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I think my wife is a lesbian.... posted: 12/04/10 at 2:27 PM
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Sorry I don't know if this is the best place to post this but I was curious what other people thought of the situation. We've been happily married for 4.5 years now and together for almost 6. Most people are envious of our marriage because we get along so well (although we do have the occasional quarrel). What started out as (what I thought) innocent comments and remarks several years ago, is really starting to concern me. I don't doubt my wife loves me but I'm concerned she's drawn more to the same sex as more time goes by. Not in a kinky bisexual way, but as in not all that interested in guys way. Here's the actions for concerns just to make it easy:
1) On the rare occasion we decide to watch porn together it's the lesbian scenes that really get her turned on.
2) She is always going to the gay & lesbian section of netflix to watch, not gay, but lesbian flix. She even watched every single episode of "The L word" in 1 month and then went back to watch more episodes again. If you asked her, it would probably be her favorite show. (In her defense it's actually a pretty good series)
3) She gets really giddy and secretive when talking to one of her lesbian friends (they don't hang out as she lives a few hours from here, but they text a lot) but she's never secretive but for some reason she always deletes their text messages.
4) She makes light comments in passing that if we ever got divorced she "thinks" she would probably be a lesbian.
5) She talks about what kind of girls she would like if she was a lesbian.
Those are some of the major things. We still have what I feel is a very healthy marriage. We are happy and she always tells me she loves me. It's not that we're growing apart and maybe I'm making a mountain from a molehill but I do think about it a lot. We usually have very strong communication but for some reason I find it hard to talk to her about this. Perhaps I'm afraid of where the conversation might lead? I'm also concerned that she might take it really personally and hold it against me for a long time. Any lesbians that were married at one time had a similiar transition?
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-ShibbyDUDE
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posted: 12/09/10 at 6:45 PM
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Your marriage is happy and healthy. The kind of people your wife is attracted to is completely irrelevant so long as that's true.
There is nothing in your post to indicate that your wife is not attracted to you, or guys in general.
So communicate. Ask her to reassure you that she's still attracted to you. Perhaps you have something new in common to talk about. You can check out hot chicks together.
How do you know she deletes her friend's texts? Are you snooping? Unlike your wife's bi-curious nature, that sort of thing really does pose a danger to your relationship with her.
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posted: 12/09/10 at 9:59 PM
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Agreed. As long as she is attracted to you, it doesn't pose any threat to your marriage.
A lot of women wonder what it would be like to be with a girl. That doesn't mean they would actually have sex with one- it's a fantasy and a curiosity. A person can fantasize or think about or even experiment with homosexuality without actually BEING homosexual. Do you know how many straight girls I've made out with?? I've even had sex with straight girls.  They went straight back to being with men afterward, and it had no effect on their lives other than to be a good story to tell.
But how would you feel if she came out as bi-curious or bi-sexual?
You should talk to her.
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Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another
~My opinions change with new information.~
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