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Lovingyou.com > Love Advice & Tips > Ask A Male > men pleasing women
men pleasing women posted: 08/07/06 at 2:23 PM

mattey8989  [more]
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why do some men insist on keeping exs close even if their kids are grown. mine loves to keep his close and brags when other women flirt with him. why do men share this with their current wife or a gf? and why would they want things this way?

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posted: 08/07/06 at 8:00 PM

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All men don't. I distance myself from my ex's. I find being around them and having to acknowledge them uncomfortable. As far as the bragging about other woman flirting, most men exaggerate that a bit to inflate their ego. Telling our significant other about this is a play to get you to step up the action, appreciation, or something that we feel is missing. BUT, we aren't unique. Woman love attention from men just as much as us men like attenion from women.

It's funny. I'm not a flirter. I am personable but never inappropriate or suggestive. I don't spend more time than I should at work starring at women in the hallway or going out of my way to get to know them, like so many men do.... And guess what? Most women who don't know me think I'm stuck up! That is until they start working with me, and then eventually I'll always get the same comment which is, "before I started working with you I thought you were stuck up, now that I know you better I think you're a really good guy". Go figure.

Wanting to fit in, wanted to be wanted, wanting to be a part of the crowd and feel appreciated is a human need and a priority for all of us. The fact that he has to share how much (he thinks) he is important to other women with you, suggests that he needs something more from you. It's kind of like this, "all these other women like me" (thats the part he says), then silent finish of that sentence is "so why don't you?".

Next time he says it, tell him you'll make a deal with him. Ask him if he can pinpoint what he is missing from you in the relationship you two have that causes him to have to bring up how appreciative other women are of him, then you'll try to provide it. In return what you want from him is that he stops bringing up how much other women like him to you.

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posted: 08/21/06 at 2:49 PM

mattey8989  [more]
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thanks=great advice!

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