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Lovingyou.com > Family Matters > Wedding Tips & Advice > Evil Sister-in-law!!!
Evil Sister-in-law!!! Angry posted: 05/24/05 at 2:42 AM

mikesgirl520  [more]
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Hey all, it's me again! Mike and I have 362 days to go until our wedding! Yay!! My dilemma is this, my fiance and I got engaged Xmas Eve 2003, his sister was jealous because her boyfriend couldn't afford her ring then and they'd been together longer (she's a year younger than my fiance by the way). Well in the spring or summer of 2004 her boyfriend finally proposed and she jumped up and put her wedding 7 months before ours. Now at first I didn't mind, but now things are starting to collide, for example, I spoke with our florist and she needs a $99 deposit to hold our date. His mom is paying for our flowers and now she refuses to come up with the deposit now. She's like, I don't know why you guys are planning so early. I'm in school and starting in the months prior to our wedding, I will be starting a new quarter full-time, so I won't want the hassle of planning in between school, work, and everything else. His sister was going to change her date up to August and quickly changed her mind again. Her date is October 2, 2005 and mine is May 20, 2006. I'm not sure how to handle all this frustration I'm feeling about his pushy, me-first, sister. Any advice?!

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Jacob Ryan and Brandon Rider Born May 3, 2006
Isaiah James born November 22, 2010
"We are as the wings of a butterfly, bound
together with the love of God."

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posted: 05/24/05 at 2:48 AM
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Bite your tongue and ALWAYS be the bigger person. Avoid venting to your fiance about the issue because this IS his sister regardless of how she treats you. On the flip side, you ARE his fiance and she needs to start respecting that as well.

It's hard as hell! I have a future sister in law that makes my life HELL to put a smile on her face. I used to argue with her but soon realized it gets me nowhere fast. She'll fight until she wins, so I gave up and play her little game. I do it for myself, I do it for my fiance...but you better believe it makes me crazy!

Have you tried having a heart to heart with her?

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posted: 05/24/05 at 8:59 PM
mrsglad  [more]
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just did it your self. move on. dont let the stress get to you now. have fun planning your day. dont let people get in the way of that. when they ask why you are planning so far ahead tell them so you have time to look around and you can take your time.

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posted: 05/25/05 at 2:46 AM

Beth&Eric  [more]
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Wow his sister sounds like a evil sister in law to me!!! She had to have her wedding before yours so she was the center of attention and not you guys....that would have made me so mad....but you sound like your doing a good job of just keeping your mouth shut and letting the bit** be what she is....

Dont let her or anyone else get to you.....this is your special day and it will all work out for you!!! Your not starting planning too early either....alot of brides start a year early which is what your doing....who cares what others are saying....just plan away and dont let anyone get to you!!! Happy planning!!!

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~ Beth ~

~ Just Married!!! July 22, 2006 ~

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posted: 05/25/05 at 6:57 AM
jcpeters  [more]
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I kinda know how you feel. My fiance's son got engaged about three months ago and is actually getting married next week. I don't really mind, but I was really jealous at first because I felt that he was taking his dad's attention away from our wedding. But I figured that once his son's wedding is over, I get ALL of the attention, so it's alright.
It must be frustrating for you because of planning and flowers, etc. but just hang in there. Once her's is over, you get all the attention. It does suck to have to wait even though you were engaged first, but everything will work out. Besides, by just biting your tongue, you give her no reason to come back down on you again in the future.
Hang in there!

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posted: 05/31/05 at 5:44 AM

kristyn417  [more]
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okay, i must be the evil sister in law.... my fiance's brother and his fiance have been engaged since last october... we got engaged in may and are marrying in september. They are marrying in may 2006. Should i feel evil for marrying first? Is this about MY wedding or hers? Its about MY wedding. I will get married when I want to, not when she feels fit for me to be married. I think that the women who are jealous need to grow up.. sorry to be so harsh, but really, its not a contest, its the greatest and most life changing day you'll ever have.

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i have the best husband in the world

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posted: 06/05/05 at 4:45 PM

CuteeH  [more]
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quote:
Originally posted by Jessica_0982
Bite your tongue and ALWAYS be the bigger person. Avoid venting to your fiance about the issue because this IS his sister regardless of how she treats you. On the flip side, you ARE his fiance and she needs to start respecting that as well.


Jess gave u great advice here...try to be the bigger person and even if u cant stand her try to be civil coz u guys are going to be family now

Good luck

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"Anyone can be normal, but it takes a strong person to be different"

The current mood of cuteeh at www.imood.com

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posted: 06/10/05 at 12:17 AM

RebeccaAnne  [more]
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Yeah, just keep it to yourself. I know its frustrating, but you can't do much about it. Don't vent to your fiance especially. Just try to work through it the best you can. Just enjoy it. Don't worry so much about her. Like Kristyn417 said... its not a contest. This is the most important day of your life, and you don't want to remember getting so stressed and upset over this girl. Just enjoy yourself, and don't sweat the small stuff.

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Whatever you are, be a good one

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posted: 06/10/05 at 12:56 AM
HelpfulSol  [more]
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Ah, nobody said love was perfect! I can tell you, I have put up with some terrible things from my sisters in law. They make Marge Simpson's sisters seem like angels. I have lived with their antics for 50 years now, and over the years I have learned how to (and how not to) respond. First, remember that it is a no-win situation, so you just have to make the best of it. Let her have her day. If you complain to your fiance, it will cause more harm than good, trust me. (That applies before and after each wedding.) I tried gently complaining to my wife a long time ago, and telling her how awfully inconsiderate her sisters were, but she would just get angry and say that my comments just validated all of the horrible things her sisters were saying about me. I've found that the best that I can do is to be overly nice to them. I try to make it obvious, like when a politician shakes the hand of his opponent and smiles at him out of microphone range. I just know they are both thinking something awful about each other, but still smiling and putting up a good front.... Same thing here. Be overly supportive, and congratulate them on their longevity and commitment. That way everyone will be happy (except you...but I've had 50 years of that, and you can get used to it.)

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posted: 06/10/05 at 3:52 AM
Mac26X  [more]
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You better put a stop to this right now. It will only get worse. This bully will back down if you stand up to her.

Your fiance should be supporting you in this.

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