A collection of love, romance and relationships resources including advice, poetry, quotes, dedications, chat, horoscopes, romantic ideas, message boards, free love postcards and much more!!
What's New Today on LYC...
Monthly Romance Calendar
Forum Quick Links:   Forum Home   |   My Home Page   |   My Inbox   |   My Calendar   |   Find Members   |   FAQ   |   Terms  
Popular Forums:   LYC Chat   |   Love Advice   |   Sexually Speaking   |   Military Spouses   |   Online Romance   |   Ask A Male   |   LDR   |   Holidays  
Lovingyou.com > Military Relationships > Military Spouses > A few jokes to ease up the tension..
A few jokes to ease up the tension.. Wink posted: 02/12/07 at 4:16 AM

M'sgirl  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 90
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Aug 2004
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
Life sentence

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

Social Security
A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.

I'd Do Anything

A blonde rushes to a young professor's office. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam."

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.

"I mean.." she whispers, "..I would do ANYTHING!!"

He returns her gaze. "Anything??"

"Yes,.. Anything!" She says.

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you.. study??"

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 02/12/07 at 6:07 AM

nys1616  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 37
 Group: New Member 
 Joined: Jul 2005
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
Thank You for the laughs I needed them

----------
nys1616

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 02/12/07 at 6:54 AM
143BOD  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 253
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Sep 2003
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
hahaa these are great lol thanks for the jokes!

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 02/12/07 at 7:12 AM

Stewartswife  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 1073
 Group: Member 
 Joined: May 2005
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
Those were great!

----------
"I'm already there" - Lonestar

To those who gave all - Thanks to Monta who did just that and to Erin for showing such strength.

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 02/12/07 at 11:26 AM

ArmyWife1228  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 278
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Dec 2006
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
HAHA. Those were funny. Thanks for sharing

----------
~*~Somewhere between all our laughs, long talks, stupid little fights, and all our jokes, I fell in love~*~

~*~Counting down the days until I see you again~*~

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 02/12/07 at 11:34 AM

Jillzys  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 1523
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Oct 2005
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
Thanks for the laugh those were really good!!!

----------
Jillian
*~Love is giving someone the power to break your heart and trusting them not to~*

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 02/12/07 at 12:47 PM

lucky#seven  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 233
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Oct 2006
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
thanks for the laugh I needed it too!

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse

 

Notice: Use this form ONLY if you are already a member! New users, register for free here!
Notice: This is our quick reply form, for all reply options such as smilies, HTML and more, click here!
Fast Reply:
Your User Name:    Want to register?
Your Password:    Forgotten your password?
Subject: (Optional)
Show Signature: include your profile signature.
 Notice: By submitting to this site, you agree to these terms of use.
Forum Options:
· Save this topic to my favorites (subscribed)!

· Email this topic to a friend!
Rate This Thread:

Back To: Lovingyou.com > Military Relationships > Military Spouses > A few jokes to ease up the tension..

 

LOVINGYOU.COM SITE MAP
LOVE:  Communication | Affairs | Dating | Getting Serious | Getting Married | Break Ups | Loving Yourself | Support Groups | Dear Love
ROMANCE:  Romance 101 | Ideas | Date Nights | Recipes for Two | Romantic Travel | Craft Ideas | Holidays & Celebrations
PASSION:  Lovemaking 101 | Passion Play | Loverotica | Ask Aphrodite | Pillow Talk
INSPIRATION:  Love Poetry | Love Letters | Love Quotes | Love Stories | Dedications | Printables | Lovescopes | eCards
   Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Contact Us | Writer's Guidelines | Suggestions

Lovingyou.com, Inc.SM All rights reserved.

Message board powered by vBulletin. Copyright ©2000, 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.

SheKnows Lifestyles