your answer. It can't be all about him. He could be a control freak in other aspects of life. Perhaps there's a reason he's not been married before.....
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"My mother used to tell me, 'In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.' Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant." Ellwood P. Dowd in HARVEY
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posted: 07/14/12 at 2:30 PM
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| Maybe he doesn't want to give oral for fear of catching an std??? Im the same way, I dont give orals till my partner has been tested...n you seem to want to just jump right in but perhaps you both should go and get tested together and make sure everyone's clean before you begin your wild sexual escapade....everybody's different but speak to him about it and see where he's willing to compromise....you've only know him a short time, dont expect every man will want to just jump you
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