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Is it possible for a gay guy to have a crush on his lesbian best friend?  posted: 04/20/10 at 8:22 PM
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this may get long but bear with me...
okay,
here is the thing- i got a crush on my best friend awhile back and for the sake of this post, i'll call myself carla and my gay friend Guido... Anyway...
I came out to him in november and with that came the news that he knew i liked him and he said that nothing was going to happen and we got back to talking about me as a lesbian... anywho, we hang out a lot and we are always talking on facebook and stuff and sometimes the phone and i met his parents a few weeks ago and we have gotten playful towards each other and one thing i have noticed is that if we around certain friends of his, they steer clear when we are together...
now. before it is mentioned, i know i am a lesbian and he is gay... however, i am getting a vibe from him sometimes when we are hanging out that i am not the only one who has a crush on the other... in other words, i think guido likes carla, he just isn't saying anything...it's like when we are hanging out, we seem like boyfriend/girlfriend and it feels that way too..
lately we spend more time hanging out by ourselves and not so much with his friends... i'm only at school one day a week so i give him his space... when we are hanging out,and he runs into his friends, and if he doesn't include me. he apologizes after and makes sure i am okay.. we have been hanging out since about october and have gotten very close and i am wondering if it would be considered a friendmance, which is what he was saying it was way back when and i know i could ask him about it, but i just want an opinion...
just tell me what you think and if i forgot anything, i'll add it!!
thanks!!
Carla
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posted: 04/20/10 at 10:49 PM
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I sincerely doubt it.  I have a lot of gay friends, and am very close with some of them. They do the same things that you describe, but I know that it just means they care about me.
I also think that when you are very young (and single) that it's easy to form intense emotional attachments to a gay friend. You can know it's "safe" because you know that it can only be platonic,
I had the same thing with my gay best friend for several years. We were so often together that whenever one of us was out without the other, everyone would say, "hey, blondgirl, where's F?" LOL!
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Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another
~My opinions change with new information.~
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posted: 04/20/10 at 10:53 PM
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I sincerely doubt it. I have a lot of gay friends, and am very close with some of them. They do the same things that you describe, but I know that it just means they care about me.
I also think that when you are very young (and single) that it's easy to form intense emotional attachments to a gay friend. You can feel "safe" because you know that it can only be platonic, but you can get all the benefits (and none of the hassle) of a romantic relationship. For all intents and purposes, he IS your boyfriend- but without the sex.
I had the same thing with my gay best friend for several years. We were so often together that whenever one of us was out without the other, everyone would ask where the other one was! Conjoined twins...LOL! We grew out of it, but are still very close.
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Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another
~My opinions change with new information.~
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posted: 04/23/10 at 1:45 AM
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| Wow.. I totally know what you mean!! There are so many times it seems like we are a couple.. I get butterflies sometimes when I know I'll see him, all I Have to do is think about him and I feel better, when he gets mad or something at me which doesn't really happen in fact, he was a little pissed at something I said earlier, and I have yet to hear from him and it sucks..he has gotten better at including me in the convo with his friends when we are in a group situation..it has the feel of a date when we are hanging out on our own and I love the way you put it that he is my boyfriend without the sex
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posted: 05/15/10 at 2:43 AM
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| I can relate to your situation because I too have a gay best friend but I'm a bisexual. A few years ago, I told my friend how I felt about him although I knew he had a boyfriend at the time. I just couldn't go on without him knowing. Of couse, he didn't feel the same way, but we are still close friends and act like like you and Guido. PS. The close friendship can come in handy when you are out with him and want to ward off someone you are not interested in-hehe!
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posted: 06/27/11 at 4:36 AM
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My best friend is also gay, and has the dubious honor of being my First Love. We've been friends now for 38 years and it wasn't till about 2 years ago that I FINALLY realized he and I would never be more than BFF. Boyfriend without the sex, yeah-a good way to put it indeed 
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Rodger Swan 12/19/1986-1/26/2010 Gone too soon, remembered forever. R.I.P my friend.
You have everything that I have to give; it is the only way that Love truly exists. You and I are each One, and we are both One~E
I cannot be accurately judged by the meat and bone wrapped around me - its features were not my choice.~E
I Love you. Love Me as I Love you, you are Me. you are not me; only here are we we, separate rather than Me, One.~E
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