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posted: 05/16/13 at 3:26 PM
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| Had a nice 2nd date. He comes off as pretty shy. He says things that indicate he'd like to pursue this more, but at the end of the night, he didn't walk me to my car. But he's nice and a good kind of different than I've dated before. I'm a little on the fence about him but I'm willing to let it play out a little longer. I guess I'm just more used to guys who are little more physical but being a gentleman definitely isn't a deal breaker!
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posted: 05/16/13 at 3:41 PM
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So, I don't know if you read in one of my threads how E used to just leave me in the middle of the parking lot instead of walking me to my car.
Well, I was telling this story to my daughter's best friend, a young man 28, a really good guy from a good family, good education and all . He's also giving a try to online dating. Anyway, so I was telling him this story of E not walking me to my car and his face just dropped !! and he said 'damn it! I never walk women back to their car! what an idiot I must look like'. lol, So since then he walks his dates to their car.
Your guy may just be clueless. If you like each other otherwise then give it a go. At some point tell him you would like he walks you to your car. He's probably gonna feel stupid for not having done it before.
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posted: 05/16/13 at 5:34 PM
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You have just moved this young guy up in the decency score for many women, Gail  I'm sure he is thanking you every time his date gets safely in with the door shut.
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Rodger Swan 12/19/1986-1/26/2010 Gone too soon, remembered forever. R.I.P my friend.
You have everything that I have to give; it is the only way that Love truly exists. You and I are each One, and we are both One~E
I cannot be accurately judged by the meat and bone wrapped around me - its features were not my choice.~E
I Love you. Love Me as I Love you, you are Me. you are not me; only here are we we, separate rather than Me, One.~E
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posted: 05/17/13 at 8:29 PM
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| This is a good one -- when I dabbled again in online dating several weeks ago, there was a guy I exchanged a few emails with and then text, but very minor and he ended up not replying to my last reply to his, then about two weeks later I get a text just saying, "Hello...____, here" nothing else. I deleted that text. Now...what at least 4 or 5 weeks later, I get a text from him again this morning, "Hello. It's _______." Like I'm supposed to even remember who he is??? LOL.
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Live in a way that leaves no regrets.
Strive most to understand what you fear most.
To change our lives, we must first change our minds.
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posted: 05/21/13 at 5:18 AM
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Well I'm not holding the not walking me to my car thing against him- it was a very well-lit area so I didn't feel unsafe. I just thought that most guys use that as a way to make a move.
I'm feeling conflicted. Saw nice guy at an event we went to separately with friends over the weekend. There was only a really brief interaction and brief texting over the weekend. Then he texted on Sunday night, indicating he wants to see me again next weekend and I should give him a call to talk about it more. I kinda wish he would just call me instead? Am I being silly for wanting to be chased a little? Or should I just stop thinking "rules" and just grow a pair so I can see how this will play out?
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posted: 05/21/13 at 6:30 AM
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He told you he wanted to see you, so just call him. If you dont want him to text it, ask him to call if he wants to make plans next time. It might be a way for either gauging your interest or give you space and not press you too hard if he is asking you to call him. With some people liking it quick these days and some people like it slow...guys rather women just make the decisions instead of pushing them into anything.
Calling you to set up plans after asking through text might sound pushy or aggressive. But giving you the space to chose whether you want to call him or not gives him a better indication of interest and also doesnt make him feel stupid if you dont feel the same way. When you dont call..its less harmful.
If you like him, just call him.
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When I am at work, its like I am Iron Man...I feel invincible when I don the armor of success....
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posted: 05/21/13 at 1:37 PM
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I agree with Fair, call the guy.
I met someone new yesterday. Nice gentleman, nice meeting. Before we left he told me he'd like to see me again and I confirmed I would like that too. He then tells me he's not a text person. If we need to tell each other something to just call. Arrgg! I hate that. Texting is not about having to tell each other something, it's just about touching base, creating a familiarity, you can use that to show your sense of humor, it's a good way to show interest, share your like and dislike etc.
He said he'll call and we'll make plan. I feel I am left in the dark so guess what! I am continuing my fishing!!
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posted: 05/21/13 at 2:45 PM
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I think it's a mistake to get TOO caught up in the details of "how" you communicate initially and base everything on that. I think these days everyone is so confused because we have so many ways to communicate. In the "old days", all we had was telephone and before that, they only had letters and in-person, lol.
Personally, I like texting initially because it avoids that awkwardness of talking on the phone before you really know each other well and it's a tad more personal than an email. Also, these days MOST people use their cell phone and you never know where people are when you call them. If they pick up at a busy time, they might have to cut you off and that never feels good. Or it will go into voicemail and you end up playing phone tag. Texting has its benefits...you give time for the other person to respond at their leisure and it's not high pressure.
If a man says, "call me...." these days I'm prone to saying, "Well...YOU are welcome to call ME." Otherwise, I text until I know that guy a bit better. That said, I think it's important to me prudent in texting...because one inappropriate or poorly planned text could be disastrous!
This guy I've been getting to know is slow and a bit shy, so we've texted, and we're just now getting comfortable where I feel if he called me or I called him, it wouldn't be so awkward. I have no idea what his schedule is and he has no idea what mine is.
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Live in a way that leaves no regrets.
Strive most to understand what you fear most.
To change our lives, we must first change our minds.
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posted: 05/21/13 at 2:54 PM
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| Gail, are you interested enough in this guy to wait a few days? I mean..it seems like at this point you are afraid to stop fishing in fear of being vulnerable to any man that might flake out.
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When I am at work, its like I am Iron Man...I feel invincible when I don the armor of success....
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posted: 05/21/13 at 4:52 PM
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Don't they all flake out? ( I am being sarcastic).
I don't know about the rest of you, I would be interested in reading your take on it, to me a man that would only call me once a week to organize a date for the following weekend is not a man looking to 'connect'. He's looking for a girl to take out once in a while.
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