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Lovingyou.com > Pillow Talk > Oral Sex > Good-bye, oral sex
Good-bye, oral sex posted: 12/07/07 at 1:24 PM

Desert Rose  [more]
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I've posted here before about my difficulties getting my bf to do oral on me, and how he's not very good when he does. He can use the right pressure for about 30 seconds or less, and then he just uses the flat of his tongue. When he does that, it makes me feel gross. I think the bumps on his tongue must feel weird, but nothing sexual has ever felt that bad to me before. It just feels like I'm being rubbed with a limp sponge.

The last time he tried going down on me, it was so frustrating. I'd feel really close for the 30 seconds that he can use the tip of his tongue on me, but then I lose it. Then he has to work on me with his fingers, and once he starts using his tongue, the whole process repeats itself.

I haven't told him that he's doing a horrible job, but I let him know that I'd enjoy it more if he could use a firm pressure for a longer period of time. I've had him try tongue stretching exercises to boost his endurance, but that doesn't seem to work. He can't really do them often because his roomie would look at him strangely if he stuck his tongue out all the time. I really don't know what else to tell him to do. Do I need to just give up on the idea of ever receiving oral sex again because he can't do it well and it feels so awful? I know that most people would say you should give up things like that for the person you love, but I am 23 and going 60 more years without oral sex seems pretty bleak, especially since previous partners have already shown me what a good lick really feels like. I think I have basically three options: a) Live with it; b) Leave; c) Ask for an open relationship. I don't think he nor I would feel all that comfortable with C. If you were in my place, what would you do? I am not sure what the righ tcourse of action would be.

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Lisa: I'm so angry!
Marge: You're a woman. You can hold onto it forever.

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posted: 12/07/07 at 5:59 PM

BleedingHart  [more]
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Give up oral!? Hell no! Put yourself in a guys shoes, and tell yourself the same thing. Unacceptable right? That's right. Guys will coach the hell out of their partners until they get it right, I recommend you do the same.

Does he lack the endurance, and runs out of gas? Or does he simply just give up on what's working? If he's just stopping, tell him to keep going. Whenever a partner of mine tells me she's close to cumming, I unleash the reserves to give me that needed boost to send her over the edge. I'd recommend that to him. Tell him to think about it in a context he is familiar with, so that way he understands not to spend up everything he has trying to give you a one-hit knockout punch when it obviously takes much more to do you in.

If he does lack the endurance, why not have him use his fingers along with pressure from his tongue so he doesn't wear himself out? Do you like your clit to be sucked on? If you do have him do that too. Buy him a jawbreaker...a big one and tell him to suck on that bad boy until there is no more. Then buy him another one. After his tongue manages to work its way through a couple of those, he should have built up plenty of endurance to finish you off during the deed.

My point to you: Choice A is not an option.

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Consumation of the soul is done willingly.

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posted: 12/08/07 at 1:20 AM
Grits102  [more]
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I've recommended this book before: "She Comes First," which is available on Amazon.com. It's all about teaching a man how to perform oral sex on a woman. It explains anatomy, female responses, and various techniques. It's a wonderfully titillating read. Reading it might help him improve his techniques - but you're still going to be open and honest with him about what you like and don't like. As an example, I recall the book spends some time discussing a technique in which the flat (top) of the tongue is used to apply soft steady pressure. It sounds like that's something you don't like.

If you're worried about giving him a "how to" manual, soften the blow (pun intended) by also buying the companion book "He Comes Next" which teaches how to perform oral sex on a man. That way you can both be reading and working on improving techniques.

I bought the set for my wife and I to read (and as much for my own education as hers). We each had a lot of fun reading them, and certainly a lot of fun putting what we learned into practice!

Good luck!

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posted: 12/08/07 at 2:24 AM

UnluckyU2  [more]
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Friends are for keeps, so keep in touch!

When you have problems, a true friend will not rub it in. They rub it out!



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posted: 12/08/07 at 2:33 AM

Hizzahn  [more]
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If you don't want to tell him directly what you like, try relating it to something, most commonly: food. Tell him to pretend he's licking the peanut butter out of a half stick of celery, or whatever act of eating relates to the method you're looking for. Hell, put food on yourself that he'll remove with his tongue in a way that you'll like.

I'm not trying to say that this is an alternative to good communication, but more suggesting that there are different means of explaining things.

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It's okay to count the minutes, 'cause how many could there be?

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posted: 12/08/07 at 4:33 AM
Grits102  [more]
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quote:
Originally posted by LemonPledge
(BTW, I like soft, steady pressure myself. Not always, but sometimes.)
Somewhat off topic from the original post, but this is one technique I learned from the book I referenced that my wife really seems to enjoy. And from a male point of view - it's a chance to give the ole tongue a bit of a rest.

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posted: 12/12/07 at 7:33 AM

Mr. Music  [more]
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What if you held his head tight against your p**** when he is licking? Could he go for that? maybe that pressure would send him an idea or two. I love it when my wife smashes my face between her legs. I'd eat her for hours!

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posted: 12/17/07 at 10:12 AM

lacey2545  [more]
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I agree with grits102, that book is wonderful. My hubby got it & now neither one of us can get enough.

Don't give up. You're way too young to settle for mediocre oral sex.

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posted: 01/07/08 at 1:53 PM

sassylassy  [more]
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Rent a good porn to encourage him....

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posted: 07/18/08 at 12:37 AM
Lilturtle  [more]
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My husband has never really done it ,twice and only for a few seconds.So I just fake it till he is all done and then when im alone i finish my self up.

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