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Lovingyou.com > Love Advice & Tips > Life Advice > Punctuality in a relationship
Punctuality in a relationship posted: 04/13/04 at 7:50 PM

bowhunter  [more]
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I am currently reading a book titled, GUIDLINES FOR FINDING YOUR WAY, a section i read last night dealt with punctuality, the botton line as stated in the book, was that when someone is not on time for what ever, lunch,meeting, dinner, movie, what they are saying to you is that they them selves are more important than the lunch,meeting,dinner, movie , and you can wait for them.
The relationship i am in, and the woman in it has a bad punctuality problem, with seeing me, or getting to work,
just looking for opinions on this subject.
Thanks.

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posted: 04/13/04 at 8:40 PM

dolphinlover  [more]
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Bowhunter, I tend to agree with the book. I can understand being late due to an accident on the road, or other unforseen circumstances... it happens to the best of us.

Being constantly late to everything... now that I see as an issue. This person needs to get his or her priorities in line... They need to respect other people's time. They need to be more responsible, more dependable. In the workplace, these people may have problems if the tardiness continues...

Personally, I am very punctual to everything. I'm usually at work 20 to 30 minutes early... I hate being late for anything, it bothers me. So it bothers me when I have to wait for someone.

just my opinion

dolphin ;-)

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posted: 04/13/04 at 8:44 PM

bambi75  [more]
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That is why i don't read books like this. You see a little scenerio or something tht resembles your relationship and then it makes you think too deep into it.
I am not late for the most part but i am never early for things with my b/f or anywhere else for that matter.
I simply don't feel like waiting once i get somewhere....i have other things i could be doing

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posted: 04/13/04 at 10:38 PM

Pusser  [more]
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Hunter, I believe it's POSSIBLE that lateness could be a sign of disrespect, but for most people, it's not. In my wife's case, it's due to her trying to accomplish too much in too little time.

So I think it's wrong to suggest that being late is rudeness, except to a selfish person, for whom others' behavior is somehow a reflection on that selfish person.

In our society, it permissible (especially for women) to be late for social engagements. Lateness probably reflects priority and time management issues more often than lack of respect for the person waiting on him/her.

Pusser


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posted: 04/13/04 at 11:56 PM

MidnightKiss  [more]
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I'm late to certain things, but it's not because I don't care. I'm usually early (I used to be at least 15-30 minutes early to everything!), but I'm late to work sometimes because I am just not a morning person & it's hard for me to get motivated. It's not because I disrespect people. I just need to wake myself up.

Other issues can cause tardiness for people--traffic, weather, etc. I realize it's important to be on time. Always being late to everything can be a cause for concern...there are certain individuals who don't care, but not everyone that is late disrespects others. I think in general we stress ourselves out by pushing ourselves to the limit. This, in turn, can be bad because it can cause us to run a bit behind schedule.

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posted: 04/14/04 at 2:35 AM

supersonic  [more]
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Please, being late somewhere has NOTHING to do with not respecting other people.. at least not to me. If I'm late somewhere (I am one of those people that has a hard time getting somewhere on time) it's becuase I didn't budget my time well, got up late, or there was traffic. It rarely has anything to do with the people at the places I'm tardy too.

I guess I can understand where you're coming from though. My mother, god bless her, used to be late to every single engagement. There would be times when I had to be picked up from swimming and she'd be a half hour to an hour late in doing so. It made me feel like she didn't care and that I just wasn't important to her.

We're not all perfect.. things just happen or you get caught up in something I guess.

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posted: 04/14/04 at 7:04 AM
Moe_2004  [more]
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I have a problem with being on time for things including getting to my boyfriend's house at the time we agreed. I know I CAN get to where I have to be ontime because I never would leave someone standing on the street or in a bar waiting for me, but I find it very difficult to organise myself. I am working on this and my boyfriend is very understanding, but it certainly is NOT to do with respect or lack of it in my case I am just really bad at it! I stress out totally when I am late for something and swear each time I will not let it happen again! Also I am so crazy about my boyfriend I can't wait to get there, so I don't know why it happens, and I must stop it cos I know it is unfair.

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posted: 04/14/04 at 9:46 AM

Dark_Star  [more]
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I don't place much emphasis on punctuality. It more depends on the situation though. I dated a guy that was always late in picking me up,always. I had no problem letting that slide.
But I was starting a schooling course and he promised to drive me there the first day. He was an hour and 45 minutes late! Which would have made me over an hour late for my first day of this class. He offered to take me and he had promised so I did get very upset on that occassion. Actually I broke up with him as soon as he arrived. *shrugs shoulders*

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posted: 04/14/04 at 10:08 AM

Waterlily  [more]
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Punctuality doesnt mean too much to me. I have many friends who are always late when we get together. We just meet at a place that wouldnt matter if anyone was late. None of my friends are late because they disrespect me or anything. Things happen thats out of their control too. And even if it was because they didnt manage their time to get ready or whatever it doesn't bother me. I love them for who they are including their non-punctualness. They just have to buy me dinner

If punctuality is an issue to someone though, I do believe it would be better if that person was with someone who was punctual.

I hate to make people wait, but I don't mind waiting.

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Be patient. It will happen for you. Sooner or later, life will get weary of beating on you and holding the door shut on you, and then it will let you in and throw you a real party! - Les Brown

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posted: 04/14/04 at 2:38 PM

ebctravel227  [more]
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I like to be early or on time. I hate that feeling of being late for work but with friends they don't care if I am a few minutes late due to getting ready or something. But for the most part, I am on time.

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