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conversation skills in general not dating / controlling people? posted: 05/02/12 at 3:11 AM
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Okay
So i was talking to a friend and I said my mom is calling me i have to go bye. I helped my mom. Then i texted and said sorry i was helping my mom do stuff I'm falling asleep goodnight. They call me back and lecture me saying I didn't hear you you hung up the phone rudely and that i should take a minute to explain myself and he heard blah blah bah. That is NOT My fault if that is what he heard. Nevertheless, i am getting a call from my other girl - friend who is driving to y house and has never been here. I tell him i need to pick up my call and he says no pick up her call later. CONTROLLING!!!!!
Then i start screaming because he's screaming. Then he tells me earlier we were talking on the phone and i said hold on kimberly's calling and he says i was rude because i kept him on hold for too long
I hate to stereotype but he is middle eastern. Totally controlling and i am so grateful all the time i stuck up for myself and never dated him.
I AM SO MAD. My mom heard me screaming and said cam down but i was so appalled that this man is telling me don't pick up the phone for my friend wait a minute. what a psycho.
Then the other day he is telling me to drive in the rain to see him but he can't drive in the rain to see me. ha and then we invite him to a wine tasting and he says he is afraid to drive 45 minutes to the event but its okay for me to drive 45 minutes and take vodka shots and drive him. Totally cheap controlling etc.
I totally did not deserved to get yelled at like that. I went bexerk when he said don't pick up the phone for my friend. what a psycho. i swear i didn't do anything wrong.
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posted: 05/02/12 at 3:24 AM
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Well, it all depends how you told him on the phone that you had to go. If you just said, you had to go help mom, bye! And hung up, that's rude. It all depends on the attitude you've given, from the post it seems you're very abrupt to talk to him once something "better" comes along to do.
As far as driving to see him, try both of you to take turns or meet half way, if you didn't want to go to the event with him and drive for long, tell him so
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posted: 05/02/12 at 3:24 AM
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One, it is terrible that you are making a connection to controlling behavior and being middle eastern. That is absolutely hogwash and shame on you for even thinking that. It's ridiculous.
Two- what's the big damn deal? Stop talking to him if you don't like the way he treats you. It's as simple as that.
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posted: 05/02/12 at 3:33 AM
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| Well i really don't think it's rude to say i have to go my mom is calling me. I know in my culture when mom is calling it's an immediate stop what you are doing and go do it. I have never had a problem with anyone else and if someone else told me their family was calling them i would not take offense to the abruptness of the call. I still don't think i did anything wrong because if my mom is calling it means i have to go and it does not mean i can linger on the phone. Plus i live with my mom so it was an issue in my house and my mom would think it was rude of me to keep talking on the phone.
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posted: 05/02/12 at 3:35 AM
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| The event is my goodbye party and the location was chosen as a meeting point for everyone. In my opinion a true friend would make the drive. I talked to him because i thought he was a true friend. I'm of indian descent and i can say in my family the men are controlling and i try very hard to stay away from those types. I've had an ex that would get arguments with me for nonsense like this. It really seems unfair on his part and i think the people here are taking his side and not mine. I don't think i deserve to be gotten on my case like that from him. I was polite enough after to send a text. I still think if mom is calling that is urgent.
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posted: 05/02/12 at 3:36 AM
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| its very hurtful because he's obviously not a true friend if he can't drive to my party or wants me to drive in the rain and worse wants to manipulate my time and argue over nothing. A lot of times he tells me abruptly my mom is calling me and never calls back. He hangs up right away and i don't take offense if he forgets to call back
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posted: 05/02/12 at 5:26 AM
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Then i start screaming because he's screaming.
yeah coz that's totally gonna solve it,let's just scream back.
I am with agfm. You're both guiltiy of going off into the deep end. One of my closest friend didn't show up in my 'goodbye party' when I came to U.S ,
no screaming .We Chinese must know how to keep the peace better then u guys huh ;o
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To the question of u'r life, u r the only answer. To the problems of u'r life, u r the only solution.
Nobody is perfect and I am nobody. That's why, i am perfect.
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