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posted: 09/02/11 at 3:51 AM
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| yes I met him at my cousins.he is a close friend with my cousins.we just met a couple of months ago (at easter).my parents like him more than they like my cousins.they can see he is a sweet guy.I only told one friend tat we were together.she wasn't thrilled but she said as long as iam happy n I don't do anything stupid then its ok. I can sense that I can trust him.I spent a day with him wgen I was at my cousins so I noe wat he looks like(totally hot for his age).but I noe this is going to take time if we want to see eachother.but iama start to date other guys.we already dicussed this n he told me I should because of my age.he doesn't want to be selfish.he deeply cares for me
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posted: 01/13/12 at 11:02 PM
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A two decade gap is one thing, but it can work. What will likely not work though is where you are in life. You're 18 and haven't had a chance to truly know what you want out of life yet. Being in a serious relationship with someone who likely has their life settled will be very restrictive. I would advise waiting seven more years before investing your life into a serious relationship.
I was 18 ten years ago and I understand how it can feel like you know exactly what you want. But you need to trust your parents and others who have the life experience that what you want now isn't worth burning bridges for. You need to really listen to them. Of course other 18 year old dudes just want sex and are immature. They are at the peak of their sex drives! Try dating some mid twenties guys and see how that goes.
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Pay attention to your partner. If you don't...somebody else will.
There are three sides to every story. Yours, theirs, and the truth.
MATH MADE EASY
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posted: 02/13/12 at 5:08 AM
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I have a 33 year age gap between me and my boyfriend. We just celebrated our one year anniversary, however we have been dating for 4 years...
Loved ones will understand, with time. I can't speak from experience in that department because from day one, my entire family has been very accepting and understanding. I am very blessed in that. Our age gap works for us. He is my best friend and more. We just had a baby together in november 2011. Make sure you want the same things in life. I made sure having a baby with him was something he would want early on, dont sacrafice anything like that if he does not, it would turn into resentment later. If you love this person, heart and soul, the only thing you would ever have to lose and regret is not having a life with him when you could have. Even though 20 years may seem "excessive" to some people, its only you that would have to live with it in the end, not them. There are trials that come with it. We have had our share of misunderstandings and speedbumps along the way, but i think that is what has made us stronger as time went on. If you picture your life 30 years down the road and it is with that person, even if you picture them having health issues or bedroom issues or even in adult diapers for crying out loud and you still want to spend your life with that person and none of it matters... then my friend i think you have found your "one."
I have found mine. I wish the best for you and yours and I hope it works out
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posted: 02/13/12 at 2:17 PM
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As long as two adults can find common ground, relationships of this nature can work. Are you on the same level in terms of maturity, goals, opinions, etc? Like any relationship, it comes down to a balance of give & take, acceptance, and respecting each other. I believe people come into our lives for a reason, and we learn and grow from them. Respect the advice your parents offer and stay honest with them. They are being protective for a reason but, so as long as you are honest about the situation, I'm sure they will go with your wishes because they obviously want the best for you.
Good luck,
Grace
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www.romanticfrugalmom.com - The love letter lady.
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posted: 06/10/12 at 12:53 AM
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I don't think the future of this relationship is really the point right now. If the couple doesn't mind about the age difference, then noone should. There's something that seems more important at this moment: what kind of guy is this? To be honest, sweet words of an older man that didn't even get to fully know the girl, sounds a bit odd. I think an older man that wants a serious relationship with a younger girl, shows that he's serious by not changing his behaviour for her. If he feels the girl is not on the same level as he is because of her age, it's the best solution for him to back out. If he doesn't, it's because he wants something else. You're very young, and the fact that you find boys of your age immature doesn't all of a sudden make you a 39-year old.
If I'm wrong, which is absolutely possible of course, and you are made for each other and are on the same level etc. etc., then he knows this situation is awkward for your and his environment and he will talk to you about possible issues you will be facing (not only about the good stuff). Also he will be looking for a way for you to be together without having to hide it. In other words: he'd stand up for it in front of other people like your family. If he never seems to care or speak about the negative side effects of your relationship, then there's something wrong. And by that I mean that he's not looking for a serious partner (someone to marry later, like he told you), but just for fun. In that case an 18-year old girl may be an easy target.
If he's serious about you, he is facing the problems you're gonna have. I don't say all this because I want to keep you from doing anything with an older man, trust me, I'm the first one to date a much too old guy, I personally like older men. So that's not the issue. If he's good for you, go for it, but be aware of the fact that it won't be all sunshine and rainbows 
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posted: 07/30/12 at 12:08 AM
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I really cant believe some of you are encouraging this.
39 year-old MEN should not be dating 18 year-old GIRLS...She could be her father for crying out loud. If you were 28, even 25 I'd say you have enough sense to make a decision, but if you think you've met the love of your life at 18 in a 39 year-old I'm sorry but I really have my doubts.
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posted: 08/19/12 at 1:49 AM
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Where was I when this thread came out!!!
It's normal for young girls to be infatuated with older men, they're confident, they have security, they have money, they know how to sweet talk. It's NOT normal for a 39 y/o man to go after an 18 y/o!!!! If he needs to pursue teenage girls it's because women his age don't want him!! When my daughter was 18 I was 40. If a man MY AGE would have pursued her I would have had some common sense beaten into him!! ...I hardly exaggerate here.
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posted: 09/04/12 at 4:57 PM
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hey its been awhle since ive posted in here.well lets name the guy"jeff". me and jeff still talk to eachother but havent seen eachother in person.we still love eachother.i have a boyfreind(which jeff is aware of).jeff is extremly jealous but repsects my opinion.iam in college now and have a part time job.
ive noticed some stuff about jeff that ive havent realized before.jeff would fill my head with fantasys and say how we would live together but has never made the effort to visit me.
he lives in florida but comes to conneticut from time to time.he wants me to visit him in florida in his aprtment but i relaized iam to young and cant leave my family(or they dont want me to).iam trying to show them iam an adult but i guess no parent wants for there child to move in with a guy they only met once.i think he should be the adult and visit me becasue its not safe for me to travel alone(even though jeff said he woulld pay the airplane ticket for me).
iam happy where i am now with my boyfriend but always think from time to time what would my life be with me and jeff.i feel horrible at times that my boyfriend deosnt know about jeff but i think some things are better left unsaid.
i hope this situation will get better with time hopefully.please leave your opinion below thanks
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