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posted: 03/12/12 at 5:14 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by crimethink
Is sex important to him? Does he have a sex drive? Do you have other kinds of sex besides intercourse, like oral or mutual masturbation? If you do, how does he like it?
Sex is not important for him, he does have a sex drive limited to sucking and kissing. Thats where his sex drive ends. No we dnt do any other kind of sex.
As i wrote he hates masturbation and he has never done that in life.
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posted: 03/12/12 at 6:34 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by tomie
To answer "is he normal" my answer would be he is not normal. If i may ask how old are you?
I am 25 only..... Jus to play devils advocate can it be the workload and stress tplaying a role behind ds behaviour or may be he needs some counselling on how to do intercourse.
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posted: 03/12/12 at 7:20 PM
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This sounds mean, but I have to say I would never marry someone with out having sex first. To me sex is an expression of love and intimacy- if sex is not good then the marriage will suffer. One or both partners may look outside the marriage if they aren't happy.
I love sex, and if I was in your position i would probably have to leave because I NEED sex, and I'd rather leave than cheat.......
I do think counsoling would be a great first step.
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posted: 03/12/12 at 7:27 PM
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| All the men i have known in my life time before my current bf all loves sex, yes stress can reduce not kill å man's urge to have sex. Its not like your husband is impotent, he gets hard but no ejaculation? Don't you plan to have children? Have you not talked about that? Because i don't know how you will accomplish that without intercourse. Have you discussed this with your doctor?
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One good turn deserves another.
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posted: 03/12/12 at 7:39 PM
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Remind me where you're located, couple99. His aversion to sex and genitals is no doubt the result of his upbringing and perhaps his culture. It might be good to think of leaders in your region whose opinion he would respect who could assure him that his fears are unfounded. He needs to be introduced to the fact that....his perspective is not normal, even in his culture, and that pleasing his wife is important enough to make an effort even in areas he's fearful. Would he be open to your going through a sex book/manual together?
I'm guessing he knows he'd going to have to endure a little sex if he wants to have children...
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"My mother used to tell me, 'In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.' Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant." Ellwood P. Dowd in HARVEY
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posted: 03/12/12 at 11:58 PM
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| I think his aversion to sex could be due to his upbringing, or he might be asexual, or both could be true. If you don't know what asexual means, you can get some information here, and ask him if it sounds like him. If he's asexual, you can't change him, but you may work together to find some ways to compromise. If it's just due to his upbringing/culture/mental hangups, you can try sex therapy or counseling.
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posted: 03/13/12 at 2:15 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by couple99
.. Jus to play devils advocate can it be the workload and stress tplaying a role behind ds behaviour
No, it's not his workload that makes him brush his teeth 10 times after oral sex, or clean himself for fear of sperm being on him. That is serious mental blockage and he needs the help of a professional. Sounds like to him sex is dirty. No, this is not normal for a young healthy male of 29 years, and not normal for any man or woman of any age.
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posted: 03/13/12 at 6:56 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by crimethink
I think his aversion to sex could be due to his upbringing, or he might be asexual, or both could be true. If you don't know what asexual means, you can get some information here, and ask him if it sounds like him. If he's asexual, you can't change him, but you may work together to find some ways to compromise. If it's just due to his upbringing/culture/mental hangups, you can try sex therapy or counseling.
How can we treat asexual personality?
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posted: 03/13/12 at 8:25 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by couple99
How can we treat asexual personality?
Asexual is not a personality. It's a sexual orientation, or at least something like that, which means some people are wired like that and can't be treated or changed. But from your posts we can't say your husband is asexual or not. It's up to him to decide.
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