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Lovingyou.com > Family Matters > Divorce Support > Good bye Letter to my wife...
Good bye Letter to my wife... posted: 10/28/03 at 5:20 PM
New2Me  [more]
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First I need to apologize to you for acting the way I did and questioning you the way I had. You and I are facing new challenges and obstacles that
are alien and new to me, and you as well I presume. Thank you for sharing with me that you are now seeing someone else, You didn't have too. I've felt that this has been the case and I needed to know this was true which is why I had confronted you the way I had. I've been desperately hold on to the last thread of hope that has lingered in my heart but the moment had arrived for myself, and I needed to confront it. I could no longer lie to myself and believe in a dream...Since that's all it was.

Thank you for all the memories that we've shared together during our relationship. Through all the up's and down's, bad and good, and everything in between you have been there as best you could. It's unfortunate that it takes the most extreme situations to finally see the light and see who we really are.

Both you and I haven't really had a change to grow since we chose a path in our lives that most could not have dealt with. We married young, had kids, and struggled for 14 years. We both did the best we could. I don't think there's a couple on this earth that could have confronted the challenges we've had.

You may not know this but it has been your emotional support that has kept me to strive and move forward and try to make better lives for our family. It's ironic that you remember me for putting you down when it was me who had you on pedestal when someone asked about you, I always told whomever how supportive you were, how your caring attitude always carried the hearts of others. But I forgot to tell these things to you. This is why I could never let go really, you have something special inside you which is...giving. Your thoughtfulness and caring has always astonished me probably because this is something in me that is lacking. I hope that this quality in you never fades. Also...you were a good wife, outside of the negative aspects of our relationship you went out of your way to try and make things happen the best you could, regardless of motive. I loved it when you made new and fantastic concoctions for dinner, even though sometimes my taste buds didn't agree. Your interesting and decorative fancy always put a smile on my inner self - i.e, Christmas....the garland strung up across the room, Thanksgiving and all the other holidays were you brightened up the room.

I've come to accept now the fact that you aren't coming home. For this I am sad. I think that we may have had the opportunity to see a different future as a couple if maybe I had not been so hard headed and arrogant, you had been faithful and true, and the both of us had been more honest and open with one another. I do not want this new phase in our lives to turn ugly and mean...for the sake of the children. Both you and I have hid our emotions, one of which is anger...and I hope that it doesn't rear it's ugly head. I will no longer ask you personal questions about your life, you and I have our new roads to face alone and contend with.

My heart aches, my soul longs to fill this emptiness, and in time I will heal. I've have truly rediscovered my music which helps sooth my soul, I'm learning how to trust and love myself in hopes that maybe I can return it to someone else some day, and letting go... letting someone else have control, it's exhausting.

And I think that I've finally let go of the last thread of hope.

I wish you luck in your endeavors and dreams and that you find whatever it is that is missing in your life.

For me...I forgot to stop and smell the roses. You and the kids are my roses...unfortunately one rose has died and withered away...the caretaker of the rose stopped caring and only concerned himself if the rose had water...he forgot about the sunlight.

If there is ever a moment in your life and you want to share your...

Always and Forever,

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posted: 10/28/03 at 7:03 PM

TornSoul  [more]
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That is just awesome. I wish you well.

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Absence is to love as wind is to flame; it extiguishes the weak and feeds the strong.

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posted: 10/28/03 at 10:50 PM

amydawn27  [more]
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That letter came straight from the heart and therefore Im sure she will appreciate you being honest!

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http://community.webshots.com/user/amydawn27

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posted: 10/29/03 at 4:55 AM

evergreenOne  [more]
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It made almost tear in my eye...
Thanks for sharing it.
Best wishes.
---Monica

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posted: 11/07/03 at 9:15 PM

oceansidegal  [more]
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nice letter....you are a much better person than me, my letter would not have been so sweet!

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May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make
you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you
happy

------------------------------------------------
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.

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posted: 11/08/03 at 2:20 AM
New2Me  [more]
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Thank you everyone for your kind words!
and it not that I'm better...we just do it differently

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posted: 11/13/03 at 4:49 AM

blondie83ks  [more]
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i think it is wonderful how you compliment her. though i do not know your situation, you make it sound like everything is your fault. i've always believed that 2 people are responsible for what may lead up to a divorce. your kids may get wind of some of this and hold you responsible for breaking up the family. just a thought.

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posted: 11/14/03 at 2:31 AM
New2Me  [more]
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I understand that it may appear that I that fault is all mine. My intent was to be open about what I did or did not do in the relationship.

I can't speak for her, she has never openly admitted to any part that she has played, good or bad. For me it was just my goodbye, letting go, and moving on. I hope one day she'll share with me like I've shared with her, but I'm not holding my breath.

I could've brought up the point about how she cheated, lied, and broke up the family since it was her who wanted out...but that we do more harm than good. I have the kids 75% of the time, while she's out enjoying her new single life, but that's ok...cause right now it's not about me ...It's about the kids.

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posted: 11/14/03 at 8:19 PM

Joe Blogg  [more]
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Divorce is a terrible thing to go through & has many negative side effects!

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Wink posted: 11/21/03 at 11:55 AM
imaginedance  [more]
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I think your letter was very inspiring. I am currently going through a divorce and I truly believe that there are at least 3 phases that one goes through. I respect that fact that you realized that you needed closure to move forward. Most men have a difficult time closing relationships. You often find that the woman need to have closure. Your letter inspired me to do a letter to my soon to be ex-husband, and to be quite honest I feel better. As you, I married very young and couldn't tell me ass from my head, but I believe that it truly was a great learning experience, and I can now take the does and don'ts into my next relationship. Not saying that I will still do everything right, I will continue to make mistakes as I grow, but I will definitely know what not to do. I've learned to communicate better and be more open about my feelings, which is key to any relationship.
So, thank you very much for the inspiration, and good luck to you.

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PRINCESS

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