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posted: 02/26/11 at 11:49 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by northern_pegasus
Pickles, I take it you're a gal with big breasts, right? Have you ever had a guy tell you that big breasts are unfemenine, that you look like a guy, and that no man will ever want big breasts over small? Have you been bombarded by ads of women with small breasts, with ads for reduction surgery or for reduction pills? Why do you think men always joke about reductions being like "a slap to God's face"?
Of course it's hard for you to see it from this perspective, and yeah, it sucks that sometimes another sector of the population is put down to reassure another, but when small breasts are constantly put down day in and day out, by both men and women, be it in the media or in real life, teenagers or old people, it gets old. One thread and a few comments against big breasts WILL NEVER end the notion that the media and men have that bigger is better.
Sorry for the rant, but you just don't understand. It's very easy to just tell me to shut up and be confident, but in practice it's really hard.
Actually, I do have big breasts. You know why? Because I am FAT! But I wasn't always fat. At my ideal weight, I was about 34B. So I don't deal with your boob issue, but I do deal with not being the perfect size...and with "saggy" boobs, which one man once said here as "the grossest thing ever". I have cellulite and stretch marks. No matter how much weight I lose, I will never have a flat stomach. Just not built that way. Also, I'm 45yrs old, and now I'm supposed to look perfect cuz look at Demi Moore! lol
All around me, I am bombarded with what an ideal woman is supposed to be and of course, that isn't me! So I get it! But I still stand by my post. BTW, I didn't say to "shut up". I also didn't think it would be easy to get over and be confident.
Do what you want to do. I was just giving you my opinion, as an old, fat woman who still thinks she's pretty hot to trot. lol
(P.S. Unfortunately, these types of posts are common at LYC. Same story, except she's too fat, or she's too thin, or she's too short, or she's too freckly, whatever. They post about it, then well meaning posters respond by putting down the other types of women. I just wish we'd stop that. I don't want you to be put down for who you are, or anyone else!)
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In memory of LYC members Rodger Swan (aka LuckiestSwan) and Yvonne.May they rest in peace.
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posted: 02/26/11 at 11:58 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by eft505k
I totally agree.
However, it can be hard not to resent when someone has something out of pure luck that you can't have for the same reason. People lash out sometimes without understanding the reasons or consequences.
Oh, I totally get why she'd be resentful so I'm not picking on her. It's just other well meaning posters who respond. For ex: I have seen the "curvy" vs. skinny debate here before, and so many people jump in saying that "curvy" (whatever that is) is way better than skinny women. Often times, there are slams against skinny women (who wants to sleep with a bunch of bones?). So that is what bugs me. We can still build her up without tearing another woman down. 
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In memory of LYC members Rodger Swan (aka LuckiestSwan) and Yvonne.May they rest in peace.
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posted: 02/27/11 at 12:23 AM
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I watch Bai Ling and Cameron Diaz movie marathons and boycott movies that star the buxom type heroines when I'm feeling vulnerable.
Take up ballet. There are large breasted ballerinas, but it is as a general rule, an art form that celebrates other aspects of femininity.
I have come to the point where I love my androgyny 98% of the time. Mostly having to do with Loretta Lynn's secret to success "you have to be first, best, or different". Well - I'm a AA. I'm not going to have the breasts of Venus (neither of Wilendorf or even de Milo). So, I work with what I do have.
I also changed out my entire roster of friends. People who tell you you are ugly or that you are not good enough are toxic.
Anyway - that helped me.
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posted: 02/27/11 at 3:32 AM
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If you are not happy with what you have, you can change it. But make sure you do it for you. Some women aren't happy with their hair color, so they change it. Don't like freckles on their face, they can cover them with makeup. Do what you want to do that will make you feel better about yourself.
Also, if you are being put down by people, then don't hang around them anymore. Find some real friends that won't make horrible remarks like that. Its something you are already self conscious about and you don't need to be around people that make it worse.
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posted: 02/27/11 at 4:34 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by EternalBond
But make sure you do it for you.
Please don't think my reply is just directed at EB as that is not my intention. But several people in this thread have posted the exact same comment and it's not really applicable here. Nobody should be encouraging the OP to do this because she has clearly indicated she is NOT doing it for herself. She wants to do it for the men, and to be apparently more accepted by them blah blah. The OP never wanted to do this for herself and all of her posts make that very clear. Therefore, please do not state "it's ok if you do it for you" because her desires do not factor in, the way she has explained it.
To the OP, several men in this thread have responded that they prefer real, natural women over fakes anyday. You could be out a lot of money as well as endangering your health for the sake of some puppy-dog attention. And you will get it, but it won't last. Those men will grow up and move on to more stable and serious women, and you'll be left behind, with empty pockets and fake boobs. But you don't seem to believe us.
My suggestion would be to work on your self-worth issues. I guarantee you the issue here is not physical. I would also suggest surrounding yourself with some friends who make you feel good about yourself. The "friends" you describe aren't the kind worthy of banking on.
Good luck.
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posted: 02/27/11 at 7:34 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by ct9447
Please don't think my reply is just directed at EB as that is not my intention. But several people in this thread have posted the exact same comment and it's not really applicable here. Nobody should be encouraging the OP to do this because she has clearly indicated she is NOT doing it for herself. She wants to do it for the men, and to be apparently more accepted by them blah blah. The OP never wanted to do this for herself and all of her posts make that very clear. Therefore, please do not state "it's ok if you do it for you" because her desires do not factor in, the way she has explained it.
I agree that she should not change anything for anyone else but her. It is why I am stressing that if she decides to get implants, or anything else, that it should be for herself. I have not encouraged her to get a boob job. There is nothing wrong with implants. She won't endanger her health. Its surgery. The risks for implants apply to many other types of surgeries. And having implants doesn't mean men don't or won't take you seriously. I hope that the men she meets will care more about the person she is rather than anything she wants to change about her body.
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posted: 02/27/11 at 5:40 PM
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As a woman with large breasts, I HAVE been bombarded by women with smaller, perkier boobs in the media. I also can't find clothes that fit properly because they are either too loose and frumpy around the waist, or big in the shoulders, or they are popping open at the bust (if buttonup) or leaving me with WAY MORE than appropriate cleavage on display.
Before I had my first son, I was on the flip side of the issue, my boobs were small, they didn't have the "right" shape. I felt like I had stopped developing before I was really done. I had a hard time fitting clothes then too. They were so perky that they were higher than you'd expect cleavage to sit and anything sleeveless that I wore had to be altered because it would hang too low. Any of those tops that are designed to compliment cleavage looked kind of sad and empty on me.
I get it, both ways I get it. No matter what you get, there are going to be clothes that aren't designed for you and people that aren't designed for you either. But you know what? Both before and after my breasts grew due to pregnancy, I was pursued by attractive men. I was and am still considered to be a pretty attractive woman. I'm no supermodel by any means, but I don't need to be. I'm beautiful and I know it. Please don't hang all your self-confidence on the size of your breasts. There is so much more to you than that. You WILL find a man who loves you for everything you are and adores your breasts exactly as they are.
The men you've been talking to sound very very immature. It sounds to me like they are saying what they think they are supposed to and probably haven't REALLY given it much thought or had that much experience. You shouldn't be basing your self image on what they think anyways. Learn to love yourself and they'll follow suit.
A little inspiration for you:
http://www.listaholic.com/75-celebr...at-we-love.html
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posted: 02/27/11 at 7:43 PM
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'As a woman with large breasts, I HAVE been bombarded by women with smaller, perkier boobs in the media. I also can't find clothes that fit properly because they are either too loose and frumpy around the waist, or big in the shoulders, or they are popping open at the bust (if buttonup) or leaving me with WAY MORE than appropriate cleavage on display'. Snap!
OP, based on what you've written I suggest you wait a while. It sounds like you do hate your breasts but only because of what other men say - yes they are being rude about it but they're entitled to have their own opinions. But you will meet men who have different views, men in this forum have already told you how much they love small breasts. You are young and you have as much time as you want to change your appearance but there is a reason why I advise to wait a while. If it isn't breasts, there will always be something else that could be changed because of what men prefer. I really do understand you wanting surgery, believe me, I would like to change mine. But if I did, I would feel under pressure to move onto the next 'flaw' that men see in me, I'd want liposuction or to change my hair or God knows what else. Women in general will always feel this pressure and I have changed my appearance (hair, etc), I've lost nearly two stone in weight since May and I'm if possible even more unhappy with myself now. You will meet men who will think you look perfect, I promise.
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posted: 02/27/11 at 8:18 PM
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On the issue of clothes, it's not always easy to find clothes as a small chested woman, sometimes clothes fit well everywhere but the bust, also, there are a lot of tops designed to emphasize the breasts, which are cute but I can't wear 'cause I have nothing to flaunt, they're too loose around the breasts, etc.
Just sayin' that it's not easy for smaller chested women to find clothes either, despite what the fashion industry might make you believe. You don't find high fashion clothes at normal stores that adjust to my budget.
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