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Lovingyou.com > Pillow Talk > Sexually Speaking > Hubby gets mad because sex hurts me
Hubby gets mad because sex hurts me Unhappy posted: 09/23/06 at 3:29 PM

angelcakes03  [more]
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I'm super depressed about this. This is around the 4th time hes acted like this to me and Im not sure what to do. A month ago I got the depo shot and my hormones have been off lately. Also my husband went through his last growth spurt so he has also gotten bigger (in more areas than one). It is already difficult for me to adjust to his size as it is, and I've tried to please him when he is in the mood, but unfortunately most of the time within the past two weeks the sex has been uncomfortable and even somewhat painful. He told me to tell him, but every time I do he gets mad and leaves the room and says he'll never have sex with me again because it just hurts and there is no point. Tonight he went to bed without a word to me, after I told him to go easy in a position we were in because it hurts if he goes too deep. Anyway, I'm very upset and not sure how to handle this. I feel like he thinks hes wasting his time being intimate with me when he isn't. I just want one night where things arent painful and he isn't disapointed.

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posted: 09/23/06 at 11:06 PM
aisling71  [more]
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Yeah, seriously. Sex has always been painful for me and my husband has always been good about it. He goes slower when I ask him to or he stops if I just can't take it anymore, and he accepts that we are going to have only oral sex sometimes.

I know how hard it is for you to have painful sex and I know the feeling of wishing for just one night of no pain so that I can please him (I have gotten those nights, by the way, and they are wonderful for both of us!), but I just can't understand your husband's attitude towards this. You should not let the pain put you working against him, but rather, the two of you should be working together against the pain, to ind out what makes things better and learn to avoid the things that make it worse.

If your husband can't understand this, then there is little hope for your marriage, so I hope you can get through to him. If he is willing to see a counsellor with you, that might help to get the two of you communicating better.

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posted: 09/24/06 at 2:52 AM

angelcakes03  [more]
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After he went to bed last night he came back out and cuddled with me. I didn't talk to him when he came out he was just very affectionate towards me which sometimes is his way of apologizing. This hasn't been a reaccuring problem for months, its been this past week and a half. Also I strained my wrist at work so we cant do any positions that involve me puttingalot weight or pressure on it. If you have any ideas of positions that are easy on my wrist and are really stimulating for both of us don't hesitate to share. Thank you for your replies so far.

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posted: 09/24/06 at 6:24 AM

TonysGirl87  [more]
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Hey its not all about him its about you to and how it makes you both feel. If your hurting he needs to take it easy and be more gentle and UNDERSTANDING insteand of acting like a little child.

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posted: 09/26/06 at 10:39 PM
Cutieag69  [more]
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I used depo also and sex got very painful. Start with lube. also ask your Dr. for a prescription creme to hydrate inside. Use it daily. (not a lube for sex). Also have your hormones checked. Once the Dr. got my hormones right sex was better than ever.

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posted: 09/27/06 at 3:07 AM

DesireeNyC  [more]
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When my So and i have sex it sometimes very painful, if he even looks at me and see pain he stops, I went to the dictor and he said its normal for my condtion( I have polycyctic) We can still not do some postions, but my Bf is great about it.

You ned to talk to her Hubby, thats really not a nice way to be treating you. Tell hm its gets you more upset about his behavior then anything, Its mean and rude and inconsidarate, And he needs to stop blaming you.

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~Desiree~

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posted: 09/27/06 at 4:52 AM

Spacegirl  [more]
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Aww sweet girl......

Why is he so angry that it hurts you?? You should try to make him understand that sex hurts for most of us women and it takes a little time and patience until we can adjust. He should be flattered a little?? Most men I think would have a little ego kick out of it....

My b/f tears me sometimes!! OMG it hurts so bad after!! and I had to tell him to stop spreading my cheeks apart when he's entering me b/c it's going to tear me.....He has no problem with that....He does get soooo excited and carried away sometimes...but as long as I don't tear I like the pain a little!!! And I like to watch his face during what he calls, "a fight to get in"

But I can't keep him off me (and I can't keep myself off him) hehe and through a little pain and tearing for the 1st couple of months I adjusted.....

Just talk to your husband tell him to take it a little slower for a little while until you get adjusted a little better....That he should not get offended....b/c you are just communicating how you feel.

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Due Oct. 2nd, 2007

baby went heaven 3/16/07

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posted: 09/27/06 at 5:10 AM

Spacegirl  [more]
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quote:
Originally posted by angelcakes03
After he went to bed last night he came back out and cuddled with me. I didn't talk to him when he came out he was just very affectionate towards me which sometimes is his way of apologizing. This hasn't been a reaccuring problem for months, its been this past week and a half. Also I strained my wrist at work so we cant do any positions that involve me puttingalot weight or pressure on it. If you have any ideas of positions that are easy on my wrist and are really stimulating for both of us don't hesitate to share. Thank you for your replies so far.


Sure there is plenty!

Good ol missionary position
Side by side
On your back with him holding your legs up
If he likes it from behind you can lay on your stomach and prop you bum up a bit (use your elbow and arch a little for more control)
With him sitting up you can turn around (back facing him) and then sit on his penis...then lean back and he can help support you and control the up and down movements.
You can be on top while he is laying down....
There really is a lot....

have you tried watching porn for ideas??
go to ask jolene.com (it's a free sex search engine)
click on videos and type in whatever you desire.....you can even type in "making love" and some very nice video clips are under that title.

Also the web has tons of sites with drawings,animation,instructions on all the different sex positions.

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Due Oct. 2nd, 2007

baby went heaven 3/16/07

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posted: 09/28/06 at 11:06 PM

Spacegirl  [more]
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I do not want to get this thread off the topic....

But I must say to you, that ALL WOMEN are different. I was not speaking for you. I was speaking for all the women who have similar issues.

Not that it is your business but, yes I am very tiny. Also, my Dr. said I am built a little different, she said nothing unusual. Her concern seemed to be more about me suffering from cramps and lower back pain more when I am on my period.

Don't get me wrong, if you are experiencing extreme pain then yes something is most likely wrong....If the pain comes from deeper inside you, you could be suffering from ovarian cysts, PID, cancers, etc. If it is more around the opening and vulva it could be either a viral/bacterial/yeast infection. Common sense and a visit or call to your Dr. is usually the smart thing to do.

Without being graphic....I enjoy the pain....the pain after was not so enjoyable but it was brief and would go away quickly and to be honest I feel a little lucky....Every time I have sex with my b/f it feels like the 1st time. He loves it I love it!! AND, yes I did adjust. I am young I'm only 22 I have not been having sex that long and I have no children. Being so tiny makes my b/f really excited and sometimes he will get carried away which will lead to a little more pain than usual after. But, I rarely experience that anymore....

Angelcakes, if the pain is really bad or does not seem to be going away or getting better call you Dr. and talk to him/her about what’s going. Most of the time the Dr or Nurse will give you advice
(Like in my case, my Dr. says to use lubrication esp. for entry) If they feel like your problem could possibly be something serious they will make an appt.

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Due Oct. 2nd, 2007

baby went heaven 3/16/07

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