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Is football really that important?  posted: 10/12/09 at 12:20 AM
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Hey there guys. I really need your help, comments, advise please.
I've been with my bf for almost a year now. And although our relationship has had it's up and downs (more than any other relationship I've been in) I love him and we always make it work. Weve actually come a long way when it comes to the way we communicate and argue/fight. Anyway, to ge to the point of my post.
Football! Grrr...I am starting to hate this whole football season. It means I he will not leave my bed on sundays. Everything revolves around the f-ing game!!
Now, sundays have always been my family days, days which he had been attending until recently. Now he refuses to go because he's watching the game, even if I suggest recording it! I don't know, it just makes me feel like sports are much more important to him than me.
Maybe I'm over reacting...but this added to the fact that he seems to be uninterested in sex for the past week...sigh..Im fearig there is more to it. Maybe he's lost interest in me and our relationship? Grr..I hate this. I'm really bad when it comes to stuff like this...I jump to conclusions and work myself up. But I really do have this nagging feeling...that's maybe its more than the football. Like last tuesday, he spent the night and normally if we spend the night..we have sex. But no, we didn't. So when I asked him about it the next morning he said he had been tired. I asked if it was me, was he no longer attracted to me? I told him I hadn't felt very sex lately. So he said no no, that he loved me and my body. So, having said that shouldn't he had tried a lil harder to "make me feel sexy" the next time we saw each other? We've spent the night together twice since that and nada...no sex...still the I'm too tired or I'm too full....wtf? I can't help but assume that something is wrong.
What do you think? What should I do? Please feel free to ask questions. I know sometimes additional info is necessary to give proper advice.
Thanks in advance guys!
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posted: 10/13/09 at 4:34 PM
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First of all, yes you may be jumping to conclusions. I see two separate issues here.
First, the football. For many guys it is huge. For me, I am in the middle. I love watching football, but I am not devastated if something more important gets in the way. Disappointed, yes, devastated, no. One thing that helps us is that my wife likes it as much as I do. We often cuddle up naked on the couch and watch it together. You might try that some. You know what he is like in this area and you either need to accept it or move on. Changing him will not work. I think that you both need to work out a compromise, but you need to realize that he may not compromise on this at all. You need to decide if you can live with this.
Now to the sex issue. Should he have tried harder to make you feel sexy? Probably, but Can he read your mind an know what that looks like to you? I hear women say things like that...like men should just know what you need to make you feel sexy, loved, etc. He has to learn that. Maybe something is wrong, maybe not. Why don't you try coming on to him? I think you are linking the two issues.
Talk to me...what are your thoughts?
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“The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality – the husband seeking to satisfy his wife and the wife seeking to satisfy the husband. Marriage is not a place to ‘stand up for your rights.’ Marriage is a decision to serve the other whether in bed or out.” 1 Cor, 7: “The Message”
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