A collection of love, romance and relationships resources including advice, poetry, quotes, dedications, chat, horoscopes, romantic ideas, message boards, free love postcards and much more!!
What's New Today on LYC...
Monthly Romance Calendar
Forum Quick Links:   Forum Home   |   My Home Page   |   My Inbox   |   My Calendar   |   Find Members   |   FAQ   |   Terms  
Popular Forums:   LYC Chat   |   Love Advice   |   Sexually Speaking   |   Military Spouses   |   Online Romance   |   Ask A Male   |   LDR   |   Holidays  
Lovingyou.com > Love Advice & Tips > Life Advice > My Boyfriend Has Gay Male Friends
My Boyfriend Has Gay Male Friends Question posted: 03/30/03 at 8:15 AM
mangoprinces  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 22
 Group: New Member 
 Joined: Mar 2003
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
My boyfriend has several gay friends. Sometimes I speak on line to one of his old gay friends and he always tells me to send my boyfriend his love. Then my boyfriend hangs out with this one particular flambouyant gay guy, "Steven". He is like a women, with his personality, and even the way he talks, he is so much drama. My boyfriend also has another gay friend, "Danny", that he got a job for at his company. The three of them always hang out and smoke weed after work together. Steven is very annoying, and is constantly bothering me. He used to tell me that him and my boyfriend were lovers, and other jokes like that. I had to have it out with him one day, because I no longer found his jokes funny. My boyfriend says he doesnt mind because that is just how Steven is. My boyfriend even gets mad at me when I am annoyed with Steven. My boyfriend seems to always make friends with gay guys. Also before I met my boyfriend, he told me he danced in a gay club 2 times for money because his friend was doing it. He also lost this guy as a friend eventually. Is it normal for my boyfriend to always have gay friends? Is it normal for him to always drink and smoke up with them? And spend so much time with them? Is it normal that my boyfriend has never seen anything wrong with Steven's behavior? Can I also tell you that some people have accused my boyfriend of being gay when I first met him. These people were mutual friends of ours...or at least knew him, and were my friends. I dont know what to do. I dont think he acts gay or is gay, but is this a normal behavior? Not to mention that his friend Steve has AIDS, and sometimes my boyfriends shaves Steve's head for him...and doesnt really pay mind to his disease. Please advise me.

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 03/30/03 at 8:23 AM

cuddlebear  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 122
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Mar 2003
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
No, it doesn't mean he's gay. I have gay friends too. And that's what they are .. FRIENDS ... I don't have any desire to do anything sexual with another male. But a couple of my very best friends are gay. I see them a lot but not for any reason other than they are my friends.

If he DOES have any homosexual tendencies, he needs to let you know about it. If he were gay, I don't imagine he would want to have a girlfriend unless he was bi, but he needs to be honest at any rate. Ask him straight out. (No pun intended)

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 03/30/03 at 10:22 AM

girly  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 2682
 Group:  
 Joined: Aug 2002
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
have you asked your boyfriend flat out if HE is gay or if he's experimented with it in the past?

i dont find anything "wrong" or unusual about him hanging out with gay guys all the time... but the rest of what you wrote does make me wonder if he's had past gay romances and decided he was straight, or perhaps he is bi. well, i certainly wouldnt expect a 100% straight male to dance at a gay club, at least, but im sure it's possible. his friend saying that to you in a "joking" manner that he and your boyfriend were lovers also makes me curious. there's a saying that there is a grain of truth in most of the things people joke about.

----------
10.11.00

hold the S because i am an AINT - marilyn manson


i love john

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 03/30/03 at 11:31 AM

-theempress-  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 1082
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Feb 2003
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
I don't see what's really different from what guys normally do with friends; drink, smoke weed (unfortunately it's more popular than it should be), go to clubs, hang out. The only difference is this is with gay males. So what?

It would seem to me your boyfriend makes gay friends all the time is because he hangs out with gay crowds. Therefore just being around them he will naturally make gay friends. Does this make him normal to have all these gay friends? I can tell you it's probably not the *average* but who's to say what's constitues normal? If it's normal to your boyfriend and he's comfortable with it that's all that matters.

Drinking and smoking are something that a lot of guys do together, regardless of their sexual preference.

Your boyfriend accepts "Steven" for who he is, otherwise he wouldn't have become friends with him. I wouldn't take any serious offense to his comments, he's just making a joke.

It's okay for your boyfriend to shave Steve's head as long as no bodily fluids, in this case blood, come into contact. The only way I could see him possibly contracting the disease is that if he cut Steve while shaving his head and your boyfriend had an open wound on his hand.

I think you need to stop looking at his friends sexual preference and just see them as they are, your boyfriends friends.

Last edited by -theempress- on 03/30/03 at 2:50 PM

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 03/30/03 at 2:11 PM

eft505k  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 3786
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Feb 2003
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
Umm... ok....
I am a strait woman with some platonic lesbian girlfriends. I hang around them, drive them home from parties (I'm a strict non-drinker) and they crash at my place, sometimes in my bed. Nevertheless, I prefer men, they just have a different smell to them (not that women are odius, but there are different pheremones).
It can be hard to know how to think about homosexuals, they have one sex and another gender, and androgony is difficult always.
I understand that you are concerned about AIDS, but theempress is right, it's not airborn after all. The best way I've found to deal with AIDS/HIV is to forget, as much as possible, that the person has it. That way you treat them as human beings.

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse
posted: 03/31/03 at 4:51 AM

Luftballoons  [more]
IP: Logged
 Posts: 4256
 Group: Member 
 Joined: Aug 2002
 Status: OFFLINE
Make Buddy | PM User
As soon as weed came into the picture, I'd be out of there...that's not your question, but I always feel compelled to add my two cents on that kind of thing.

My boyfriend and I have a mutual friend named Mike who is gay. I have NO problem with Mike and my boyfriend hanging around or talking or whatever. Just because they're homosexual doesn't mean they'll jump all over friends of their "preferred" sex.

As for the AIDS thing, I would suggest that your boyfriend maybe wear those plastic disposable gloves because if there is a cut on your boyfriends hand or the razor slips, that could be a really bad situation. It's a sad fact that this friend has AIDS, and yes he should be treated just the same as everyone else....but when there IS a chance of transmitting the disease (such as a slip of the razor) you just have to take some precautions.

click to: respond to this topic

Options: Reply To Topic | Start New Topic | Edit Message | Quote Message | Report Abuse

 

Notice: Use this form ONLY if you are already a member! New users, register for free here!
Notice: This is our quick reply form, for all reply options such as smilies, HTML and more, click here!
Fast Reply:
Your User Name:    Want to register?
Your Password:    Forgotten your password?
Subject: (Optional)
Show Signature: include your profile signature.
 Notice: By submitting to this site, you agree to these terms of use.
Forum Options:
· Save this topic to my favorites (subscribed)!

· Email this topic to a friend!
Rate This Thread:

Back To: Lovingyou.com > Love Advice & Tips > Life Advice > My Boyfriend Has Gay Male Friends

 

LOVINGYOU.COM SITE MAP
LOVE:  Communication | Affairs | Dating | Getting Serious | Getting Married | Break Ups | Loving Yourself | Support Groups | Dear Love
ROMANCE:  Romance 101 | Ideas | Date Nights | Recipes for Two | Romantic Travel | Craft Ideas | Holidays & Celebrations
PASSION:  Lovemaking 101 | Passion Play | Loverotica | Ask Aphrodite | Pillow Talk
INSPIRATION:  Love Poetry | Love Letters | Love Quotes | Love Stories | Dedications | Printables | Lovescopes | eCards
   Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Contact Us | Writer's Guidelines | Suggestions

Lovingyou.com, Inc.SM All rights reserved.

Message board powered by vBulletin. Copyright ©2000, 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.

SheKnows Lifestyles