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Lovingyou.com > Long Distance Support > Online Romance > Sick of my long distance relationship!!
Sick of my long distance relationship!! Angry posted: 10/20/03 at 9:03 AM

Jinxster  [more]
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Hi Everyone,

I'm really getting sick and tired of my LDR! I've been in it for almost 2 years and I've had enough. I'm tired of waiting for him to finally decide to come down here. I'm sick of him coming up with different excuses for why he can't see me or why he's stuck in his hometown. I'm at the point that I wish I never got into this in the first place! I've committed a lot of my time, effort, and most important - FEELINGS into something that he just takes for granted! I don't want to break up with him, I want to be with him with all my heart...HOWEVER I tend to be more logical about things and I don't like to le my heart make my decisions for me. A lot of things have happened..and now he's saying that he wants until this upcoming Friday to come down here...and that I should break up with him if he does not come down...but I've heard this so many times before. Things are pretty serious about the final break up but I don't know....I really love him a lot and really want to give him until Friday to see if he really follows thru this time...but from past experience I'm almost certain he won't come! It's as though every time I'm about to break up with him, he wants just one more week to prove himself (which he NEVER does) AHHHHH!! I'm going NUTS! I really want to just get my life together..but at the same time I would love it if he were still in it...so I don't know what to do! This message probably made no sense...it's really a long complicated story..but from what's been said in this message, I'd love it if somebody gave me some suggestions or advice!

Thanks!!

Jinx

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Jinxster

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posted: 10/20/03 at 9:45 AM

monsterina  [more]
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Hi there,

I don't have time to search your older posts right now, but I was wondering have you met in person at all yet? It's a different situation if he's been avoiding a first meeting for 2 years.

You may as well give him one last chance to see you on Friday.

If you have been before, do you have any plans to one day make this a non-LDR?

Sounds like you're having more problems and hassle than happiness in your relationship. Hopefully he will come to see you and you can spend some time working out how to improve things.

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posted: 10/20/03 at 12:11 PM

BlissfulKiss  [more]
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Hello Jinx....
Sounds like if he does not come through you will know that you should move on. I'm sure your frustration is practially unbareable, and I really feel for you on this, I'm so sorry to hear it. I really hope that you get a chance to meet.
Hugs,
Bliss

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posted: 10/20/03 at 5:07 PM

evergreenOne  [more]
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Hi,
Sounds complicated. How far apart you 2 live? Have you ever met?
Give him this last chance and see what will happen at Friday. If he come then talk to him face to face and find a way that works for you 2.
If not then just leave.. LDRs are always hard, but are worth it as long as it makes sense.. but you seem really frustrated in your relationship.. and this just doesn’t make sense anymore, does it?
Hope things work good for you.
---Monica

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posted: 10/21/03 at 1:16 AM
shorty1108  [more]
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Hey Jinx,
Im new to the forum but i can relate. Ive been in an LDR for 2 years myself and i got tired of waiting so im going up to see him. My advice...i think you should talk to him and let him know how his actions or lack of there of is affecting you. There have been many times where ive just about given up and have seriously contemplated breaking up with him but then we talk things out and let each other know how we feel about things and usually it works out. Maybe you should put yourself in his shoes perhaps he's scared and needs all these excuses to compensate for how he's really feeling. If when everything's said and done and you still feel like maybe you are better off then end it on good terms...maybe you two could still be friends or something. Good luck to you.

Shorty1108

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posted: 10/21/03 at 11:53 PM

~Kamie~  [more]
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I also am wondering if you have met before, also, how far apart are you? Ah I researched and found your in Northern Cali and he's in Southern Cali... not far at all.

I don't see harm in giving him one last shot to meet... but out of curiosity, why does he have to be the one to come to you?

REading over another post you made, it seems like he showers you with gifts, including a white gold diamond ring, yet you have not met yet? Plus his cousin, a good friend of yours has visited you 5 times... something isn't right here.

You say in this same thread you have offered to go see him, but

quote:
Oh, also, I've offered to go down there myself...which I really really don't want to do cuz (1) i'm scared of flying and (2) I seriously have this thing that he shoud be the one to come see me...but he's said no 'n agreed that he should be the one to come here 'n all that....oh, plus i know myself well 'n unfortunately if i were to go there, i would just be really pist off the whole time / lol


WHy do you have to fly? Can't you take a bus? If you are holding him to the standards that he has to see you first... errr. Not a good plan I don't think.

It seems to me that you have given him many chances, and taking into account the fact that you aren't going there and him understanding this - leaves me thinking you have given him the right to keep cancelling.

If he doesn't show up, then I think it's best you end it. OR go yourself.

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posted: 10/24/03 at 11:51 AM

Luvlybabi  [more]
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i havent seen my online love before and we have been together for 2 years. it's tough...realli realli tough that it hurts deep down in ur heart. i have felt that it isnt going anywhere but...what keeps me from leavin him are the good times we have together...those times i cherish alot. i know how you feel...but if u really want to be with this person, you have to have patience. that's what u have. me and my s/o is realli far and we are a bit young...so my chances are kinda low...but i dont let the distance keep me away from him.

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posted: 10/26/03 at 1:03 PM

Jinxster  [more]
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Hi Everyone,

Thanks so much for your replies. Well here's what happened...he doesn't want me to come down there, he gets pist off when i mention it...so I finally decided that I would just get off my @$$ 'n drive there myself on the 16th. I decided on Wednesday I would go and since he's always making excuses about why i shouldn't go there, I didn't tell him about it...I lied (shame on me) about where I would be the night before (told him had to drop off a relative in sacramento 'n would spend the night there). Another reason for the lie is that we have free mobile to mobile 'n free long distance on our phone, so I could talk to him 24/7 without getting charged...and he loves taking advantage of that...always keeping me on the phone. So anyway, I left at 5am Thursday morning and got to L.A. around 10am. I know he always goes to the starbucks at topanga mall, so i found a UPS store across the street from it and told them that I drove from Frisco 'n wanted to surprise my BF. I asked them if they could call him and tell him that there's a pkg waiting for him there and that he needs to pick it up asap since he doesn't have a personal mailbox there. Anyway, they called him and at this time I was on the phone with him, pretending to be in sacramento on my way back home. He put me on hold and answered the UPS stores call...then came back to me 'n was upset that I sent him anything (because they would need his I.D. to give it to him...btw, I think he's lying about who he is also). So anyway, he was a punk to me on the phone about it...he got up and went to the grocery store with his mom (me still beingon the phone). he said he was gonna pick up the pkg but his mom needed to get something first...thennn i guess he started thinking about things and he asked if the pkg was bs and that i would just be there myself...that really pist me off. I didn't say anything...neway, i waited at the ups store for him to show up...he never did....his AUNT however did. She supposedly knows about me....her daughter has come to see me several times...but she just ran off when i was trying to ask her what happened to the guy. Anyway, I got on the phone with him and dunno what happened, but we started fighting. I told him i was there...but instead of saying anything, he started yelling at me about my lie to him the night before asking me where the hell i was the night before, like i was out with some other guy or something. I tried to explain that it doesn't matter and that i would explain to him...but that i was there right now and if he would come...first he refused, then he said his mom had his car when he was in the car with her like 5 minutes before it . He continued about how he doesn't want a girl like me who lies like this 'n that....i started crying 'n didn't know how to get out of the place. i guess he started calling my mom cuz i hung up on him, finally we ended up 3waying, and he told my mom that he doesn't like "girls like that" My mom just calmly told me to just forget it 'n come home....then he gets pist off that my mom doesn't yell at me or something. I was like wth? Anyway, i started to drive back towards the freeway and he was calling me back to back...saying that he would come meet me in an hour and that i should just stay there..i said no thanks and left. Thennnnnn after i got home, he called my mom, as if she wasn't pist off enough at him...he cried like a baby for a while and asked for another chance...that he would come on the 24th (ystdy)...so yesterday he's "driving" here...he leaves the house at 10:30am...and says there's a lot of traffic...at about 3pm, he JUST gets to highway 405 from 101...(it took me less than one hour to get to 405 from where he lives)...then at 3:30pm he tells me that two tires from his car popped as he was entering the freeway from his pit stop and that the airbag blew up in his face and that it broke his glasses and the pressure of it cut his eye which he needed stitches for.....so in the end, he's a liar. sorry i wrote so much, i will write more if anyone has any questions...anyyy advice would help. my whole world has crumbled down and i'm a wreck...i have to be all strong outside to show i don't care to my mom 'n them cuz they're already having problems with other family stuff...and my stuff would just hurt them more...but i'm totally dying inside

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posted: 10/27/03 at 6:58 AM

habibi  [more]
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Hi Jinxster,

I am so sorry to hear this.
One good advise: forget him!

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posted: 10/27/03 at 7:12 AM

evergreenOne  [more]
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Hello again,
I'm truly sorry you had to go through all this..
This guy is just so not worth it.
You may care about him and all, but please try to get over him.
Remember there are a lot of nice guys out there and I'm sure you will find someone great that treat you well as you deserve.
My best wishes.
---Monica

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