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Lovingyou.com > Love Advice & Tips > Ask A Female > when your man is grumpy
when your man is grumpy posted: 12/01/11 at 3:43 AM

Maverick91  [more]
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When your man is in a bad mood, grumpy, because of stress, life, work, kids, etc., what can you do, what do you do, to help him? How do you make him feel better?

I have a lot going on in the next few weeks, with school, work, kids, holidays, etc., and I know I'm beginning to be a bear...

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There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven
Ecclesiastes 3:1

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posted: 12/01/11 at 10:54 AM

Riri Kyusai  [more]
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My husband and I talked about this long before we were married .the whole 'How'd you like me to do when I am..... ' so when I notice he is grumpy,or stress,bad mood ,I leave him alone because he told me that's what he prefers and at that point whatever I do or say,

will make it worse. Like ANYTHING I say or try to do ,he gets 'annoyed'. Phook one time I was like having hiccups and THE SOUND of my hiccups annoyed him and he was like 'Are you gonna make it?' ,I was like 'gosh one day you gonna tell me to stop breathing' and walked to another room to do my thing.

Leave him alone to do whatever he wants works the best for me. he can take the puppy out for a walk alone or with me, he can go to have his own bath with sea salt for stress relieved, or he can just play his games for hours.

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posted: 12/01/11 at 3:52 PM
rei_and_k  [more]
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This may not work for everyone, but it works for mine as far as I can tell...

Disclaimer: We've talked about this and he's told me that I never bug or annoy him, that he always wants to talk to me and that I should never think otherwise.

Knowing this, if he's being grumpy or not wanting to talk to me about something that's bothering him, I'll usually start teasing him. Unfortunately, we're long distance right now, and if we weren't I'd probably shower him with kisses while saying silly things like "come on, don't be grumpy!" and "smiiiiiiile, you know you wanna!" Even just saying things like that while I'm smiling at him over the phone usually does the trick, and even when he tries to grumble at me he'll usually snap out of it in less than five minutes. It would be easier if I could be with him and actually love on him to make him feel better, but I can't

But yes, silliness is my weapon of choice. It works well with him because he's silly, too, and it makes him smile. I've also been known to cook dinner or write a sweet love note or something when a boyfriend is having a particularly hard day/week and I know about it in advance and can plan a little something like that. I find that taking even a little time out to show I care or do something he normally does really goes a long way in destressing him and letting him know I care.

If it's something prolonged and terrible, I'd probably plan a weekend getaway for us somewhere romantic sometime soon. Vacations always make everyone feel better!! I normally like to do things like that spontaneously but if it's work or kids he's having trouble with,... those things sometimes require planning.

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posted: 12/02/11 at 2:18 AM
misty625  [more]
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I leave him be, unless I have some normal thing to discuss and then I bring it up as I always would- "Hey, we have to figure out the AB thing- what do you think, A or B?". I don't fawn or coddle him, though I might save any major things I have to say (bad or good) until a time when I know he's more receptive.

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posted: 12/02/11 at 11:57 AM

AnnaKate  [more]
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I leave him alone when he's grumpy. That's what he prefers, and I'm fine with it because then I don't have to hear him talk to me with an annoyed tone in his voice. I try not to take it personally, though. He gets grumpy when he's really tired, and I get grumpy when I'm hungry or stressed.

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posted: 12/03/11 at 9:19 AM

banarabbyt1  [more]
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Usually if my husband is grumpy I just ignore him (lol I know that sounds bad). But I pretty much leave him alone. If he wants to vent and let it out I'm all ears.

If he's just going through a hard time I'm extra nice to him, I'll do little things like make his favorite meals or plan something special to take his mind off it for a while.

Mind blowing sex helps too

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posted: 12/04/11 at 2:34 AM

Tr1sh  [more]
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I leave him be to some extent but I may bring him some food or a a drink.

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posted: 12/04/11 at 3:52 AM

shadowboxer  [more]
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I mock him lol (playfully of course). I've noticed when he gets in a bad mood that my methods of deflecting the tension with humor works pretty well. When you bring someone's mannerisms to light through comedy I think it helps alleviate some of the pressure they may be feeling. If that doesn't work, I acknowledge that he may be going through something and tell him that I'm here for him if he needs (then I give him his space). However, usually the humor works best and he gets a good laugh out of it

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"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." ~Oscar Wilde

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posted: 12/04/11 at 12:27 PM

fair_is_fair  [more]
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Usually nothing works for when my boyfriend turns grumpy, so I just ignore him and do something else until he gets over it. It does bother me though that I cant help him.

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When I am at work, its like I am Iron Man...I feel invincible when I don the armor of success....

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posted: 12/04/11 at 10:31 PM

bialy  [more]
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I would acknowledge that he is going through a rough patch and let him know I am on his side. I've also found that good dinners always help.

Beyond that, I let him work his way through his funk.

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