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“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” - Marilyn Monroe

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Ok... I was on a holiday and then I took a couple of weeks to see how things develop before I wanted to reply here again.
Pusser, I've started making a point of directing my thoughts back to what I'm feeling when my thoughts start wandering. I think it is helping.
I think the issue is getting better. One thing is that I'm beginning to realise that this guy's sex drive and the stuff he likes seems to be closer to what I like too. With my ex, we were LDR, so when we saw each other we were at it all the time, and maybe that was simply too much for me. This new guy now... we don't need to do it every time we spend the night together. On weekdays he has to get up very early so sometimes we just want to cuddle and then sleep. It's also more intimate... it feels like less of a 'performance'. My ex was very big on changing positions every three minutes, which can be fun, and I definitely enjoy experimenting with new stuff - but not all the time, every time, so this new guy is very relaxing in that sense. I hope he doesn't think I'm too 'vanilla', because I'm not really; I'm just really enjoying having very affectionate sex with a lot of kissing and eye contact for a change; something I never had so far. But I'll definitely bring up the topic of some other stuff this week.

Carla - actually, that is my other problem. I can either concentrate on myself or on him, but not both. If I want to come, I have to absolutely, solely focus on myself - but I don't want to exclude him, so sometimes it's difficult to toe that line.

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