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Lovingyou.com > Love Advice & Tips > Ask A Male > When he says "I love you" too soon...
When he says "I love you" too soon... Question posted: 01/31/05 at 2:11 AM

Denisse810  [more]
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What happens when a guy is going with the relationship too fast or that he says "I love you" too soon?? Is that a good sign?

Well, I met a guy a month ago in a night club but we just talked like for 10 minutes and that`s it. Then he kept calling me every day and saying that he missed me and stuff like that (but we just talked for 10 minutes when we met)... Finally I agreed to go out with him after a month and the first date he was very romantic and we kissed. In the next two dates we were like bf and gf and in the third date he asked me to be his girlfriend and he sad very intense things like he loved me and he wanted to stay with me forever and stuff like that.. The point is that I think he`s going too fast... I don`t know if he`s serious about me or that he`s joking... What means when a guy says "I love you" to soon?? Is he really into me??

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posted: 01/31/05 at 9:56 AM

Shay311  [more]
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Hmm. I was in two similar situations like this one so I hope that what I have to say will provide some kind-of advice to you.

First:

This happend a year and a half ago when I was working at the grocery store. A young man approached me while I was working and he asked me for my phone number. He was tall and very handsome. He aslo seemed quite nice.

So I proceeded to give him my number. A day later, he kept text messaging me, calling me...telling me he missed me. We eventually went out on a date, and things went okay. Wasn't as romantic as yours was. But a little bit later after that he began to tell me he loved me and stuff. I asked him if he was serious but he said he was joking. But then I stopped talking to him b/c I wasn't interested anymore and he started stalking me for about 3 months. I had to change my cell phone number and everything. He even stalked me at my job.


Second Situation:
I met a guy last April. To make a long story short he said he loved me after just two weeks. But I felt the same way. We have been together ever since. I would suggest asking yourself if you love this man that you are seeing, because it can happen, falling in love can happen that quickly and its absolutely amazing and beautiful. If you believe that the relationship is going too quickly, voice your opinion, tell him that you aren't on the same page as he is. If you are on the same page then tell him that you love him. It's as simple as that. Talk to the guy.

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Love is a very fragile flower. It has to be protected, it has to be watered.
The poison of possessiveness and jealousy destroys love. 4/27/04

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posted: 01/31/05 at 10:57 AM

Denisse810  [more]
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Thank you...

Well, I`m very confused... He tells me that he loves me like 10 times a day... but just when we saw each other (like every week).... He asked me to be his girlfriend but I`m not sure if he was joking because he doesn`t call me every day. You think that a boyfriend suposed to call his girl every day??.. I`m very very confused.. I think that I`m starting to have feelings for this guy but I don`t want to give all my heart because maybe he`s joking or he`s not serious (maybe he`s just "wordy")... When I ask him if he`s serious when he say romantic stuff he says "yes".. but I`m not sure, I don`t want to get hurt...

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posted: 01/31/05 at 11:28 AM

scarlet25  [more]
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If he says he means it, then most likely he does. If he was joking, then he would tell you. I can't imagine someone joking, yet continue saying they are serious about it. UNless the person is extremely immature and hoping for sex by saying it.
If he was worried you didn't reciprocate, then maybe he would say he was joking to not freak you out. That's not to say he'll feel that way forever. But for now, if you feel the same way, then just enjoy it and take it a day at a time. If you spend too much time worrying if he is joking or if he means it, then you are wasting your time. I don't necessarily mean wasting your time with him. I just mean worrying is wasting your own time. If you want to know if he is serious, then have a talk with hiim. Don't just ask, "are you joking?" or "are you serious?" Sit down and communicate. Find out how important the words I love you are to him. Does he often say this to girlfriends or not. Does he only say it when he is drunk? In the meantime, I would just sit back and enjoy it. A good thing can be ruined just by questioning it constantly. Talk about it with him and leave it at that. The more you act like you could get hurt, some day it just may sneak up on you. People don't like to be questioned constantly. If I had to explain myself over and over again, I would eventually get irritated and start to regret mentioning it in the first place. I don't think you can set a time frame on when the right time is supposed to be for I love you's. You just know when the right time is. I can't explain it, but you just know. If you're scared and worried about saying it, then chances are it's not the right time. Sometimes, you know it and the words don't need to be said.
I would suggest first, figuring out how you feel. If you aren't ready to say I love you, it doesn't mean the relationship is doomed. Different people are ready at different times, which can sometimes cause tension. If you are ready, then go for it. Don't do it just because he is.

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posted: 01/31/05 at 11:37 AM

Denisse810  [more]
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Thank you! and the other question that I have is that if you think that a guy supposed to call his girlfriend every day.. I`m not sure if we are boyfriend and girlfriend! It`s a weird situation because he asked me to be his girlfriend this past friday night in the club while we were dancing (I`m not sure if he was drunk, I don`t think so..).. I asked him if he was serious and he said yes.. Saturday he didn`t call me but he came at night by surprise with his group of friends (boys and girls) and we went out to have a dinner... He was by my side all the time, he hugged me and holded my hand most of the time. But he didn`t kiss me or said anything romantic to me... Today that is sunday he didn`t call me at all.. I sent him a message but he didn`t replied... I`m not sure what we are... Are we bf and gf or just friends with benefits??

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posted: 01/31/05 at 5:04 PM

xt1  [more]
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*cough* Its called being way way way too attracted to you. He's so desperate to win you over that he'll say things without the feelings to back up the meaning behind them. *cough*

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xt1

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posted: 02/03/05 at 12:10 PM

Shay311  [more]
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lol thats a good point xt1

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Love is a very fragile flower. It has to be protected, it has to be watered.
The poison of possessiveness and jealousy destroys love. 4/27/04

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posted: 02/09/05 at 6:18 PM

l_elena_r  [more]
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My husband told me also soon that he loved me. It was simply how he felt. I said it back only when I was sure, a few months later. And it wasn't about sex - we had sex eight years and a half later, on our wedding night.

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Elena

"Don't worry, be happy!"

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posted: 02/09/05 at 6:46 PM

SilvaStar  [more]
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i would wonder why he's fallen so fast, and yes, be cautious. i mean, if he can fall in love this quickly, he can fall out of love just as fast.

i'm going out on a limb here, but if his emotions can so quickly become passionate, i can't help but wonder if he's the same with his anger as he is with his love-quick and overbearing...

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posted: 02/21/05 at 7:50 PM
sensative  [more]
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I was told after 2 weeks that He loved me said it scared him etc and things had already moved on a stage further so it wasn't said for sex or anything. this guy seemed genuine said all the rest like I was gorgeous beutifull eyes that he's so lucky and wouldn't would love to settle down with me all in the space of 2 months but I too felt the same we planed going away for a weekend in march then a holiday in april a week later

I said something to upset him and wham 1 were over!

I haven't a clue whats going on in his head!

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