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How to cheer your partner up when she is feeling sick? posted: 11/14/08 at 11:56 AM
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Hi my girlfriend is sort of the type who falls sick often(fever) because her body is abit weak. But she also feels bad everytime she tells me she is sick, cos she says she doesn't want me to worry, she feels bad for making me worry, that she doesn't want to look weak or i will get tired of worrying about her too much...
I want to cheer her up saying it's ok, im not scared she is weak, i don't look down on her and i want her to trust me with this. Today she hadn't told me she was sick until 10pm...
Is there any advice i can give to her to let her confide in me more? I truly understand how hard it is for her though, i guess even for me, the type who feels insecure alot, it was hard for me to tell her my own weaknesses yet i don't know what to say.
It's not a big problem atm, she does tell me most of the time when she is sick, but she always cries when she tells me and i understand it is a big issue for her. Can anyone tell me advice on how i could cheer her up?
Thank you in advanced for any advice, i really appreciate it.
ps. so far i give her a call immediately, send her pictures of flowers(cos im in an LDR atm..), emails and sms's, e-cards to cheer her up as much as possible.
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posted: 11/14/08 at 12:22 PM
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Try not making such a big deal out of it. When people are sick a lot it can be really hard feeling like you have to cheer up the ppl around you who are worried about you all the time. Being chronically ill myself, and the mother of a terminally ill child, I remember breaking the news to ppl that my son was not going to recover and finding myself consoling them...
Now, my SO is a cancer survivor and he doesn't like to tell me when something's bothering him for the same reason. He doesn't want ppl making a fuss over him. I just ask him to be honest with me so I can do what I can to cheer him up because I will worry more seeing that something is wrong and not knowing what it is, than if I know and can offer my support.
I get fevers a lot too, and when I do, they tend to spike up very high (I hallucinate with them). I generally like it if my SO just chats with me and keeps me company on webcam while I drift in and out of consciousness  (We're LDR too) He will usually tell me to imagine him snuggled up to me running his fingers up an down along my spine, or something snuggly and affectionate like that  He describes it in great detail and it's so relaxing and loving 
The other thing that has made me feel really nice when I was sick in the past was when I was living with a friend and his girlfriend and I often had a sexual relationship with them. I got very sick onetime and they wanted me to play, but I wasn't up to it, so they talked me into just laying on my belly while they treated me to a FULL body massage (hehe inside and out) with no expectations. I know you can't do that from and LDR situation, but what really stood out about that was the way they made me feel sexy and beautiful even at my worst. It may help your girl to be reminded that her most positive features do not go anywhere when she is sick. Show her that you see through the illness to the woman you love.
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