|Hmmm....I wonder...does anyone know if spasmodic bouncing from three to four...back to three...then back to four..and perhaps repeating this cycle several times is normal...because right now I'm in 3...but yesterday I was feeling 4ish, feeling ok... Now...bummed. |
Originally posted by nati23
STAGE THREE - EMOTIONAL DISORGANIZATION
- Begins at the start of separation and can last up to 6 weeks into deployment. Partners of experience:
3) Feeling numb, aimless and without purpose as old routines have been disrupted and new ones have not been established
4) Depression and the desire to withdraw from the world, family, and friends, especially if friends' husbands are home
5) Feeling of being overwhelmed by responsibility and trying to be everything and do it all
6) Sleep disruption- due to loss of security and the support person; tendency to sleep too much (to escape) or too little. Eating disorders may also come to light, or become worse
8) Feeling anger towards the military for taking spouse away when you needed him/her the most
***Getting "stuck" at this stage can create an unwillingness to move on emotionally and can be detrimental to healthy adjustment
- RECOVERY AND STABILIZATION
- Variable between weeks 3-5- For most people, begins several weeks and lasts until about a month before return. Most people begin to:
1) Realize at some point, usually by midway in the deployment, that "Hey, I'm doing OK."
2) Establish a new family pattern that works for them
3) Feel more comfortable with their situation , self, and the reorganization of roles and responsibilities
4) Complete successful experience, which ass to self-confidence and feeling of being able to cope
5) Reach out for support though friends, church, work, wives groups, etc.
6) Eat "cruise food" to save time/energy and to choose priorities- let some things go to have more time
7) Have higher long distance telephone bills- but must learn to keep within budget
8) Go thought the "my syndrome- my house, my car, my kids, etc.
9) Appear more mature and independent as "single" wives- you have developed new activities, accepted more responsibilities to fill the void- while secure in being married
10) Experience more sickness, initially, as increased responsibilities are more stressful until healthy coping skills are practiced
11) Feel vulnerable due to isolation from the husband and even family. Wives may feel uncertain of their abilities and may experience self-doubt
12) Feel asexual- no longer in need of sex or affection- or feel estranged due to suppressed needs and desires. Some women see themselves as unattractive and stop caring for themselves
13) Minor crisis can put person back into the disorganization stage
Love is like pi. Natural, irrational and very important.
Just waiting for August to roll around!! Yee-haw!
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