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he suddenly stopped contacting me  posted: 05/26/12 at 11:15 AM
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ok, heres the situation..
I actually dated my high school batch mate a month ago to really see what kind of guy he was. (anyway, we never became friends back in high school.we were just plain batchmates). yes, I found him cute so i thought it was kind of a "jackpot" because he asked me out. he said he wanted to prove his intentions true. But as time passed by, he didnt take any initiative to meet me anymore. Things had suddenly changed, he had his new "graveyard" shift job, suddenly became very busy, his texts lowered down from everyday to thrice a week to none. hmm, he's not my bf yet, we are in the "getting to know each other" stage, but, he keeps on texting me and planning our dates BUT cancels them. I also ask him to come with me sometimes but he never came. He was in for the "NO SHOW".. (I got little pissed off)
Now, he is not contacting me anymore. Neither do I  I dont wanna contact him first because as what Ive said I have already been pissed off with him cancelling our dates...he seemed to be "ungentlemanly"
I already told him that he has got a big chance to be my bf but I told him I wasn't ready to have a relationship yet because I had a great heartbreak 6 months ago and I wanted to get to know him better and vice versa. I just wanted a light , fun and "slowly but surely" kind of dating.
But my question is,
what usually makes the men stop communicating with the girl he likes?
what could be the reason with the "sudden " silence?
PLEASE HELP! coz I always asked myself.. "what could have gone wrong?"
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posted: 05/27/12 at 4:44 AM
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What could have gone wrong? This is the biggest thing that affected the situation: [[Things had suddenly changed, he had his new "graveyard" shift job]]
Unless I am wrong, graveyard shifts run from roughly about 11p-6a or so. So while the whole world is sleeping, he is required to be awake. While you are missing his texts and wanting to do stuff, he has to be alseep and getting ready for alertness on the job.
Give it time. It may be that you have to resort to emails for awhile until the job situation sorts itself out. I would not hold him to the him-contact-you first because of the job shift. It's not going to happen unless that changes.
Write him an email, sharing what you feel; that you still care, and would like to spend more time together BUT know the job is important and you are willing to work with him to find ways around the hours of his job. See what happens.
I hope you find your answers, he simply sounds overworked/tired out.
Poetman
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Rodger Swan 12/19/1986-1/26/2010 Gone too soon, remembered forever. R.I.P my friend.
You have everything that I have to give; it is the only way that Love truly exists. You and I are each One, and we are both One~E
I cannot be accurately judged by the meat and bone wrapped around me - its features were not my choice.~E
I Love you. Love Me as I Love you, you are Me. you are not me; only here are we we, separate rather than Me, One.~E
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posted: 05/27/12 at 7:30 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Poetman
Write him an email, sharing what you feel; that you still care, and would like to spend more time together BUT know the job is important and you are willing to work with him to find ways around the hours of his job. See what happens.
Hello POETMAN! Thanks for ur reply  anyway, i am planning to contact him again any of these days.. but, how will i do it without sounding like a NAGGER?
And.. when can i finally say that me-texting- him- first is enough? Yes, i am willing to fix this but i think i wouldn't know my real VALUE if all i do is text him first..i also want to know how important i am to him.
How long SHOULD i wait until i can see his next move?
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posted: 05/28/12 at 5:01 PM
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How, you ask? Try Something like this...
Dear R.O,N. (Rhythm of the Night)
It's hard to imagine you out working right now, while I am here trying to fall asleep. As I look out my window at the stars up above, I think of you. And me. And aUs.
All through high school I had a crush on you-did you know that? I bet you didn't. I figured a cutie like you wouldn't be interested in me, but then an angel connected our dots and it's been wonderful. At first when you took the lead in setting up dates, it made me feel the luckiest girl in the world! The sweet words, texts, all mean so much. For some reason though, they dramatically dropped off and when thinking about it, the only thing I can sink my teeth into is the New Job.
I have heard rumors that the Graveyard Shift is hard. Having to work while everyone else sleeps, doing a normal working person's routine on the flip side. They work, you sleep and vice versa. While rationally I know the hours, and their toll, my heart is being fussy. It wants to spend time with you, as do I. I want to do things with you; have fun and get to know each other. I'm frustrated out because I don't want to make you feel bad or guilty, that's not my intent at all. I admire you for being able to work that shift which many would not be willing or able to do. I just want to work with you and find a way through the tombs of midnight hours.
I miss you.I would love to go out, but I know that's not so easy with your current hours. If you let me know what hours you are scheduled for, I can work my schedule around them and maybe we can meet up for coffee or ice cream-or heck. Even just a walk in the park. Anything is better than the current level of close-to-nothingness.
I want to get through this, and I want to do it with you. Since talking is such a time-challenge, write me back when you get a minute. I'll be here, you are worth waiting for. Remember when you said back in the start of our dating that “you want to prove your intentions true”? Well, I still believe you can do that-it will simply require a bit more creativity now that the how of that has to take place as you walk the world at night.
I remain, most devotedly,
(Femme Fatale)
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Rodger Swan 12/19/1986-1/26/2010 Gone too soon, remembered forever. R.I.P my friend.
You have everything that I have to give; it is the only way that Love truly exists. You and I are each One, and we are both One~E
I cannot be accurately judged by the meat and bone wrapped around me - its features were not my choice.~E
I Love you. Love Me as I Love you, you are Me. you are not me; only here are we we, separate rather than Me, One.~E
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posted: 05/31/12 at 5:23 PM
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| If he was truly interested, he'd be contacting you. The two of you tried, but it didn't work out. That's how it works. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. The good thing is that you're now free to find a fulfilling relationship with someone who's truly interested in you.
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"My mother used to tell me, 'In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.' Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant." Ellwood P. Dowd in HARVEY
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