You two have been given a blessing. If neither one of you want to be a parent to this child and are more worried about your other families what on earth made the two of you think bringing a child into this world was a good idea? Perhaps it seems harsh but if you didn't want to abort there was always the idea of adoption and for that matter there still is.
I like all these others am perplexed by how this guy could not want to be with his child regardless of the circumstances especially after begging you to have the child.
I have to wonder if the thought process you have is the same thought process he is having. It certainly doesn't seem so. When was the last time he paid a visit?
Regardless of whose place is better to live their is a child who needs to thrive at the root of this. It's time for you both to stop being selfish and decide if you are going to make this relationship work or not. If neither of you is willing to change your stance I think it is time you moved on. Get the support you and your child deserve but kick him to the curb. It isn't worth uprooting lives if forever is not in both of your minds. I know the pain of leaving family behind. If neither of you is in the mindset you will ending up hating your SO forever when things don't work out for you in the new place. It is inevitable.
Good luck to you. Sorry to be harsh but sometimes the truth can be a bitter pill to swallow!
Thanks for the replies. I still don't know what to do. I want to do what's best for our baby too off course. My bf was here last in May and is visiting again in a few weeks.
I would worry that if we break up, then how would our baby see his family over there ? I certainly would not want to visit anymore then
You have to face it and deal with him, I know it's gonna be hard and one of you has to make the sacrifice to this relationship if you really want this relationship work and good for your baby. To me, his family is his priority over his baby. I can't see how much he loves you and how much he tries. Sorry to hear your story, but I can't tell you what exactly to do.
A proper conversation regarding an end to the distance is long overdue. Maybe an intimate relationship between you and him is no longer tenable (for whatever reason), but a discussion regarding visitation and longterm financial support is necessary. Do not delay this discussion any longer.
----------
Sometimes you have to lose it all to find your way
Worry is the dark room where negatives develop! Focus on the positives...
