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posted: 08/07/12 at 7:19 AM
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I like to communicate with my hubby everyday..I guess its a natural thing for us.
My hubby will text me once or twice everyday at work and ask if i have taken my lunch and how's the kids and general stuff etc..(sometime I think he's abit nagging..lol) however, i dont see that as a clingy behavior, in fact i feel that he cares about me and our kids to make sure everything is ok at home.To me, that's really sweet and i love it! Clingy for me would be someone who insist to tag along everywhere i go even when i told them not to..
I would sometime text hubby something cute or naughty and tell him i miss him, I don't wait for the right time, I just text or call him whenever I miss him.When he's on biz trips, he calls home twice everyday and sometime if i missed his calls, he gets worried and he will rush home from work to make sure me and the kids are safe. My 'silly' guy!lol..
Although my life is not just about my hubby and my kids but they are always my top priority and i will spend a lot time with them.My friends are important to me so I will make time for them too, sometime we have girls nite out or a casual gathering , my hubby will babysit our kids and volunteer to wait for me outside the pub and fetch me home. When he goes out with his friends for some golf game or drinks(rarely), i dont join him bcos personally, i believe everyone need alittle space whether you are married or single but anyway, my hubby is a family guy who prefer to spend time with his wife and kids after office hours.
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posted: 08/15/12 at 10:10 AM
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Thanks everyone for the replies!
I did ask him a week ago what he thinks, and he said I'm not 'too much' at all, and that he would tell me if I was. He's been without a phone for a month though, so it's kinda hard to have 'natural communication' anyway. We'll see what happens when he gets it back.
But I do have a feeling we'll never be the kind of couple that calls each other once a day. We'll send a text a day, maybe, but not much more than that. It sounds more like blondgrrl's relationship (in terms of communication anyway ). I wouldn't mind more, though, especially since we usually only see each other on weekends. It's not keeping me awake at night and I got other stuff to do also, but I like to keep in contact a little bit... we'll see what happens when he gets his phone back.
Rei - well, I would take the cue from him, but if it was up to him, he would chat with me once a week, and that isn't enough for me. This is literally the only negative thing I've discovered about him though, so maybe I just need to deal with it.
Fair - I'm totally not the person that would just text 'Hi'. If I get in touch, it's to actually talk about something, to convey information, to make plans...
Well, we'll see what happens when he gets his phone back. I'll let you know.
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posted: 08/18/12 at 4:57 PM
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I enjoyed your post- can totally understand one persons clingy is another person's aloofness.
It was the one times in my life that I threw caution to the wind and loved him with a passion- I said I usually held back and that was the unravelling of a relationship in my past-
I had always had this 'fear' that if I opened up this heart of mine and loved without any concern to anything but that moment in time, that I would be swallowed up but more importantly, my partner might run away or implode with ths suddenly released sensuality-LOL
Okay, It felt Great to feel safe enough to open up to hm 100% and I then told him how I had held back before- he said something to me that began the shrinking process of my drawing back"If you were any more affectionate-I would be overwhelmed" the guy was a psychoanalyst so I took it to heart-that I was too affectionate- too much- too loving- too kind- too generous- felt he thought I really was uber affectionate and it killed whatever fences I had torn down-
Now I think back to that younger woman I was and how uncontrived I was- so open.
Since then, the couple of times I have placed trust in myself, I can never seem to get back that feeling of letting go. It probably cost me the last relationship-I honestly don't feel any sense of any expectation anymore- Maybe I have grown-But I miss that part of me that felt the insecurity and longing and wanting more-I am sure it will happen again if/when I meet someone I care a lot about-
I find that how I judge how 'right' whatever I am doing feels, is when I have no hesitation and if I hesitate for a second picking up the phone-I don't pick it up- If I hesitate opening-I don't.Somehow I got the gut feelng wrong that one time but mostly it will steer you right. Also, call a friend and read your email or text before sending it-My gf was great that way-she'd say "Jennifer, delete this and this and THAT is unecessary-You are giving him way too much information- way too much to read- keep it short and to the point (A lesson that is hard for me....to be brief)
I also think that when love it is such a mutual thing it just feels right-no matter what we say or do...Good luck!
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