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posted: 08/28/10 at 8:07 PM
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| I guess when time comes all I can do is talk to my Dad. I just know he'll be hurt... and angry. We never had a date set for my previous marriage. It just happened. He said either marry me or forget it, so I did like an idiot. Afterwards he told me if I hadn't married him then he would have never have married me. Should have gone back and got an annulement. lol Oh well. I guess I'll just talk to them both if the time ever comes, which it may very well my how my bf talks. It's all I can do I suppose. So everyone agrees it's bad to want to wear the dress even though it's never been worn before?
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"Giving up does not mean you're weak, sometimes it means you're strong enough to let go."
"Fairy tales are more than true. Not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated."
"I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
"when people love eachother, and then suddenly one of them isnt there anymore, its the distance that hurts, and the distance is the same no matter whos doing the leaving."
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posted: 08/30/10 at 1:17 AM
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I think it's different than the engagement ring thing. An engagement ring you buy for the person receiving it, meant to fit their tastes and be theirs. A dress is for the woman wearing it. Meant to fit her tastes and make her look beautiful on her special day. I think it might be different if the dress was somehow picked out with your ex husband's tastes in mind or something like that, but if you bought YOUR dream wedding dress for YOUR tastes, then there's no essence of your ex husband in it at all.
I know some women who designed and tailored their own dresses long before they met anyone they intended to marry, only because they wanted to get married someday and were very picky about exactly what they wanted to wear. It's about her, not him.
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posted: 08/30/10 at 8:36 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by MissFae
I think it's different than the engagement ring thing. An engagement ring you buy for the person receiving it, meant to fit their tastes and be theirs. A dress is for the woman wearing it. Meant to fit her tastes and make her look beautiful on her special day. I think it might be different if the dress was somehow picked out with your ex husband's tastes in mind or something like that, but if you bought YOUR dream wedding dress for YOUR tastes, then there's no essence of your ex husband in it at all.
THat's exactly how I wanted to explain it to him but couldn't find the words. lol Thanks. 
No, my ex never picked out the dress with me, he only saw it because I brought it home. I never wore it at all, and he never saw me in it.
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"Giving up does not mean you're weak, sometimes it means you're strong enough to let go."
"Fairy tales are more than true. Not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated."
"I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
"when people love eachother, and then suddenly one of them isnt there anymore, its the distance that hurts, and the distance is the same no matter whos doing the leaving."
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posted: 08/30/10 at 9:57 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by eft505k
heirloom rings and dresses are not person specific- there is a precedent.
That is so true, but at the same time, I think I'd still be uncomfortable wearing an heirloom ring if it had already been worn by an ex wife at one point. You just know every time she sees it on your finger (especially if there are kids and therefore frequent contact) she's thinking "That's MY ring".
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posted: 08/30/10 at 10:03 PM
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| Well the difference between the ring and the dress is that the ring would have been worn, the dress hasn't. He also used that when we talked about it by saying: "What if I bought a ring for another girl, but never gave it to her, and used it to propose to you with?" I think that's totally different, but maybe not....
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"Giving up does not mean you're weak, sometimes it means you're strong enough to let go."
"Fairy tales are more than true. Not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated."
"I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
"when people love eachother, and then suddenly one of them isnt there anymore, its the distance that hurts, and the distance is the same no matter whos doing the leaving."
click to: respond to this topic
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posted: 08/30/10 at 10:22 PM
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Exactly. I mentioned that but he still stood firm. Oh well, unless he decides he wants to marry me, I guess I shouldn't worry TOO much. He does talk about it so who knows. Stranger things have happened for sure. Thanks everyone! 
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"Giving up does not mean you're weak, sometimes it means you're strong enough to let go."
"Fairy tales are more than true. Not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated."
"I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
"when people love eachother, and then suddenly one of them isnt there anymore, its the distance that hurts, and the distance is the same no matter whos doing the leaving."
click to: respond to this topic
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