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Lovingyou.com > Love Advice & Tips > Ask A Male > can a casual relationship turn into a serious relationship?
can a casual relationship turn into a serious relationship? posted: 01/09/06 at 8:13 PM

passionpatty  [more]
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Can a relationship that started off based on sex only become a serious relationship?

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posted: 01/09/06 at 9:29 PM

Another_Guy  [more]
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Anything is possible but I don't think it happens very often. Once a guy knows he can get a woman for sex with no commitment, he has probably decided that she isn't the sort of long-term partner he wants.

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posted: 01/10/06 at 12:10 AM

caliman73  [more]
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I agree. They can happen but are rare. Typically because a guy who is into having a relationship based on sex is not looking for the kind of attachment that a full relationship demands. The typical male response to a relationship like that trying to develop would be that the woman was using sex to hook the man in. It is an unfortunate difference in men and women's thinking, but too often true. Be careful out there ladies.

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Re: can a casual relationship turn into a serious relationship? posted: 01/10/06 at 1:09 AM
pondman  [more]
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quote:
Originally posted by passionpatty
Can a relationship that started off based on sex only become a serious relationship?


I think good longterm relationships begin as friends, and move towards best friends, lovers, and then longterm partnership. Sex as itself is the easy part. Can you make the leap? Don't know

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posted: 01/10/06 at 8:39 AM

passionpatty  [more]
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Okay. So, you're saying if I a guy gets sex right away from a woman he is thinking in his head she is easy and will have no intention on somewhere down the line of getting serious with her? I have had sex with men early on in a relationship and they sometimes have grown into serious relationships. I just met a guy with no intentions of sleeping with him right away. But we were together and things just got out of hand. And next thing we knew we had sex together. I wouldn't consider myself easy. and i would like to have a long term relationship with the right person. This guy ever since then has called me everyday and we spend hours on the phone. Does this sound like someone that wants to just have sex with me and that's all? If this was the case then I would be doing all the calling and when I called him he would either not pick up or cut the conversation short, right?

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posted: 01/10/06 at 9:47 AM

ElsMan  [more]
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What you just described doesn't as bad as the initial question might have led one to believe. I took the initial question to mean that you were in a friends with benefits/FWB relationship (i.e. had sex several times with no dating relationship).

Instead, it sounds like you had sex after a first or second date but these were clearly dates and you two were and are in an exclusive relationship and publicly BF/GF? If that take is correct, then it's not nearly as bad as FWB.

Many men would still be worried that you are "easy" but fewer men will dismiss you the way they would after a FWB. Like your own past experience has seemed to show, there is hope.

Hope all the way to eventual marriage? I wouldn't put down an even-wager bet on it but it's possible.

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posted: 01/11/06 at 1:07 AM
pondman  [more]
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quote:
Originally posted by passionpatty
If this was the case then I would be doing all the calling and when I called him he would either not pick up or cut the conversation short, right?


We are going to keep our friends in our life. If we benefit by having the person there, we are going to keep them around.

But we weigh the whole package. Is she a good companion? Is she going down the same road as me? That sort of thing.

The physical act of ejaculating doesn't really mean anything. It's just a need--like food or water. To take the act and make it anything more isn't a good direction to go.

You should examine the whole packag, including emotions, integrity of the other person, and compatability.

We all at sometime in our life are probably going to have some sexual encounter with someone who isn't going to be right for us. It's just a learning process.

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posted: 01/11/06 at 2:17 AM

Chone  [more]
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Not really, no (from what I've seen).

More married guys I know start there stories with "When we met we talked all night long and she was different than any woman I've ever been around" than "We used to bang now and then - nothing serious, but then started to really fall for each other".

In fact, I've never heard the latter but the former, or some variant thereof, is pretty common.

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