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Lovingyou.com > Family Matters > Marriage > do threesomes damage a marriage? Rating: Thread Rating: 3 votes, 5.00 average.
do threesomes damage a marriage? Question posted: 11/08/06 at 12:17 PM
katriaz  [more]
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a few months ago me and my husband had a friend of ours stay with us during the month he was here me and my husband had sex with him 3 times. I had a wonderful time but now my husband wants us to become swingers in the future and Im not sure. Does this mean Im not enough for him? Im scared hes going to get bored with me. Any advice would be appreciated.

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posted: 11/08/06 at 3:08 PM
Mrs. A  [more]
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Yes! Let me explain why.. jealousy can happen and a lot of mixed feelings. I also believe that it is wrong because you are having sex with someone else other than your spouse. Sex is made to be between a husband and wife. You basically go against your marriage vows when you promise to forsake all others. If you have doubts about it, don't do it. Don't agree to it. It will just cause you confusion and a lot of hurt. What your husband is not thinking of too..what about diseases? What would have happened if you have gotten pregnant and the baby wouldn't be his? You may had used condoms but that isn't 100 percent protective. So, think about all that.

yeah, threesomes can and will damage a marriage.

Mrs. A

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posted: 11/08/06 at 9:20 PM

tigerseye  [more]
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Ummm .. ok Iím trying to look at this with an open mind .. you had sex with your friend .. key word .. friend. There is a difference between swinging with couples and other people then what you did with your friend.
If your not comfortable then you have to tell your husband.
If you donít want to do it .. then you have to tell your husband.

I donít think that it means that your not enough .. I think it means that he likes the high of trying something new and he would like to continue trying something new. But what happens when it doesnít get him off like it use to .. this is why Iíve always maintained that some fantasies are better left as that .. fantasy Ö

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Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
~*~ John Mayer ~*~

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posted: 11/08/06 at 10:50 PM

Sunflower202  [more]
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To answer your question, YES.

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It's not so important what you have.
It's important whom you have in your life.

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posted: 11/09/06 at 12:38 AM

BooSFla  [more]
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do threesomes damage a marriage?

The answer to that question depends on how YOU feel about it. For some people it would be an issue for others it's OK.
If you are unsure about it you need to really think about it and decide for yourself if you want that too. Both be honest what you expect to get out of it and what if any limits are acceptable.

While my wife and I have gone through with a threesome yet we have tested the waters with some kissing and touching. That went fine so we both decided that we would take it further if or when the opportunity comes up

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posted: 11/09/06 at 1:00 AM

banarabbyt1  [more]
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Well, think of it this way- your husband thinks you probably got your fantasy of two men in bed- so now he wants his two women.....

I think you need to talk to him and tell him "I'm not comfortable swinging" BUT be prepared for the backlash- I know if I had sex with my husband and a guy friend, then when my husband talked about doing that again, maybe with another woman, and then I said "oh, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with it," he'd feel like I totally took advantage of him. BUT it also depends, who initiated having the threesome? You? Him? The friend?

I would say if you don't mind, indulge him in a fantasy of a MFF if you did a MMF and you initiated it- but then after that, its time to indulge in EACH OTHER and do things to spice up the marriage between the two of you.

I honestly don't know how your husband would take it, but I know thats how my husband would feel.

I think sex is special between TWO people- it cheapens it with three IMO, how can you sit and have sex with someone while your spouse is there and think of them in a loving fashion? Its just beyond me- and its not that I'm jealous and insecure, I just feel sex is something only my husband and I share with each other and no one else can have that special bond we have when we do make love.

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posted: 11/09/06 at 4:48 AM

Razzie  [more]
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Was the key factor in it's demise, in my case. Weren't married, but together 10 years.

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posted: 11/09/06 at 5:06 AM

msannw  [more]
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YES they damage marriages! When my SO was married, they had a 4some with another couple. His wife found that she wanted to experience more men than just her husband (they had been each others firsts). They ended up getting divorced because she cheated on him with his best friend who was staying with them for a couple months.

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~~~A relationship involves time, committment, communication, honesty and the ability to work on the issues you have. Anything worth having is worth the work. ~~~

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today"

"There just isn't any pleasing some people. The trick is to stop trying"

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posted: 11/09/06 at 8:41 AM

Riri Kyusai  [more]
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This thread reminds me of tv series I watched where there's one couple look all lovey dovey to each other in the hospital and there's something wrong with the husband where the wife finally told the doctor they had threesomes not long ago just in case who knows thats the problem. the girl doctor was so awww with the couple because they looked so happily in love and said how sometimes threesome might help happy married couple to be even happier in their marriage. the guy doctor replied

"Happy marriage couple will not need ANOTHER reason to make them happy."

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Nobody is perfect and I am nobody. That's why, i am perfect.

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posted: 11/09/06 at 12:24 PM

kaitee  [more]
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for sure it's gonna hurt the relationship, even just having two best gfs for me always caused bickering with the other two, often they fought over me, just friends, that's quite bizarre, but love between a couple only lessens with an additional person, there's another mouth to feed no pun intended, making love and staying in love with one person is hard enough as is evident from so many numerous posts about love in general, 3's definitely a crowd, and you can't go in it saying nothing's going to change your feelings for your SO, because feelings are really not in our control, once you've stepped into that place well anything can happen, it takes a very very special 3 ppl if such a relationship can actually exist, what about men with multiple wives, guess that doesn't count, it's another animal altogether, my great grandfather had 4 wives and 6 boys, wow that's a crowd, that's a small village, monogamy is good with one spouse, it has more than enough facets to it

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