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posted: 03/18/12 at 8:40 PM
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Awww haha, you guys are so sweet! I would've loved to update sooner but he didn't give me so much as a moment alone  Be warned: this is going to be gigantic!
It... was.... so much better than I ever could've dreamed. Being with him finally was SO, SO, SO amazing,.. I can't even begin to tell you. But I shall try, even though I know words won't do it justice and I'm going to sound totally hopelessly in love with him. (That's okay, because I am. lol!)
He... oh man. When I first saw him, I just walked up and we put our arms around each other and kissed once, really quick, and then I started walking him back to my car. I grabbed his hand while we were walking and I think it surprised him, but then he put his arm around me on the escalator and pulled me all close. I was a little shaky because I didn't really know what to do, but I couldn't stay away from him and I smiled like an idiot the second I saw him sitting there waiting for me. I don't think I was nervous per se, more of an "oh-my-god-you're-actually-here-now-what?" kind of feeling. Any question just completely vanished while I was driving him back to my apartment that night, though, because he took my hand and started kissing on it really slow and sweet and he somehow managed to wrap everything he felt about me into those kisses and that was it, right there, I was gone, it was amazing and I never want to be without him ever again.
We talked and laughed and kinda caught up and got a little more used to being together on the drive back (it was a little ways - like 1.5-2 hours), and once we got back to my town I took him somewhere to get food 'cause he said he was starving from traveling. By this time it was totally natural for me to be holding onto his hand or him to pull me into his arms, and we sat on the same side of a booth all snuggled up together. He bought me my smoothie and asked if I wanted something to eat, looking down at me all concerned and serious like he wanted to be very sure that I was okay and didn't need or want anything else that he could get for me. It was super sweet. He looked at me like that a lot while he was here.
When we got back to my apartment it took us about an hour to find ourselves in bed together and we didn't leave said bed for 18 hours after that. You can use your imagination for those details, lol!, but he was so tender and sweet and loving and amazing and it makes me wanna tear up just thinking about it! I've never had anyone be like that with me and I've never felt more loved or cherished in my whole life.
Our week was basically getting lost in one another, him taking me out to dinner, and us watching adorable Disney movies. I took him out to a few different places... the first night I was a little nervous when we went out, because, well, I'd never gone out to dinner with him before! Really silly after everything we'd already done together, but having him just look at me across the table with those eyes, smiling at me, watching me intently.. well, it's enough to make any girl nervous, geez! Halfway through dinner, though, he invited me over to his side of the booth so I slid in next to him and we snuggled up together for the rest of dinner. He let me have some of his dinner and was whispering sweet things to me inbetween eating and generally being freaking adorable. My nervousness faded really fast because... well, everything just feels so right with him, I was comfortable with him so fast, he never made me feel awkward or weird... the only nervousness I got because of him was butterflies or a little shyness when he looked at me or said something especially adorable.
The lack of actual things we did this week kinda became a joke with us, because we would plan on being all productive... I had a few things I wanted to show him, or do with him while he was here, but we could never seem to get it together enough to get out the door except for going out to dinner (and one day we couldn't even do that, we ordered in because by the time we were going to leave it was already too late to go anywhere, rofl). I was like "omgosh, how am I ever going to actually live with you!? We'd never get anything done." He was like "we would too!" I was like, "really? If you had to go somewhere and I asked you to stay and snuggle with me instead, you wouldn't?" And he just got quiet and grumbled at me and was like "Weeelllll...." haha.
But finally, on Friday, we had a lunch date with my best friend so she could meet him while he was here. We all had lunch together - and he got along perfectly well and she seemed to like him just fine. Lunch was super fun, although he was a little quiet. It's so funny, the difference in how he is with me alone and me out in public... he's so much more reserved and quiet when we're out, whereas with me he's all sorts of open, silly and adorable. Don't get me wrong - he's still super affectionate in public, smiles at me all the time and pulls me close and does sweet things for me, it's just... well, he's not quite the same when other people can see, he's so much less guarded with me, and I never really understood how big the difference was until we went out with other people and he was all sorts of quiet. I asked him why he was so quiet and he just said that's how he is, and I was like, what!? No it's not! And he had to qualify with... well, with everyone else, because he said it's different with me, that he trusts me and loves me and I get to see parts of him nobody else does. It was cuuuuuute.
We had dinner with mom and her boyfriend two nights. He got all dressed up in a button-down shirt, shaving and doing his hair, oh man it made me smile. She really liked him, said he seemed nice and that she was really glad I was happy. But he fit in so well with us and just afterwards he was like "did you think she liked me!?!" haha. It was adorable. He even got in good with my mom's boyfriend!
He left suuuper early this morning. We didn't sleep last night because we wanted to spend all the time we could together instead... I took him for a walk on campus to show him where I go to classes and such, just for a little while in the dark. He sat down and pulled me close at one point to tell me that he felt like he couldn't love me any more than he did right then, but he knew that somehow tomorrow he'd find a way to be even more in love with me. And he took my purse from me to carry it for me without me asking at all, just walking around with his arm around me, kissing the top of my head every now and again while we were walking and I was telling him about the different buildings we were passing. He said earlier in the week that he wasn't that type of guy, that he wouldn't hold my purse for me,... and I asked, "aw baby, you wouldn't?" and he was like "noooo... well, maybe for a minute if you were doing something, but that's all!!" And then he goes and carries it for me for no reason at all while we're walking. He makes me all sorts of smiley!
Him leaving was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. It was like I was watching my heart walk away without me and I couldn't do anything about it. I tried so hard to be strong and I didn't ask him to stay, even though I told him I wished he could and I'm sure it was written all over my face and in my eyes when he left. He held me when I cried about it Friday night, I'm not really sure why it hit us then, but it did, hard. It was terrible, but at least he was there to hold me together. He's not anymore and it sucks. He... he cried, too, though. A few times, while I was, and he said he cried when he had to leave me, too. He said if I'd have broken down when I was dropping him off, and/or asked him to stay, he would've. I don't know how he could've, because he has a son and his family and school back home, but he said he would've figured something out, and I was kicking myself for not asking him to stay. I knew it wouldn't be fair, though, to ask him that, and I didn't want to do that to him. A huge part of me still wishes that I had, though, and damn the consequences, because I would have him here with me still and that's all I really care about. He asked me to go back with him and if he would've handed me a plane ticket I'm ashamed to say I probably would have, lol. He said he got so close to just turning around and walking away instead of getting on that plane back home, and I so wish that he would have.
He left me one of his shirts because I asked him to, and I sent him off with a really sweet love letter I wrote him before he came to visit. I knew leaving would suck so I wanted to make it a little easier on him. He also took one of my hair ties... he did that the first night he got here, just after we got food and were headed back home. He took it from my car, where it was chilling in case I ever needed one and forgot to bring one with me. He put it around his wrist with no explanation and just looked away pretending he didn't just snag my hair tie, and I was like, "ummm, I saw that..." and he was like "shhh, no, it's just mine now." He didn't take it off the entire time he was here and he took it back with him because he wanted something of mine to wear to remind him of me all the time.
I just... ah, geez. Haha. It's so hard to try to explain and put it all into words, but this past week just cemented the fact that I really do love everything about him. The good news is that he feels the same way, and is having just as much trouble being gone. He said his hometown, where he's lived his whole life, looks totally foreign now that he's back and he's wondering where the palm trees went (I'm in Florida, hehe) and why I'm not by his side. He said it doesn't feel like home anymore, not without me.
Well,... I guess the gist of all that is that being with him was amazing and I can't wait to be with him again. We fit so perfectly together, we were so comfortable and it was like he just fit into my life effortlessly like there was always a space for him there, I just never realized it until he came here and showed me. I couldn't have asked for him to be more sincere, sweet, loving, sexy, affectionate, easygoing, fun... he's ridiculously perfect for me and I totally need to see him again ASAP or I'm afraid I'll start thinking I made him up. lol!
Someday, I'm going to marry this man.
Okay. That is all. Thank you to all of you who actually read all that!
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posted: 03/19/12 at 11:15 PM
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Thank you all for reading!
We're already planning how soon we can see one another, Riri, and he's joking about 'forgetting' to buy me a return ticket for the next time we're together. ha.
Thank you so much, Gail, I'm really glad you enjoyed reading it! It was nice to be able to relive some of my favorite moments, and rather therapeutic to write about the happy memories when I was missing him so badly.
Thank you for reading, jill! I'm very glad you enjoyed it. 
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posted: 03/20/12 at 1:49 PM
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Your story is so wonderful.
A couple of things came to mind as I read. When my bf was visiting, he too, wore my hair tie on his left wrist all the time so that if I ever needed it he'd have it ready. The day he was leaving, he asked me if I wanted it back but I said no and let him keep it. Whenever we're camming, I feel nostalgia just watching the hair tie on his wrist. I asked him for his shirt just a couple months after we started dating because I wanted to know his scent, lol. Also, it seemed like we never had enough time when we were together, there were just so much things I wanted to do with him. The day he left was the worst, I cried the moment he landed on the other airport for his connecting flight.
Hopefully your next meeting will be just as amazing as this time. Let's countdown together to our next meeting with our loved ones.
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posted: 03/21/12 at 1:14 AM
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Thank you, Mary!
Yes... mine took my hair tie purely because he wanted to keep it on him, though, as I already had one around my own wrist. There were things that he did for me that were super sweet while he was here, though... just little things... he'd get me food or a drink without me asking, or help me clean up a little bit, and he did the dishes for me one day while I was out at class... I still see the chopped carrots for my horse that he put back in my fridge without me even noticing while he was here, it was so sweet, he put them there without me having to ask or anything... sigh.
I lost it the second I got back into my car, when he was walking away into the airport. It took everything I had to just sit there and not burst out of my car and back into his arms begging him not to go. It was really, really hard. It still is, him being gone. I'm trying to distract myself, but I'm not very good at it apparently, lol.
He's been so different since we've seen each other, though... he's so much more open and affectionate now, he calls me and leaves me sweet voicemails, and asks me to get on skype with him every day, and tells me super adorable, sweet, romantic things every night. Even more than usual, that is. He made me tear up quite a few times last night... we skyped all night, for like 4 hours or something, after I said I was going to go to bed.
I can't wait to see him again. When will you be getting to see yours? Mine will be after I finish this semester, in early May. We're setting dates for sure here in the next few days and will probably be buying a ticket soon, too. I think I might spend my birthday with him, and that would be oh so wonderful!
Oh, and... I wrote him that love letter before he came to visit, and it basically was a list of everything I loved about him. I told him I was going to have to write a part 2 now that I'd seen him, and he said please do, and told me to send it to him so he'd have something to look forward to before seeing me again. Was so cute! I'm going to have to find some other little things to put in there with it to surprise him!
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posted: 03/21/12 at 6:28 PM
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| Aww. It's the small things that he did will make you miss him the most. I miss waking up beside my bf and the morning kiss. I miss drinking coffee with him every morning and evening. I miss watching horror movie with him. My bf is quiet around my friends too, mostly because they couldn't communicate well because of the language barrier, but he was also much more attentive and different when we were alone than around other people. Hopefully if he can save up in time, we're going to meet again on Dec. T^T It feels forever. It's so awesome to be able to spend time with your loved one on birthday! I wish I could too, but I guess I just have to wait and be patient.
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posted: 03/21/12 at 9:45 PM
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Ah, I loved your post-visit report! The first visit is always a Big Event, may the future ones always go so well.
Maybe someday I'll get to have one as well. Until then, I'll enjoy your ongoing saga
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Rodger Swan 12/19/1986-1/26/2010 Gone too soon, remembered forever. R.I.P my friend.
You have everything that I have to give; it is the only way that Love truly exists. You and I are each One, and we are both One~E
I cannot be accurately judged by the meat and bone wrapped around me - its features were not my choice.~E
I Love you. Love Me as I Love you, you are Me. you are not me; only here are we we, separate rather than Me, One.~E
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posted: 03/22/12 at 12:40 AM
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Yes  My SO is going to try to figure out a way to get me over there in early May, as soon as we both don't have school anymore. He won't let me help him with plane tickets again, though. I don't have the money right now anyways, but I have a way of making things happen when I want them to, so I'm going to find a way to see him regularly even if it kills me!!! haha.
And yep, definitely the small things. It's been an emotional roller coaster the last few days, to be honest. I'll think I'm fine and something small will remind me of him in the worst way and I just fall apart. It's pretty terrible, lol. I feel so silly, but what can you do? It's getting a little better, but missing him still feels crippling sometimes. I'm writing him another letter, which is helping me to focus on the positives, and I'm trying to throw myself back into my schoolwork and stay motivated. The faster I finish, the faster I go to grad school, the faster I get to be with him permanently!
Thank you, Poetman! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it! I'm crossing my fingers for you!
I have to say that since we've seen one another, he's been so open and doting and affectionate and romantic. He calls me a lot now, even if just for a few minutes, to talk to me. He wants to get me on Skype every day for hours, texts me all day, sends me pictures of what he's doing and tells me the sweetest things. Really, the past 2 nights he's made me tear up from happiness because of the things he's said about the way he feels for me... it's really so lovely. I don't really know what to do when he does things like that, because I just want to pull him close and kiss him because really, words aren't sufficient!
For example, I got a text message today with the message "for the special girl in my life <3" and this picture:
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb242/xjustaie/cid_843.jpg
Seriously. How much sweeter can you get?
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