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posted: 07/28/12 at 2:25 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Gail65
Are you ladies so wary that you would not give instructions to a strange man?
Depends on the circumstances. If it's the middle of the day, busy street and I have my dog with me, then I'm probably not going to have a problem with it. My dog is huge (a male German Shepherd) and he's also very wary of strangers - if he feels that someone we don't know is getting too close he will bark and lunge and generally be intimidating. I feel safe with him.
If I'm on my own, we are in a lonely area, or I just have a bad/panicky feeling then I avoid talking to anyone if I can possibly help it.
quote:
Originally posted by Gail65
If we look at the statistics women that have been victim of a crime have most of the time been attack by someone they knew already. The number of crime perpetrated against women by pure strangers is very low. If we follow common sense like not doing our jogging alone at 5 a.m. in central park, odds of being attack by a stranger are slim.
See, they say that and I suppose it is mostly true, but then... the guy who 'abused' me as a child: stranger - at least to me, maybe not to my mother I don't know. Guy who sexually assualted me in a public toilet: stranger. Guys who gang-raped my mother: complete strangers. Guy who sexually harassed and intimidated my sister while she was waiting for the bus to work: stranger.
Based on my own experiences it doesn't matter if someone is a stranger, someone I kind of know, a friend of a friend - they are all potential abusers, no matter what way you look at it.
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"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone."
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posted: 07/29/12 at 1:27 PM
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I grew up in an inner-city area, so my mom was very protective of me until we moved out to the suburbs when I was in middle school. I've had a few experiences with aggressive men - nothing violent or physical - but aggressive. Thanks to my mom, my instincts kick in and I got myself out of those situations. I wasn't even doing anything special - one of the occasions I was at my university's huge computer lab back several years ago (actually on two occasions I was approached there aggressively) and the other time I was on a first date with someone and it was late at night and he wanted me to go into his apartment. I was only 25 at the time and he was much older than me. Then, from 26 to 28/29, my ex (one and only boyfriend of two years), would become verbally abusive when I had a different opinion than his, not on many occasions, but enough to make me never view him as a potential life partner again.
These experiences have definitely shaped me. I think I would be a far more open person in terms of relationships if I didn't feel I had to think about my personal safety. It takes me a long time to get comfortable and feel I can trust a man on a basic level. I tend to go on self-protect mode very often and stop seeing someone after one or two dates. Sometimes because there isn't a connection, but other times because I'm afraid of getting close to someone and finding myself in an unsafe predicament.
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posted: 08/07/12 at 10:02 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by wilsonjack230
I think girls should be brave, Girls don't worry about this matter because no one can't do anything with you without your permission.
This makes no sense. Of course people can do things to others without permission: by using fear, intimidation, threats, physical violence or drugs/alcohol. That's why the term rape - intercourse without consent of one party - exists in the first place. And believe me, I know first hand that if someone wants to hurt you, they will.
Also, this comment is technically victim-blaming. If no one can do anything to us without our permission, then it suggests that those of us who have suffered rape and assault and abuse must have somehow given permission. I don't know if it's just me, but this comment pretty much reeks of 'Well, unless you fought and struggled and did everything you could, you must have secretly wanted it, so it wasn't rape.'
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"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone."
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posted: 08/07/12 at 1:56 PM
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Be brave? No matter how bravely a woman may try to fight, the fact is men have superior upper body strength. Our only weapon is our wits, which is why we have to be careful and cautious.
Your other statement was taken apart nicely by BrokenStar. I think you'd better reconsider your post.
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Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another
~My opinions change with new information.~
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