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std posted: 08/12/12 at 2:03 AM
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My neighbor got an stds from a guy she had been seeing. She accepts responsibility but she is hurt because he led her on.
It comes out he has been sleeping with others but tries to insinuate it was her because he knew they were clean. She asks him how and then he doesn't know anything. She had been tested and was only sleeping with him.
She tells him he needs to get tested but won't tell him which ones it is. He is upset. She feels like he gave it to her so it is his responsibility to wait and wonder and take them all just like she did.
It sounds bitchy but at the same time why does she have to be the bigger person.
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posted: 08/12/12 at 3:37 PM
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I assume we're talking herpes? Herpes can be transmitted even with condoms. It's a risk you take for having sex with someone before testing. If we're talking chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis than it's cured with Antibiotics.
Never assume your partners are clean because they say so. 80% of people with HSV-2 do not even know they carry the virus because they never had any symptoms. If you ask your doctor for a full std testing it does not includes herpes, you need to specify you want to be tested for hsv-1 and hsv-2. Why it's set up that way? Because 25% of the population carry this virus, it has no consequences on the health unless you are immunodeficient. If you are a new H carrier the virus can be present in your blood but still show negative for 3 months so someone that had sex with a partner 2 months ago, meet someone new and test negative could still be a carrier and not know.
Yes, she could have had this for a while and not know.
When I got my first H outbreak last October I had a new partner. When I spoke to my doctor he said all indicated this new partner had infected me. When my result came in my doctor said it could not be this new partner because my test was positive for antibodies. If my new partner had been the one infecting me my test would have been negative because it takes up to 3 months before my body develop antibodies therefore if he was the one who had infected me my test should I have been negative. Because my test was positive and I showed a high level of antibodies my doctor determined I contracted H a long time ago and had been asymptomatic.
The man I dated back then never wanted to get tested. Even though we had sex WHILE I had an outbreak, which put him at risk at 99% to get it, he preferred living in ignorance then being tested.
I have been dating a different man for 9 months. Someone that does not have H. Once in a while I tell him to go get tested, he doesn't want to. He says as long as he doesn't see anything on him he's confident he doesn't have anything. Which is ridiculous!! In the last 9 months we've dated I have never had any H symptoms yet I do carry the virus.
This man attitude is typical. I am part of a std support group and that is how most men react to std. Most of them prefer to not know and shed the responsibility on their partner. I know a few women who discovered they had herpes after 10 years + of being married. No one cheated, H is a virus that can stay dormant for years and years then awake later in life. These women never cheated, dragged their husband to their doctor, doctor confirms to their husband it's an old infection from 10 years ago, 20 years ago, and the husband still doesn't believe it and leaves the wife thinking she had to cheat to get this.
I will give you (her) the advice my doctor gave me. Don't try to figure it out. You will never know where you got it. If the boyfriend is not adult enough to understand how this virus works then move on to a smarter man.
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