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sex first thing posted: 07/01/09 at 8:35 PM
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A ex GF always wanted to have sex first. I mean within 5 minutes of seeing her. She liked foreplay but made it clear that before we did anything, movie, dinner, drinks, that the first priority was sex.
She said that she would think about sex during the day and when we got together she was ready for sex. Who am I to complain?
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posted: 07/31/09 at 8:22 AM
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In the past, I wasn't into oral sex at all. If I wasnt asked to give head, I never offered to do so and I didn't give a hoot about oral sex for myself either. My first boyfriend was a big fan of '69 and he was rough and selfish about it so I didnt like it. I wasn't deeply in love with him so I think that made all the difference emotionally because he did give me orgasms technically. Still, I wasnt fond of '69 on the whole.Just wasnt my cup of tea.
I guess you could say that I just liked missionary style sex.Boring and dull I know.Simple and easy to do.lol
I kicked one lover out of bed because he got too wild about oral sex.I can only take so much of it and than I just want it to stop.
he wouldnt stop so I kicked his ass right outta bed.no problem.no regret.didnt care if he didnt want to ever do it again.guess it doesnt mean that much to me .i havent analyzed it.perhaps i should.perhaps if i had enjoyed it in the begginning, i would feel differently.not everyone is wild about oral sex.i dont think it makes me a bad lover in the long run.just a boring one i guess.lol
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beadsinbeauty
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posted: 07/31/09 at 6:59 PM
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| Okay I felt kinda how your girl does. I wasnt big into receiving b/c the few guys that did do that, didnt do it well oe did it for like 2 mins and thought that was good enough. It kinda turned me off of it b/c it didnt really turn me on and kinda frustrated me. I would give head, but I really got to the point where I didnt want to recieve. Than I met my fiance and he loves to give oral. He knew my past issues with it and he slowly warmed me into the idea and let me guide him, even though he knew what he was doing. It gave me a comfort to feel like I had control. Now, I love it! He is the only man to make me cum from oral and I now know what it is suppose to feel like. I think I also needed someone who emotionally understood where I stood with my oral "issues". I think you should talk to her and be open with her and tell her you want to satisify her and let her guide you and tell you what feels good and what doesnt!
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posted: 07/31/09 at 8:16 PM
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My wife rarely will cum from oral, but she knows that tasting her is a huge thrill and a turn on for me. She's commented how hard I get when she's sitting on my face (literally). Once she realized how hot it got me, she started getting into it too and now she gets really wet seeing how excited it makes me. Now it's a turn on for her knowing how hot she can get me, and she'll sometimes tease me with it.
I suggest letting your lover know how hot it gets you to taste and touch her, but in return you have to not make it be about getting her to cum. Hopefully she'll enjoy treating you that way. If she happens to cum then so much the better, but let her know that it's your kink and she's giving you a huge treat.
Hope that helps.
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posted: 10/14/09 at 1:52 AM
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I love giving woman oral. I've done so much of it with my ex wife while married and the other two girlfriends I've been with. This however tops the cake. I met my girlfriend and the one time I gave her oral, she loved it. She was squirming like there's no tomorrow and said, "God you're all over the place". It made me feel good that I was pleasing her, but that was the last time. Later she told me that she spots and bleeds due to Endometriosis. Therefore, the first and only time we did it was when she wasn't spotting. Thank God. What I'm here to say it that I would continue, but she doesn't feel comfortable because of spotting and I can live with that too.
I on the other hand would love for her to arouse me as well, such as a hand job or a blow job. She doesn't want to give blow jobs because she has braces in her mouth and she doesn't want to hurt me. I can respect that too. I want to find ways thru communicating with her that we should both get each other aroused. During foreplay, she doesn't want me to finger her, so the only thing that is left is carassing and playing\sucking her breast. I would like her to take me. Reach down and start to massage me and get me so freakin hard that it will take me a week for it to go limp. My problem is that if I can't get hard and stay aroused, then I don't feel like a man and can't please her. Any advice?
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posted: 11/24/09 at 8:26 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by BleedingHart
You know, quite a few women get turned on and ready for intercourse just by blowing a guy. They'll suck your c*ck like a champ, and then hop right on your throbbing man meat and ride you until you explode! I refer to these kind of girls as being "low maintenance". You certainly have to appreciate this type, as the best way to get them off, is by you getting off.
lol! I'm one of these women. I will let my SO give me oral, but to be perfectly honest, I've never felt comfortable with it. Maybe I'm not very comfortable with myself just yet??
My first experience with oral was TERRIBLE!! The guy seemed to think that biting and nibbling was a good idea... OMG I was literally swollen for 2 days.. walking around funny and everything! whew! I'm glad that part of my sex life is over lmao 
But yeah, as everyone says, talk to her about it. See why it is she doesn't want to have you give her oral often or at all. You might find she's uncomfortable or just doesn't like it or just wants to get you in her Either way, whatever it is you can reassure her or at least understand why it is that she doesn't like it.
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It's all a learning experience... as long as you're willing to learn.
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posted: 11/26/09 at 6:28 AM
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Awe man, giving my SO a dirty BJ is the sexiest thing ever, it turns me on so bad. And hell ye, I'm all for going straight into intercourse. She probably a giver and not much of a receiver. I'm the same I get turned on more by stimulating him than the other way around.
Interestingly enough BH, it is in fact psychologically harder for woman to have an orgasm than men. The reason for this is that unlike men, woman's brains go into "shut down" completely during orgasms, affecting the whole brain instead of a few sections like in men. Also there needs to be a huge drop in anxiety and fear levels for women to be able to achieve orgasm. Which might explain why woman find it harder to orgasm when they have stress in their lives.
Women fall into 'trance' during orgasm
From Mark Henderson, Science Correspondent in Copehagen
The first brain scans of men and women having sex and reaching orgasm have revealed striking differences in the way each experiences sexual pleasure. While male brains focus heavily on the physical stimulation involved in sexual contact, this is just one part of a much more complex picture for women, scientists in the Netherlands have found.
The key to female arousal seems rather to be deep relaxation and a lack of anxiety, with direct sensory input from the genitals playing a less critical role.
The scans show that during sexual activity, the parts of the female brain responsible for processing fear, anxiety and emotion start to relax and reduce in activity. This reaches a peak at orgasm, when the female brain’s emotion centres are effectively closed down to produce an almost trance-like state.
The male brain was harder to study during orgasm, because of its shorter duration in men, but the scans nonetheless revealed important differences. Emotion centres were deactivated, though apparently less intensely than in women, and men also appear to concentrate more on the sensations transmitted from the genitals to the brain.
This suggests that for men, the physical aspects of sex play a much more significant part in arousal than they do for women, for whom ambience, mood and relaxation are at least as important.
"Men find it more important to be stimulated on the penis than women find it to be stimulated on the clitoris," Gert Holstege of the University of Groningen told the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology conference in Copenhagen today. "We know from these images that each sex experiences stimulation differently."
The experiments also revealed a rather surprising effect: both men and women found it easier to have an orgasm when they kept their socks on. Draughts in the scanning room left couples complaining of "literally cold feet", and providing a pair of socks allowed 80 per cent rather than 50 per cent to reach a climax while their brains were scanned.
The scans also show that while women may be able to fool their partners with a fake orgasm, the difference is obvious in the brain. Parts of the brain that handle conscious movement light up during fake orgasms but not during real ones, while emotion centres close down during the real thing but never when a woman is pretending.
In the study, a team at the University of Groningen led by Gert Holstege scanned the brains of 13 women and 11 men using a technique called positron emission tomography (PET), while they manually stimulated to orgasm by their partners. All were heterosexual and right-handed, the latter to ensure that all their brains could be easily compared.
The subjects’ heads were restrained in the PET scanner during the procedure, as it only works if the body area being scanned remains still. The dimensions of the scanner and the need for stillness also explain why the researchers were unable to study intercourse itself.
In both sexes, activity in the amygdala, which processes fear and anxiety, was reduced during stimulation. Women, but not men, showed lower activity in the hippocampus, important for memory, as well.
In men, greater activity was seen in the insula, which deals with emotion, and particularly in the secondary somatosensory cortex, which rates the significance of physical sensations. This suggests that the sensory input coming from the genitals is being judged highly important and pleasurable by the brain.
Women, however, show very little increased brain activity, and only in the primary somatosensory cortex - which registers purely that a sensation in the genitals is there."In women the primary feeling is there, but not the marker that this is seen as a big deal," Dr Holstege said."For males, touch itself is all-important. For females, it is not so important."
As orgasm lasts much longer in women than in men, it is easier to study using PET - male ejaculation is over so quickly it is hard to get a reliable reading. The scans showed that in the female orgasm, activity is reduced across all the brain regions - conscious and subconscious - that handle emotion, including the amygdale, medial prefrontal cortex and orbitofrontal cortex.
"What this means is that deactivation, letting go of all fear and anxiety, might be the most important thing, even necessary, to have an orgasm," Dr Holstege said.
So keep your sox on guys and girls XD
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I ran up the door, closed the stairs, said my pajamas and put on my prayers, turned off the bed and hopped in the light, all because you kissed me goodnight.
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posted: 07/01/09 at 8:08 PM
