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My ex...Playing Matchmaker...:S..!?!? posted: 11/19/09 at 8:01 PM
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My ex....he and I ended on bad terms for the most part but we still try to be civil...couple hi and hello and how are you texts from time to time....the prolonged break up was about 8wks ago...
Anyway...I had an interesting conversation and couldnt quite figure if the was really trying to play matchmaker.....I personally dnt like the idea of it and felt somewhat belittled and degraded, feelin pawned off...
Heres the convo:
Me: How did the weather treat you....
He: it was fine. A bit lonely but fine...What about you?
Me: Terrible...I got flood out inside and out...a bit lonely too but my kids kept my company for the most part :-)
He: Ok. Seeing anyone?
Me: Lets not even go there
He: Ok
Me: Thnk You
He: Is it a forbidden topic? some some dudes was asking about you....seems like they wanna holla at you
Me: Hmmm
He: My thoughts as well
Me: Im sure
He: One dude wanted yr number and I told him if he's not willing to take the time to get to know you and settle, then leave her alone. But I didnt give him your number
Me: I see...why are they asking you and I wonder what else you told the 'boys'
Him: They prob figure because we have mutual friends...and i told them nothing...nothing to worry about.
Me: Some of the things you do just amaze me
Him: Hmmm
Me: You should be proud. You achieved exactly what you set out to do. gd nite. End.
Im just at lost...cnt make sense of it...
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posted: 11/19/09 at 8:48 PM
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| So wait, I'm confused. You don't want him to hook you up with anybody, and he had mentioned in a conversation with you that someone he know wanted your number but he didn't give it to them. I guess I just don't understand what you're so upset about. Also, if things ended poorly with your ex, what do you still talk with each other?
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posted: 11/19/09 at 9:40 PM
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8 weeks is not enough time to process the break up. Stop texting. You can't be 'friends". you dont' have to hate each other but that means being civil when you accidently bump into each other. It doesn't mean initiating contact of any kind including texts.
Don't analyze this b/c there is nothing to analyze. take some comfort in the fact that your EX is not giving out personal contact info about you to random people but that is all there is to it.
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posted: 11/20/09 at 3:48 AM
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You're right; it isn't his place to try and hook you up with anybody. Don't try to rationalize his behavior because there's no point; curiosity kills the cat.
Six months - as in six months minimum of no contact. After this time has elapsed, feel free to check up just to see how he is doing. If you still want to talk to him at this point that is.
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Be wary, as not all that is beautiful is also good.
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posted: 11/20/09 at 4:10 AM
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I have an old thread here on the same topic. An ex asked about setting me up. It was after a year apart thogh. At first I was flattered she thought enough of me to try to get me together with a friend. I also thought; if anyone would understand what I was looking for in a realtionship, she would. I decided to agree to her idea.
Once I expressed that I was open to the idea, she didn't follow through and blamed it on me. As much as I hate to think, it seems she had a different motive. I can only guess what. Just to see if I had feelings for her? did she have feelings for me still? Was she somehow trying to re-justify why she broke up? None of these ideas make sense because they go against what I think is her character. It also doesn't make sense she would try to set me up. It also doesn't make sense that once she offered, she didn't follow through. Then again; it doesn't make sense that I agreed to the idea, twice.
I don't know that I have advice. I am just guessing that his motives are probably for himself. He may truly think he is sincere. He may not think, or realize, he is screwing with your mind. But I doubt he is really looking out for you. I think it is more part something he is trying to work out for himself.
It doesn't make sense so don't try to make it. I also agree with the others that you may be best to completely cut contact. If you want to talk months from now, think about it then. For now, staying in contact just delays moving forward for yourself
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posted: 11/21/09 at 6:29 AM
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I once had my ex give his friend AND his little brother my phone number. They BOTH called and said "I hear you're single now... let's hook up" in so many words. This was maybe a week or 2 after we split. I was furious! I mean, really? I think he was just trying to hurt me. But it more just made me angry that he was just out handing out my phone number to people.
Either way, I would just chalk it up to him trying to see if you have moved on yet. He probably came up with the "friend wants to holla" story after you didn't want to answer him to save his own ego for asking. But I wouldn't take him seriously or even bother discussing it if you must talk at all. It's none of his business or his friend's business if you're seeing someone or not. Let him wonder. But not because you want him back. Do it because you know that someday you will meet someone that's better and more compatible with you.
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It's all a learning experience... as long as you're willing to learn.
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