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Lovingyou.com > Love Advice & Tips > Love Advice > Pro's and Cons of dating a Police Officer
Pro's and Cons of dating a Police Officer posted: 02/21/10 at 5:42 AM
berealbehappy  [more]
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Ok guys.. I am getting a ton of mix messages lately about dating police officer.. Some say that they are completely controlling and abusive and change for the worse. Others believe that they are just like us human and that you are dating the person not the job...I am absolutely torn in the middle. There is this guy that I really like. Of course he is a police officer, but he loves his job and loves what he do, and his deamenor and personality has been the same ever since I have met him. I have mentioned to him that I am worried about making the relationship official due to his job. He mentioned that I will never truly understand hat he does, just like he will never truly understand what I do( I am a biologist btw) but as long as we support each other we should be fine... I guess I am looking for some advice here

Thanks in advance

Edit: I am mixed he is white..if that matters any

Last edited by berealbehappy on 02/21/10 at 6:10 AM

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posted: 02/21/10 at 5:52 AM
Margery  [more]
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I think he is right. You really like him. He has displayed the same personality since you met him and that personality appeals to you.

I also think policing has a reputation as very hard and stressful work. There are various branches of police work of course as well. You coudl try to find out a little more more about what he does at work.

My main concern would be that his work may be life risking which would be very worrying and might also mean you and any children you had may be in danger.

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posted: 02/21/10 at 6:11 AM
berealbehappy  [more]
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Well his line of work is a patrol...traffic stops...and responding to calls...thanks for your help

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posted: 02/21/10 at 6:35 AM

babygirl6110  [more]
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my cuzin is dating a ex cop so dating a cop can be changlling to say the least lol

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posted: 02/21/10 at 6:38 AM
berealbehappy  [more]
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=\ thanks for your reply

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posted: 02/21/10 at 6:39 AM

KiiKii  [more]
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quote:
Originally posted by berealbehappy
Well his line of work is a patrol...traffic stops...and responding to calls...thanks for your help


That doesn't mean it is any less worrisome. If you can handle the worry that will come due to his job, or believe that his job is nothing to worry about, then you really have nothing to worry about.

So what is the issue?

BTW - Race isn't relevant.

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posted: 02/21/10 at 6:40 AM

Sedative  [more]
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The police has a reputation for attracting bullies but honestly it depends on the person. My partner is one and I've also met many of his colleagues and none have come across badly. Despite our jobs being quite the opposite (in terms of role in criminal justice) we still manage because we respect each others views and our jobs are just one aspect of us as people. What I'm trying to say is don't jump to assumptions about his character or think it won't work. It depends on both of you.

You asked for pros and cons: in my view:

-It's a very stressful job and it can be anti social. He will need your support.
-Anti social job does not mean you won't see him because you can if you make time for each other. It's really not that hard.
-It's easy to get space to do your own thing because of differing shifts.
-It pays fairly well and is a career for life.

In terms of the danger, yes that's difficult. But realistically more people die on building sites etc. They also have training and protection.

Last edited by Sedative on 02/21/10 at 8:32 AM

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posted: 02/21/10 at 7:36 AM
berealbehappy  [more]
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quote:
Originally posted by Sedative
The police has a reputation for attracting bullies but honestly it depends on the person. My partner is one and I've also met many of his colleagues and none have come across badly. Despite our jobs being quite the opposite (in terms of how we respond to people who offend) we still manage because we respect each others views and our jobs are just one aspect of us as people. What I'm trying to say is don't jump to assumptions about his character or think it won't work. It depends on both of you.

You asked for pros and cons: in my view:

-It's a very stressful job and it can be anti social. He will need your support.
-Anti social job does not mean you won't see him because you can if you make time for each other. It's really not that hard.
-It's easy to get space to do your own thing because of differing shifts.
-It pays fairly well and is a career for life.

In terms of the danger, yes that's difficult. But realistically more people die on building sites etc. They also have training and protection.



Sedative....Thanks for your input...This really helps a lot and also brought up another thought..Most of his collegues that I have met are pretty good people....and I don't get worried about his job...I know his job is very stressful just like mines and we also respect each other views....

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posted: 02/21/10 at 7:38 AM
berealbehappy  [more]
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quote:
Originally posted by KiiKii


That doesn't mean it is any less worrisome. If you can handle the worry that will come due to his job, or believe that his job is nothing to worry about, then you really have nothing to worry about.

So what is the issue?

BTW - Race isn't relevant.




I guess your right...there isn't really an issue I guess its due to me listening to everyone else

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posted: 02/21/10 at 1:22 PM

pink.fairy89  [more]
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I don't think you can generalise a whole group of people. I'm sure there are police officers that are controlling and abusive, just like I know there are some who aren't. It's the same as anyone in any profession; you have some that are good, and some that are bad!

That's all I really have to say. That it seems stupid to me to generalise someone, and assume you know what they'll be like just because of their profession! How ridiculous, haha.

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