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posted: 07/19/12 at 3:33 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by tomie
* they don't shout at you in public even if you are totally wrong.
This one is big for me. I've had friends who have been in relationships that wind up arguing (loudly) in public over a private matter and it's just embarrassing imo.
It goes back to communication.
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posted: 07/19/12 at 5:07 AM
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Great points! I must say that one of my pet peeves is seeing couples (as I so often do) that just speak or act towards each other in nasty ways- tones of voice- etc....I like to be with someone that I treat as if we are on a first date.
My list that I have pasted on here before is a long one but to sum it up....a partner who is unavailable, non-reciprocal, or not open to processing feelings and issues, becomes, by those very facts, unappealing. Once we love ourselves, people no longer look good to us unless they are good for us.
It is important to me when a man is able and willing to give and receive love, to handle feelings, to make a commitment,
Lives reasonably close by('reasonable' at times has become 12,000 miles away-am working on THAT one!!)
Has no distracting ties that make true commitment impossible, such as another relationship in progress, an old relationship unfinished, a divorce pending, (children do not represent an obstacle.
Has no active addictions
Has no overpowering political or religious obsessions
Has the sexual capacity, accessibility, and interest to satisfy you or can work on it within the relationship.
Is your friend and not just your sex partner; loves your company and is compatible
Shares interests with you.
Is on a fairly close intellectual level with you so that you do not need to play down your vocabulary or acumen.
Has done at least half the work it takes to be healthy in life and in relationships.
Can and loves to focus on you in an engaged, lasting way. And importantly...
Meets with the approval of your head, your heart, and your gut.
And the most important -the lack of, that ended the last relationship- someone who doesn't come out and tell you what they are thinking- in spite of the fact they are a communications 'expert' Please talk to me- tell me what you feel at a time when I need to hear it- Don't hold back when you see me puzzled.
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posted: 07/19/12 at 5:49 AM
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I love all the points stated on the blog, who wouldn't? I think that is good advise for anyone in a relationship but in my honest opinion, no one and no relationship is perfect..Even my parents who are so loving after married for more than 30years DO argued at some point,lol..a lot of cute and loving couples who are married for a long time (those I know) do argue at times, too many actually.lol
I'm pretty sure there are guys that would fulfill some of the points here but probably not ALL of them..if a man is everything listed here..I imagine all the women would be so eager to take him home to meet her parents and if she do find such man..she must be really lucky and blessed to find a really rare gem.
Anyway, everyone have different expectations from a partner and a relationship they want.
Mine would be:
1) He loves you faithfully and is responsible to your health, take care of all your needs, listen to your emotions and make you feel secured in every way.
2) He give you hugs, pecks or massage without asking and he is always there for you when you need him.
3) He rush home from work when you missed his calls to make sure that you and the kids are ok and safe.:
4) He encourage you when you feel down, stressed or scared and he tells you 'everything will be alright', he holds you tightly, kissing your forehead.( I love it when 'Teddy' does that)
My hubby does that i listed but I can't say he is perfect or my marriage is the best but we love and appreciate each other and this is the life, the future we both want and work hard to achieve our goals together.
Edit : missing words
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"Always BE YOURSELF! No matter what People Think..An Original Is Always Worth MORE Than A COPY! Speak Your Mind and Be Honest! That Is A Good Recipe Of Self-Respect, Self-Love And Self-Worth."
"Double-Standards Are Lies, Hypocrites And Contradictions. Live By What You Preach!!!" 
"Don't Waste Your Time On Revenge, Those Who Hurt You Will Eventually Face Their Own Karma Because What Goes Around, Comes Around And Karma Has NO Dateline.Life Is Too SHORT To Waste Time On Stupid People,Bullies,Haters and Whiners..Don't Ever Let Anyone Bring You Down When You Know You Are Better and Wiser.Be Someone With RESPECT, Good Attitude, Style And Class!" ~WildSnake~
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"There May Be Many Flowers In A Man's Life, But There is Only ONE Rose In His Heart." 
"I love seeing old married couples, it makes me realize that someone can actually LOVE ONE person Faithfully In A Lifetime!..It's BLISSFUL that my hubby is All MINE and the ONLY woman he Loves!" 
"Haters Gonna' Hate! I Laugh Cuz You FAKE! Go And HATE All You Want, Know I'm Something That You Ain't !!!" ~Hon Raps~
"Be A Light, Not A Judge.Be A Model, Not A Critic! I Do Not Judge People By The Scriptures Of Their Faith And The Scars From Their Past, I Embrace Them By The Contents Of Their HEARTS And KINDNESS." 
***  Read My Blogs On Profile ***
Last edited by wildsnake88 on 07/19/12 at 6:38 AM
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posted: 07/19/12 at 5:26 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by tomie
* they don't shout at you in public even if you are totally wrong
They should never yell at me, period. Not in public, not in private.
My parents have been married for 47 years and I have never once heard them raise their voice at each other. It's beyond me why I have accepted that from my partners in the past.
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