A collection of love, romance and relationships resources including advice, poetry, quotes, dedications, chat, horoscopes, romantic ideas, message boards, free love postcards and much more!!
What's New Today on LYC...
Monthly Romance Calendar
Forum Quick Links:   Forum Home   |   My Home Page   |   My Inbox   |   My Calendar   |   Find Members   |   FAQ   |   Terms  
Popular Forums:   LYC Chat   |   Love Advice   |   Sexually Speaking   |   Military Spouses   |   Online Romance   |   Ask A Male   |   LDR   |   Holidays  
Lovingyou.com > Love Advice & Tips > Love Advice > He says he's thinking about me..
He says he's thinking about me.. Angry posted: 01/18/11 at 1:21 PM
Beachbumm764  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 66
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Jul 2008
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
To make a long story short..

I was seeing this guy a year ago for a month, and then I left and wasn't into it any longer because I wasn't over a past relationship and didn't really see the potential we had.

Then a year later...we ended up running into each other again on a trip with friends and got back together. We weren't bf and gf but we also decided after a week or so that we weren't going to hook up with anybody else. We were together for about a month again. So not very long. This time I actually started to really like him a lot more than before. I would think about him everyday and want to hear from him everyday. Though..he wasn't really acting the same. He wouldn't text me or call me throughout the day until I did. and he wouldn't really make plans it seemed to be always me making plans to hang out.

He's going through some tough times right now, and doesn't want to be in a relationship, he didn't want one before we started hanging out again. He's unemployed recently, has a 4 year old boy who he takes care of full time, and the last girl that he was with lied to him about getting pregnant with a baby girl. She said it was his and then before she gave birth told him that it wasn't his. This was all pretty recent too.

Anyway...I just didn't feel things from his side.. so this was our last text conversation:

Me: Listen, let me just save us some time here. You see, this is what i'm ready for, someone who genuinely wants to spend time with me, someone to wake up to in the morning and have my back, be there for me. Clearly you are just not into it. So i'll always care about you very much, but i'm gonna go find someone who doesn't take for granted what I have to give..

Him: Well...I used to be ready for that..but you are right..at this point in time of my life i'm not and you obviously know what you want, so i'm sorry i wasted your time..but regardless how i feel about being in a relationship...I do really like you...it's just a lot has changed for me since the last time we tried this..and you just dissapearing last time didn't really help..like you said.. I'm just not ready for this whole relationship thing anymore..not even sure if it's what I want anymore..i'm really sorry if I hurt your feelings.


So that was that. I was ready to just walk away from it all. When this morning two days later he sent me a text and said...Just thinking about you...have a good day : )..

I wrote back and just said...thank you, you too.

Why is he even doing this to me? WHy is he telling me he's thinking about me? What am I going to do with this?

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 01/18/11 at 4:24 PM

HellYaImNuts  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 11610
 Group: Admin 
 Joined: Mar 2002
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
Do what you originally planned to do...walk. He has clearly told you that he does not want a relationship right now. He spelled it our clearly.

I'd txt him back and tell him that if he ever figures out what he wants and if the time is better for him...to look you up.

That's if you want to give it another shot with him. If not, stick to your guns. He didn't chase after you when you said goodbye or try to keep you when you wanted to go. To me, that's a clear indication that he wasn't into this like you were.

----------
~Love is a cycle. When you love, you get hurt. When you get hurt, you hate.
When you hate, you try to forget.
When you try to forget, you start missing.
When you start missing, you eventually will fall in love again~

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 01/18/11 at 11:35 PM
Beachbumm764  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 66
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Jul 2008
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
Yeah. I agree. Its just hard to take it all in, and I don't understand why he would send me a text saying he's thinking about me. But im sure if he wants to be with me he will realize it eventually..I sent him a text that said..

I just want you to know I'm here for you as your friend no matter what. I hope things work out for the best. It's all I want. You mean a lot to me and I don't want to lose our friendship..

So hopefully if he's still interested he will let me know...I don't want to sound too desperate my mentioning if he wants to hit me up he can in the future..you know..hopefully he will be man enough to do that himself.

I'm just so confused on why he would say he's thinking about me!?

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 01/19/11 at 2:57 AM

TheStupid  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 2740
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Jul 2006
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
You still have feeling for him. It would be healthy just to tell him. This whole dancing around pretecding I am cool but I am actually not doesn't help.

----------
Divorce makes marriage meaningless.

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 01/19/11 at 4:26 AM
Beachbumm764  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 66
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Jul 2008
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
Yeah. Your right. I try to avoid playing games but at the same time I don't want to be so available to him that he takes it for granted. But your right no matter what at the end of the day he either likes me or not.

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 01/19/11 at 7:57 AM
BenNMandi  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 95
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Dec 2010
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
If he's said he's not ready then maybe give him some space. If it's meant to be then great if not there is other fish in the sea Also when he sends those cute messages it's ok to say "thanks" but that is all i would say. I would not give him the satisfaction of knowing it gets to you. I also wouldn't just ignore communication because you never know later on. good luck with it all I know it's hard when you care for someone and they seem to give an inch and to us who care for them it feels like it's a mile.

----------
Daisypath Wedding tickers

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 01/19/11 at 8:24 AM
misty625  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 10620
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Nov 2004
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
Well, he can legitimately not be ready for a full relationship, and at the same time like you and think of you. Those things are not mutually exclusive. He may simply want to keep in touch and leave the door open.

If that doesn't work for you, that's totally okay. But you need to tell him in so many words. Tell him you are trying to get your head on straight after your recent conversation and it's better for you to not be in contact.

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 01/19/11 at 1:11 PM
Beachbumm764  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 66
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Jul 2008
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
I seriously just want to tell him I understand better now..that he's just not ready but if he still wants to date casually without the pressure thats ok too. Though...I don't want to come off as desperate. I should stick to my words but its so hard. I miss him. : (

The thing that really gets to me is that a year ago he wanted to be with me! I remember the pressure being too much and I just walked away from him.

Maybe I should just wait until me and my friends hang out and invite him out or something... I hate this so much. I wish things were different.

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 01/19/11 at 11:28 PM

Mucker86  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 4
 Group: New Member 
 Joined: Jan 2011
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
He thinks about you because he likes you and probably really does enjoy your time together. His personal life at this current time far outweighs his feelings for you, hence why your friendship hasn't furthered in anyway.
If I was you like you've done already is let him know your always there for him and leave it at that.

It's up to him to change any of the above. For you it's living your life the best you can and achieving any dreams, goals and aspirations you have.

Anyway this is my first post so jumping in with two feet here!

----------
Everyone has inside of him a
piece of good news. The good
news is that you don't know how
great you can be! How much you
can love! What you can
accomplish! And what your
potential is! By Anne Frank

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 01/20/11 at 11:30 AM

TheStupid  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 2740
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Jul 2006
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
Seriously, don't try to DEFINE things or draw lines in relationship. It's not multiple choice SAT exam, nor is it TRUE or FALSE selection. It's a relationship and it needs some trial and error.

You don't need to pretend that you are not that available if you are. That game never works out right. You don't need to agree with whatever rules he sets out either.

A good relationship is where you enjoy being yourself rather than pretending as someone you are not.

That being said, I would suggest you to tell him that you like him and like to see him. Now, his problem or whatever, that's his problem to deal with it, not yours. You can jokingly tell him to man up too.

So what if he goes "I have to think about it." or whatever BS. You just say "Keep thinking. Call me when you are ready but I may not be available." After that, go on your happy life and forget about him.

After all, if he doesn't come for you, you know that he's not that into you anyway.

----------
Divorce makes marriage meaningless.

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
More On Page: (1) 2 »

 

Notice: Use this form ONLY if you are already a member! New users, register for free here!
Notice: This is our quick reply form, for all reply options such as smilies, HTML and more, click here!
Fast Reply:
Your User Name:    Want to register?
Your Password:    Forgotten your password?
Subject: (Optional)
Show Signature: include your profile signature.
 Notice: By submitting to this site, you agree to these terms of use.
Forum Options:
· Save this topic to my favorites (subscribed)!

· Email this topic to a friend!
Rate This Thread:

Back To: Lovingyou.com > Love Advice & Tips > Love Advice > He says he's thinking about me..

 

LOVINGYOU.COM SITE MAP
LOVE:  Communication | Affairs | Dating | Getting Serious | Getting Married | Break Ups | Loving Yourself | Support Groups | Dear Love
ROMANCE:  Romance 101 | Ideas | Date Nights | Recipes for Two | Romantic Travel | Craft Ideas | Holidays & Celebrations
PASSION:  Lovemaking 101 | Passion Play | Loverotica | Ask Aphrodite | Pillow Talk
INSPIRATION:  Love Poetry | Love Letters | Love Quotes | Love Stories | Dedications | Printables | Lovescopes | eCards
   Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Contact Us | Writer's Guidelines | Suggestions

Lovingyou.com, Inc.SM All rights reserved.

Message board powered by vBulletin. Copyright ©2000, 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.

SheKnows Lifestyles